If Your Mama Doesn't Adore You, Who Will?

I learned a lot from the first principal I worked with at my school. Among the most important of those lessons was the day he pointed out that no matter how difficult a kid may be, we should expect the child's parents to stand up for him. I've never forgotten that idea and it often gives me just a little more patience when I have a difficult time with a student in my classroom. I also think of this when I am taking care of my son. I don't want to make excuses for him, but I do want him to know that I am unfailingly in his corner. It was a message my parents always gave me, and I am passing it on.

I did my first parent-teacher conference as a single mama today. I felt awfully alone for those 20 minutes. At the age 6, though he tries as hard as he can, my boy is struggling to learn how to read. He's afraid to fail and this makes him reluctant to take risks. It's a problem that I know about and I am working on. He sees a reading tutor for extra help each week and he and I practice reading almost every night of the week. In the car on the way to school in the morning he reads the road signs and we talk about the words that the letters spell, the sounds that they make, and the multitude of ways in which the English language doesn't play fair (have you ever tried to sound out the word school?). He's working awfully hard and he's come so far already. I am so proud of his efforts and I tell him so every day.

Much as I love him, I know JT is not perfect and I can hear about the things that my son needs to work on. But today I also needed to hear what he does well. I needed to hear something of the beauty I see in him: his terrific imagination, his kind heart, his capable vocabulary, his sense of humor, his physical strength, his ability to make friends.

It's a hard job this business of being a mama. And my job has gotten a lot harder since I began to do it by myself. Today I wished for someone to sit by my side as I heard from his teacher; someone who believed in my son as much as I do.

But it wasn't to be.