Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Let me begin by noting that all the occupants of Sassafras House are alive and well; none of us worse for the wear.

Those of you who grow faint of heart when hearing of blood should stop reading now.

Still reading? It was a busy day at our house yesterday. I had a full morning of working out, house cleaning, laundry and yard work. At 3:00, my chores complete, I headed up to the shower to clean up for a trip to my local grocery store.

And it was in the shower that trouble reared its head. Like many women of a certain age who have given birth, I've got my own pet varicose vein. I've had it for years and it's never been even a bit of problem. It's unsightly, but as a long time opponent of cosmetic surgery, I can live with it. Yesterday, it gave me trouble for the first time. I was shaving my legs, an activity that I do every day, when I nicked the varicose vein.

Let's just say that when you nick a vein like that, bleeding doesn't even begin to describe the unfolding drama in your shower. The vein literally spurted blood. Pools of it, everywhere I turned, gushing out with an impressive degree of pressure. It didn't hurt at all but it made a notable mess, like a slasher movie had just been made in my shower. And the application of pressure had no effect, as I immediately bled through layer after layer of thick, heavy towels.

My friend sb, who arrived just in the nick of time, agreed with me: a 9-1-1 call was in order. The emergency crew responded with speed and soon my bathroom and hallway was filled with local law enforcement and paramedics. They couldn't stem the tide either......and seemed suitably impressed that I hadn't yet passed out. To be fair, the combination of adrenaline and boundless horror of being found naked by strangers certainly took care of that. I was calm, cool, collected, and clothed by the time they arrived.

But I was bleeding like a stuck pig.

And so I took my first trip ever in an ambulance. I persuaded the EMTs to permit me to walk out of the house, but I was then loaded onto the gurney and got a ride with all the bells and whistles. An anxious JT stayed behind with sb and they did a terrific clean-up job while I was at the ER.

Within the hour, a magical clotting medicine was applied to my gusher of a leg, I got a tetanus shot, signed on the dotted line and was cut loose. JT and sb picked me up and carried me and my impressive new bandage home.

All I can say about the day is that I fittingly waited until all of my chores were complete before I staged my bloody drama. And when you think about it, that's just like me.