When I first became a single mama, in the enveloping sadness that followed I found that the prospect of future happiness suddenly felt elusive. I missed the ability to look into a future of assumed happiness. Over time, I came to appreciate my immediate blessings. My world felt more fragile but I found a way forward to moments of happiness. As my heart healed, I once again came to see a future with happiness at the core. That was a blessing for many reasons but especially because it gave me the chance to once again dream of the future.
It’s tricky to always look forward to happiness because it puts me at risk for failing to appreciate the here and now. I’m especially aware of this conundrum now, as JT applies for college and I prepare to send him from the nest. Last week, my parents visited. These days, time in their company always reminds me of the rapid passage of time.
In the midst of a Senior year which seems to be all about JT’s future, I’m more determined than ever to enjoy the here and now; to appreciate the moments at hand. The future gets it fair share of our thoughts and imagination but in the here and now there is the beauty of happiness to be found. I plan to claim it.
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