This Will Pass

This afternoon as I was walking into a store, a mother and her middle-school aged daughter were leaving.  Their faces were lined with stress and they were clearly unhappy with one another and as they walked past me, I heard the mother say,”I know you are frustrated but you don’t get to speak to me that way.”

I know exactly how both of them felt in that moment; middle school is often a hard age for kids and parents alike and I could well-imagine the tone the daughter had used toward her mother; you could certainly hear mom’s frustration in her voice.  At the same time, I know well the feeling of being 12 or 13 and wanting to be taken seriously and be heard even as wild and inexplicable emotions spin their way through one’s heartland mind.

I wish I could have stopped them and said, “this will pass.”  To the daughter I would say, “she loves you unconditionally even when you don’t feel it.  Take a deep breath and try to be patient.”  To the mother I would say, “she’ll be out of your house and away at college in less than six years.  I know it seems like a lifetime away but it’s not.  Tread lightly; she needs you now more than it seems.”

I didn’t say any of this because I live in New Jersey and no one at the door of Michael’s Craft Store on a blustery Sunday is looking for unsolicited advice from anyone, let alone a stranger.  But I’ve thought of that mother and daughter all afternoon and I hope they found their way forward together today and for the next few years.