February Book Report: In Praise of Miss Read

On the first day of this month, I woke up early and as I lay in the darkness I remembered to say “white rabbit, white rabbit” before I got out of bed.  I won’t say that I expected good luck to join me for the month, though I did hope as much.  Alas, that is not how the day played out.

Most of my plans for February were set aside so that I could fly West and spend time with my family, and especially take time with my mom.  To look after my own heart, I turned to my favorite Miss Read books, Changes in Fairacre and Thrush Green.  These series are beloved favorites for me, stories that I have read again and again.  I find friendship and familiarity in the lives of the characters who live in these imaginary places.  

Changes in Fairacre takes place just past the midpoint of the Fairacre series and is full of reminders about the comforts still to be found amidst the fragility of life.  As Miss Read settles into the cottage she has inherited after the death of her dear friend Dolly Clare, she remembers her with a sweet fondness, and determines to move forward to enjoy life.  It was a message that was especially timely for me this month.

Thrush Green is the first of the Thrush Green series and I first read it in the Summer of 2006, a very hard time for me.  That year, the book was a great comfort.  When I reread it now, it’s both a comfort and a reminder of how strong I can be when the need arises.

These familiar novels were the backbone of my reading this month.  They were both companion and comfort as I thought about my Dad and the fragility of life.  Being strong when it’s called for is my superpower.  In my favorite books, I find the strength that I need to see me through the hard parts of life.

Willing Spring Into Existence

Despite the mild Winter, I was ready for warmth when my California family needed me earlier this month.  It’s been years since I visited my hometown in February and it was lovely, with sunshine and temperatures in the 60s most days.  The skies were clear enough to see the snow-capped Sierra Nevada mountains to the east of town and they were unbelievably splendid. 

I’ve been back in New Jersey a week now and, as expected, it was a return to Winter temperatures.  There is snow in the forecast for Tuesday, the last day of February. But March is in sight and the taste of warmth earlier this month has me ready to declare Sassafras Spring sooner rather than later.  I can’t will the warm weather to begin, but I can pull on a pink sweater and power through the last days of Winter and I will do just that.  My pride will keep me warm.

As February Closes

As is my habit, I created a February word graphic.  For a short month, there was a lot packed in to some bittersweet days.  I’ve had all the feelings and then some and I'll leave them here for now.

Cooking Journal - Supper Guests

With T’s departure, I once-again embraced hosting friends for supper at my house.  I love planning and cooking for a dinner party on a Saturday night and I am glad to return to hosting guests.  

In the past few months, I’ve served a few new recipes and cooked up some old favorites. This week, we’ll celebrate JT’s birthday with some special suppers: he’s requested chicken tacos and fried chicken, two of his favorites that I am always happy to make.  I’ve made a list with ideas for hosting more people in the coming months - game nights, a tea party, backyard cookouts.  It’s all on the table and that’s very happy.  

Headed Home

I’ve been in California since the 2nd of the month, to be with my family after my dad’s death and to spend some extra time with my mom as she navigates this next chapter in her world.  She’s a trooper, as my sister and I expected, but it’s a big change for her.  This time has been a blessing, as I helped her with some practical tasks and took the time to remind her of her own strengths as she plans for her future.  I head back home to New Jersey this morning confident that my mom will be okay and I’m looking forward to being home. 

My house is my favorite place in the world, a blessing beyond compare in my daily life.  It’s welcoming and cozy; my always lovely place to land and refresh my spirit.  It’s the place with my front porch, my plants, and my books, the things that feed my soul on a daily basis.  I’m ready to see JT, to see Lucy Cat in her sunny basket (and, if we’re honest, to entertain her grievances about my absence, a process that may last a few weeks).  I’m ready to prop my feet on my ottoman, make a pot of tea, rest my head on my cool pillow under the down comforter in my soft bed, and sip my morning cup of coffee as I admire the dawn sky from my back window. 

Home is where my heart is and I’ll be so glad to step through the front door tonight.

Monthly Gratitude: A Valentine for Myself

Valentine’s Day can be a sucker punch if you are single, a reminder of one’s solitary status and a gate opening into some potentially difficult and unforgiving feelings.  Some years I have dreaded the day.  The last few months have been, ahem, eventful in my life so I approached the 2023 Valentine season with some wariness.  

When I was a kid, my mom treated it as a family holiday and I can remember special suppers and getting a Valentine card.  I determined to create that vibe this year and made it a day about sending love into the universe while being kind to myself. 

I am still in California helping my mom after the death of my dad and so I made sure to bring her a Valentine and a treat. We made a special supper together and because playing cards is our love language, we played cards.  I saved the heart earrings I received for Christmas to wear this month, a tiny reminder that I am worthy and loved. 

I made donations to causes I believe in, including Partners in Health and Doctors Without Borders, to support their efforts at easing the difficulties of people around the world.  A few weeks ago, I made Valentines for some friends. I planned to deliver them yesterday but I will drop them off for friends when I get home later this month.

Daily, I issue a reminder to be as kind toward myself as I try to be toward the people I love.  That's a self-care a skill I’ve had to nurture over the years.  I can’t say that the day passed with no regrets but I can write that the day landed gently.  Given the last year in my world, I’ll take it.

Sunlight, Warmth, and Daffodils

I’m in California right now, my second visit in so many months.  I came to see my family and to stay with my mom for a bit as she sorts out life without my dad.  I’ve missed the second patch of extreme cold in New Jersey by being in California in February and it must be said that I’d truly forgotten how beautiful my home town is at this time of year.  It’s been warm - mostly in the 60s - and there has been sunshine and skies clear enough to enable me to see the Sierra Nevada mountains nearly every day.  The daylight is lasting a bit longer with each sunrise and that’s been very nice as well.  

Spring is my favorite season, always.  The slow arrival of blooms and greenery feels like a yearly unearned miracle unfolding before my eyes; each day bringing us something new to admire.  Even a mild Winter, like the one we’ve mostly experienced in New Jersey this year, is cold.  As it drags on, I long for the easy days of warmer weather and my joy in the arrival of Spring is always unmeasured and unbound.

Being in California now is, of course, a respite from our cold.  That I’m here helping my mother to transition to life without her husband of 58 years is a reminder that our time on earth passes quickly.  But there is sunshine and daffodils have begun to bloom, two things my dad would have enjoyed, and I take comfort in that.

Style Journal - Living Room Update

My living room furniture was already well-used when the pandemic struck.  The extra time at home hastened its demise.  T didn’t want to buy new furniture while we still had a cat in the home and there was some logic to that argument, though it left us with worn out and increasingly uncomfortable furniture.  When she left, so did the logic that kept me from nice furniture in my living room.  To me, a home needs to be comfortable and cozy and the furniture should help to create that vibe.  So it is that I have a new sofa, chair, and ottoman. 

The old sofa was chocolate brown, which was warm and cozy in the Winter but felt rather dark in the Summer.  

The new furniture is in shades of blue - my favorite color - and I am incredibly pleased with how it fits in the room.  Things are still cozy for the Winter and in the Summer I think that the room will feel more cool.

I will spend a whole lot of time reading in this comfortable corner of the room, surrounded by my books and the light from the windows. 

There are new pillow covers and window treatments to accompany the furniture.  My mom made the valences out of fabric from Rifle Paper, which I love.  There was enough left over for some extra pillow covers, and my handy seamstress ran those up for me. 

Lucy’s window corner got an updated rug that brings me a smile every time I pass by. 

This room is very much an expression of me and it makes me glad to be at home.  I am best pleased by it all. 

Thoughts of Spring

Toward the end of January, a colleague mentioned that we were through the first month of Winter and I was caught up short and not a little appalled to consider that Spring was officially still two months away.   I take  a meteorological approach to the seasons and as soon as December arrives, I consider it Winter.  Since this first month of Winter is accompanied by twinkly lights and holiday celebrations, it’s lovely.

My approach has the convenient effect of making the long January, with its dark, grey skies and cold days, the second month of my Winter.  February is the third month of Winter and with only 28 days, that feels like a win.  Soon enough, March has arrived and I can declare Spring, so I do just that.  

The calendar and Mother Nature don’t always see it my way, of course, but that doesn’t get me down.  I want Spring and that is that.  I shall have it come the 1st of March, no matter the temperature outside.

Among the Trees: Natirar

To date, we’ve not had snow this Winter.  January brought a lot of cloudy gray days, but the cold hasn’t really been unbearable.  After all, it’s Winter and that means cold weather.  Rain has replaced the snow and when I took a walk in the woods at Natirar Park last weekend, the effects of the rain could be seen in the full stream that runs through the park. 

The sound of a busy little stream while I walk in the woods is one of the nicer parts of life in New Jersey, a balm as I wait out the cold and live in hope for the first signs of Spring.

My Dad

 

My father died on Wednesday, February 1.  If you knew Wayne McMillen, you knew…. 

His grandsons hung the moon.

His wife Carol was his little chickadee or his old crow….he could never remember which. 

He looked out for people who needed help - always -  and he thought you should do the same. 

His work ethic was strong and believed that a job worth doing was worth doing well. 

He was unmatched in his mastery of profanity. 

He told a great story and laughed often. 

He shot the moon - successfully - every damn time he played Hearts with you. 

His garden was beautiful, always, but his tomatoes will be better next year. 

He had an encyclopedic knowledge of baseball and thought St. Louis would win it all this year.

He advised that you "don't take any wooden nickels."

He called you Jocko if you made an error on the sporting field and he was not amused. 

That “can’t never does”. 

That he cared deeply and was much beloved.

That his daughters are loud and bossy and now you know why. 

Think of him when you admire a flower in the garden, enjoy a tomato still warm from the sun, set up a tent in the woods, and laugh at good story.  He’d want it that way. 

February 1: Ursula the Aloe

I have a friend who names all of her houseplants.  Lest you conclude that she only has three or four plants, I hasten to report that she has nearly as many houseplants as I do.  I am impressed by her naming game.  Most of my plants don’t have names but a few do and this month’s plant certainly does.  Internet, please meet Ursula.

Three years ago, Ursula lived in this blue pot and she was only slightly larger than the aloe that lives here today.  

The plant currently in this modest blue pot is an offshoot from Ursula (a pup…that is seriously what they are called).  Her name is Avril.  Keeping Avril was risky given how Ursula has grown.  But I can’t say no to a plant, so here we are.  

In the Winter, Ursula lives in the living room, next to the radiator and on a plant stand so that she can be easily moved should such a need arise.  She’ll relocate to the front porch come Spring.  But no matter where she lives, Ursula is impressive, if prickly.  Though she’s something of an inconvenient companion, I just can’t bring myself to give her up.