1. Tempting as it may be, one should not run to the mall in one's Christmas sweater, sweatshirt, turtleneck, or the like. I'll not say that I have entirely avoided the temptation of holiday clothing, as that would be false. But the Christmas sweater should come out on the 1st of December and go away on the 25th. This rule is as firm as the law of gravity.
2. As it turns out, you are not the only driver on the road who wants to make a turn. It is hard to believe that the earth's rotation is not dependent on you getting through that light. But, ahem, it's not.
3. There is no store left on the planet prepared to offer you a full-price refund without a receipt. Deal with it.
4. Unlikely as it may seem, many people have the day after Christmas off from work and they too are eager to shop the sales. Lines are to be expected and you must wait in them. Patiently. Here again it helps to remember that you are not the center of the universe.
5. No child in his or her right mind willingly quits playing with the toys left by Santa to accompany you to the mall. Perhaps this is why junior had a meltdown in the middle of Bridgewater Commons, whilst passersby looked on in horror.
Thanks so much for the hearty laugh as I prepare to do some post-holiday shopping.
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