The backstory: Last Sunday afternoon, because Mother Nature was thwarting my plans to paint the porch, I turned on the telly to find a baseball game to watch while I folded laundry. The Mets were playing the Cardinals, Sassafras Dad's favorite team. The Mets were winning. So I gave my Dad a call to harass him.
Me: I see that your Cardinals are struggling this afternoon.
Dad: Don't talk to me about that.
Me: Gee Dad, why so sensitive?
Dad: I can't watch the game out here. Whenever I turn on the television to watch a game it's ether the damned Yankees or the freakin' Red Sox. Yesterday the only game I could see was the Yankees playing the Red Sox. Screw that.
I know from long experience how the Sassafras Dad feels about the Yankees and the Red Sox, so caution is called for, lest he explode in a diatribe about the multiple reasons that the Yankees and the Red Sox suck. But before I could say anything, Dad offered up one more thought:
Dad: The only good thing about the Yankees playing the Red Sox is that you are guaranteed one of those bastard teams will lose.
Me: Well okay. So Dad, how's the weather out your way?
Heh. That's not the Sassafrass Dad I thought it was going to be when I read the title!
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