Nine Year Boy Sought for Light Duty

Must be able to shuck corn (note: the previously successful applicant was a born and bred cornhusker, so the bar is high).

Perform forbidden headstands on the sofa.

Willingness to stage art projects in the front yard.

The successful applicant must be willing to pet sassy cats who insist on sitting on his lap.

Job is heavy on the hours required, light on the allowance. Generous fringe benefits include a lifetime provision of guacamole tacos and fudgesicles, a warm soft bed, good books, excellent Halloween costumes, laughter, and the adoration of a doting Mama.

The post has been vacant for 10 days and needs immediate staffing.

I've quite bravely endured the quiet that has filled my home in the last week but enough is enough. I expect the boy to return home this afternoon. Whomever it was who said "absence makes the heart grow fonder,'" must have been the mama of a nine year old boy.

Note: I have tried - repeatedly - to standardize the font on this post. But Blogger does not love me today........I'll try again when I have more patience for trouble-shooting.