Thursday, May 03, 2018

On Teeth and Time


I suddenly became a single mama on a Friday in June in 2006.  Much of that first year remains a blur of heartache, though there are a few stories that are vivid in my mind.  One of them has to do with the first tooth that JT lost.  That June, he had a few loose teeth that he’d been worrying with his tongue for weeks.  Then, well past 10 pm on a Saturday night, his first tooth fell out of his mouth.  He was euphoric and excited about what the Tooth Fairy would bring.  I was horrified because the only money I had on hand was some pocket change and a $20 bill.  Going to the zippy mart with a tired 6 year old to break the $20 wasn’t an option.  So I tucked the $20 and a note from the tooth fairy under a sleeping JT’s pillow late that night. At the time, it seemed like yet another unnecessary reminder of the loss that landed me in single parenthood.  

The next morning he was thrilled beyond measure by his good fortune.  He barely read the Tooth Fairy’s note (it had a pointed explanation that $20 was only for a child’s first tooth with the information that subsequent teeth received smaller rewards).  JT, flush with riches, didn’t care about that.  He told anyone who would listen that the Tooth Fairy gave him $20 for his first tooth.  I would smile benignly as other parents looked at me like the big payout had broken some kind of sacred and secret parent agreement.  I kept the backstory to myself.

As time passed, the story of that first lost tooth makes me smile.  Though it started as yet another sad story of being a mama on my own, I now think of it as a story of redemption.  I survived those early years of being a mama-on-my-own by thinking fast and ignoring doubts, became strong on my terms, and then made a new family with T.  

Yesterday, my now 18 year old son lost his last teeth.  They were wisdom teeth and their removal was a surgical event complete with a post-surgical half-sedated JT repeatedly announcing that he felt great and asking the nurse and the doctor when he could start running again.  He talked so much after the surgery that the nurse kept needing to replace the bloody gauze; I finally got him to quiet down and then I carried him home.  We made an ice sling to keep the swelling at bay and started the Netflix.  


I've been a mostly-patient nurse and he's had pain killers, jello, milkshakes, yogurt, and scrambled eggs to eat.  Last night, the Tooth Fairy returned for her final visit.  She left $20, tucked under his pillow while he played video games.  I suspect that she's the sentimental type.






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