Embracing Age

I have very dark hair and a few years back, when grey hairs started to arrive, I added highlights.  For the most part, I didn't look back.  Every once in a while, faced with the rather daunting cost of professional highlighting, I would pause and ask myself if all this nonsense was worth it.  Then I would spend the money and highlight away.

Two years ago, summer arrived and I fell behind on the highlighting.  As I was dragging my feet to make the hair color appointment, I caught a glimpse of my hair in the rear view mirror and realized that it really wasn't the dark color that it had always been.  The highlights had turned my hair much lighter; I was no longer a dark brunette.  But I prefer the darker color.  In that moment, I reversed course and let the highlights grow out.  Secretly, I hoped that I'd have a nice grey streak worthy of Cruella DeVille.  Instead, I managed the natural color of a women in her mid-40s…dark brown with streaks of grey. 

It's been an experiment in aging honestly.  It turns out that isn't so easy.  In a nation of women who fight aging, a woman who has decided to be comfortable in her own skin seems to be a discomfiting notion.   My hair stylist advises that I should cover it up; she sees it as part of routine maintenance (you change the oil in your car, she reasons, and you also cover your grey hairs).  A few folks have issued some sly asides.  Though I've had the occasional pause, for the most part, I was committed to aging honestly

Then, last week, as we were watching presidential candidates on the telly, JT noted the color of Mitt Romney's hair, commenting that he had no idea Mr. Romney was so old.  Interested, I asked how old JT thought Romney was.  "I don't know," the boy said.  "But look at all that grey hair.  He must be old!"

I'm the last person to defend Mitt Romney, and 11 year old boys should hardly be the judge of much.  But I was interested to note just how negatively JT reacted to grey hair.  In that moment, I decided that aging honestly wasn't just about me being comfortable with myself.  It is about teaching my son that there's a beauty in truthful aging that no bottle of hair color can ever hope to better.