Ummm, well what would you have me say?

Last weekend, my ex suggested to me that I never say anything nice about her on my blog. Actually I started the blog before she hit the road and I did have some nice things to say about her then. Including the fact that I considered her the love of my life.

But it's certainly true that there haven't been loads of blog entries about how great it is that she walked out on my son and me or how happy I was to hear her tell me that she never loved me. And then there was the absolute delight I took in the discovery that she left my son and I for a woman she met at work. Because that felt great. To clear it up for those of you who were confused.....those things: not happy.

I'm saying this merely to note that this is my blog, and though I am hard-pressed to admit it, sometimes I am wrong. Not about my feelings, because if years of therapy have taught me anything, it's that my feelings are okay. But I do imagine there is another side to the break-up with the ex.

Maybe she'll get her own blog and write about it.

Real-Life Conversations: Sign of My Advanced Age

The backstory: I'm on the phone with the dee-jay for the Prom, confirming that they will be there and discussing the music playlist I had earlier sent to them.

DJ: Do you want the radio edits of the songs?

Me: Radio edits?

DJ (speaking in the patient tone used for the simple-minded): Yes, the downloadable versions of songs are sometimes different than what can be played on the radio.

Me (suddenly snapping to attention and joining the modern era): Oh yeah....yeah (envisioning the sound of the f-bomb being dropped on the Prom in surround sound)......play the radio edits.

So much for my liberal, free-speech ways.

Younger Men

Last weekend, in a fit of temporary insanity, I organized an end-of-school celebration for J.T. and 5 of his 1st grade classmates. We invited Krystalle to join the fun and she made the party a hit ------ helping to distribute pizza to the hungry masses, helping to quiet the shouting when we played the Pirates game, organizing the video show down, coordinating the arrangement of the sleeping bags, and generally ensuring that my last nerve didn't fly out the window.

And now that everyone in the first grade knows about JT's friend the college student, he's feeling like quite the Big Man on Campus.

Unclear on the Concept

In the U.K., there is talk of new security measures to be taken to prevent terrorists from getting organized and terrorizing. Prime Minister Tony Blair (who apparently doesn't understand the phrase "lame duck") has proposed to allow the police to stop people suspected of being up to no good and ask those potential bad guys who they are, where they've been and where they are going.

It could just be me, late in the school year and exhausted by life, but I'm no terrorist and I have no idea how in the hell I would answer these questions.

I'm just saying.

'Tis the Season

The weather has turned suddenly warm here in Jersey and the last days of school are in sight. All of this can only mean one very happy thing: flip flop season is upon us. The blue ones were called "prep school plaid." Duh. The red ones are just my style and they fell into my hands at a fabulous price. Had to have them both.

Bring on the summer fun.

Simple

There is an old Shaker hymn that sings "'Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free. 'Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be." I learned the hymn when I sang in my elementary school choir and I've never forgotten that line. It has often provided comfort to me in rough moments of life, reminding me what's truly important. When the Sunday Scribblings prompt this week was "simple" I thought about that hymn and the simple things that I most enjoy. And so I've made a list of my very favorite simple pleasures:

- the sound of my boy laughing
- sitting on my back deck drinking a warm cup of coffee on a cool morning
- the sound of the rain when it just starts to fall
- the smile on my boy's face when he does something well
- an ice cold glass of Coke
- the smell and feel of the dark woods
- my kittens curled up and peaceful at the foot of my bed
- holding hands with someone you love
- the sight of my son, freshly washed, in clean pajamas and asleep in his bed
- a new, soft cardigan sweater
- the dark, deep, green depth of the twilight in the spring

Surrender Monkeys?

A brand-spanking new CBS/New York Times poll is reporting that 63% of Americans want a timetable for withdrawal in Iraq for 2008. An even greater of percentage of folks (76%) believe that the war is going badly.

But amidst this, the Democrats in Congress have decided to send President Bush a Fiscal Year 2007 military budget addendum that gives him the war money he wants without a timetable or benchmarks for American withdrawal in Iraq. This bill will fund Bush's war until September 2007. The FY 2008 budget, which must be approved by October 1 of this year is a battle yet to be fought.

I hope that when the time comes for that political showdown the Democrats are organized and ready to cut Bush off. I'm not convinced that a timetable is the way to go; I prefer benchmarks for withdrawal. At the same time, I fear that without a timetable this war will drag endlessly on and more lives --- American and Iraqi --- will be lost. There is no question in my mind that we created the nightmare that is present-day Iraq. And I am equally convinced that our continued presence only exacerbates the crisis. I understand that the Democrats cannot get a veto-proof vote right now and that a budget must be fixed so that the Congress can move on to other pressing business. I understand that the larger budget battle, the one for FY 08, is yet to come. I hope that when that battle arrives, veto-proof or not, the Democrats and their leadership hold their ground and force President Bush to accept a bill that demands a winding-down of the American presence in Iraq. Otherwise, the Democrats risk being yet another cog in Bush's war machine. We must do better than that.

This Test is Worth Points

Because my students are sometimes obsessed with the number of points they might potentially earn for their assignments, their tests, or just breathing, I try to make it a point to note on every assignment just how many points it's worth.

But every once in a while I write "this test is worth points" on the instructions, intending to fill in the actual number of points before I print and copy the whole thing, and then I forget to fill in the number. The students are exasperated by this and they don't think it's funny. But I am amused when it happens.

Why does this matter? My frosh are taking a test today, their last one before their final exam, and I am so tempted to write "this test is worth points" and deliberately not fill in the number.

It will torture them.

But it will amuse me.

It's a fine line here. And I'm probably going to cross it.

Senior Prank

Today is the last day of Senior classes at my school and the Senior prank was to lock all the lockers in the school (excepting their own of course) with those plastic tags that electricians carry around (my sister, a prankster herself, says they are called zip ties). We're all waiting now to see how the Frosh, Sophomores, and Juniors handle the news that they can't get into their lockers after 2nd period.

Things I Can't Explain to My Students

My school is racially diverse. I wouldn't say that I take it for granted, exactly, but after five years it's just one of the daily facts of life in my world. And because the students are so comfortable with themselves and one another, it's easy to forget their cultural backgrounds.

Then I show them "Journeys with George," the documentary about the 2000 primary election. The film documents the fact that the Republican candidates all make the requisite appearance at Bob Jones University in South Carolina. And I have to explain why BJU is controversial. But I gamely try, only to look out at 14 faces who are utterly incredulous to hear that there are still places which oppose interracial dating. In states that still fly the Confederate flag (or at least did in 2000).

And in that moment, I feel two things. The first is a feeling that we've failed them. How can it be that the adults have delivered them a world that still has such backward, foolish ideas about race? But then I feel comforted about the future. Because these kids won't stand for such nonsense. They won't have it and we'll all be better off because of that.