Sunday, March 31, 2019

March Book Report: The Wife, book two of Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset



I prefer happy stories.  Happy in this case is loosely defined to mean a book that is not filled with terror, unremitting anxiety, or endless misery.  It’s not relentlessly happy, of course, because life isn’t relentlessly happy.  But it does lean toward happy, a characteristic that I really prefer in a book.  I picked up a trio of books by Sigrid Undset.  Together, the three novels are called Kristin Lavransdatter; all three novels center on the life of Kristin, first as a girl, then a young married woman becoming a mother, and in the third novel as mature married woman and mother.  

Set in 15th century medieval Norway, the book is a collection of three novels about the life of Kristin, the beloved daughter of a prosperous Norwegian squire.  She grows up in the mountains near modern-day Lillehammer, and ultimately marries a man from further north in Trondheim.  I’ve read the first two novels in the series and this month’s review is about the second book, The Wife.

Undset wrote the novel in  the 1920s; it was a major factor in her receipt of the 1928 Nobel prize for Literature.  The book is a genuine masterpiece, with an epic sense of historical time in the life of one women, Kristin.  Kristin is neither singular nor distinct; though she does defy the social norm of the day to marry a man her father is not convinced will be a good husband.   Kristin is a rich and complex woman who is both a creature of her historical time and also admirable in modern terms.  Undset’s knowledge of precise details of Norwegian medieval life and history is vast and impressive and enriches the tale.  Much of the story in The Wife involves Kristin becoming a mother (of seven sons!) and coming to terms with a marriage she desperately desired but finds to be more difficult than she imagined.  The book is rich with Norwegian history and the role of the Christian religion in the lives of medieval Norwegians.  As Kristin sorts out the complexities of getting her heart’s desire, the reader sorts out the complexities of the history of women’s lives.

I’ve been reading a number of books about women’s lives in historical terms and this book fit nicely into that canon.  I’ve been struck over and over by the boundaries of a woman’s world, both in terms of history and in the modern context.  From the influence of marriage and motherhood on the lives of historical women to modern conversations about girls’ bodies and the clothing they wear, to my observations about the ways in which the women seeking the 2020 presidency must position themselves and are treated by the mainstream media, I am struck by the power of the boundaries of women’s lives.  The first two Kristin Lavransdatter books found me thinking about those boundaries, then and now, and I look forward to reading the third novel in this splendid collection.


Thursday, March 28, 2019

Dogwood Day: March 28


A quick look at my garden journal from recent years reveals that the dogwood won’t get serious about showing off its flowers until late April.  Sometimes, May has arrived before the flowers show themselves.  But it’s been sunny and warm for the last few weeks and I suspect this year will bring earlier blooms.  One thing is clear: I am ready to start the dogwood watch!


The buds are present in abundance, still tight against the cold nights.


I see the potential for dogwood flowers here and I am so very excited for the coming season of blooms.



Wednesday, March 27, 2019

New Jerseyans at Costco


On Monday afternoon, I headed to Costco at 3 pm.  I was pleased that I had avoided the weekend crowds and I naively assumed that the day’s Costco run would be easy-peasy.

Ha.

It would seem that at my local Costco, Monday is senior citizen day.  It was a feisty and argumentative crowd the filled the store on Monday.  I am a youthful 51 and, I note, well-behaved in public places.   But that was not the theme of the day.  I noted the following:

1.  The Costco parking lot often achieves maximum cart crimes, with people abandoning their empty cart in the lot rather than walking it over to the cart rack.  But Monday brought something new.  I watched an older couple park their car, get out, and promptly move nearby abandoned carts into the empty space next to their car, so that no one could park next to them.  

2.  Once inside, there was the usual array of snacks available and I watched a woman attempt to sneak herself a pair of plastic gloves from one of the food displays.  When the Costco employee objected, the lady aggressively explained that she wanted a napkin.  Costco employee was having none of that and voices were raised.  I wheeled away.

3.  I made my way toward the back of the warehouse for a visit to the cheese aisle, only to be struck by a number of folks milling around the roasted chicken section.  New chickens were coming off the roaster and in typical Jersey style, folks were jostling with their carts to get toward the front of the line.  Then they were taking two chickens; one woman even sought three.  Those who found themselves at the back of the roasted chicken line commenced loud complaining, demanding a two-chicken limit.  With no plans to secure a roasted chicken and concerned about the tenor of the chicken patrons, I headed to the refrigerator to bulk-buy ultra-pasteurized half and half for my coffee.

4.  The checkout lines were busy because….Costco.  But I chose one, only to discover there was a hold up.  While the clerk waited for the manager, the people ahead of me in line began to defect.  But instead of going to the end of another line, I watched a woman with a full cart shove her way into the next line over.  The folks in line and I watched, incredulous, as she cut the line from the side.  When the clerk asked who was next, she claimed her stolen spot while the rest of us silently observed.  Only when she began to actually unpack her cart did the judgement and complaining ensue.  But the line-cutter was stoic, raising her chin defiantly and refusing to yield.  The people now behind her in line muttered under the breath and cast her character into doubt for the whole of her transaction.  She didn't give a damn.

When I finished, I left the store, emptied my cart into my car, returned it to the cart rack (!), and carefully eased my way out of the parking lot and into the traffic for my drive home.  It was not our finest community display, that’s for damned sure.

Monday, March 25, 2019

Our Mueller Time Hangover


Like so many people, I had hopes that the findings of the Mueller Report would motivate Republicans to finally ask some serious questions about their president.  We should have known better.

With the caveat that Congress and the American public must have the opportunity to actually read the report, instead of  the Trump-appointee’s brief summary,  the fact is that getting rid of Trump was never going to be as easy as one report.  That is the case because Trump is not a single-faceted problem with an easy solution.  No matter what the Mueller report reveals, here is what we know and have known since the moment Trump took office, if not before:

1.  The president is a lying, sexist, racist, and deeply ignorant man who heads a Republican party that is chiefly governed by a win-at-all-costs mindset oriented toward voter suppression.

2.  He is happily enriching himself at our expense while in office.

3.  He used campaign funds to pay off women with whom he had affairs while he was married.

4.  He came to power by winning the Electoral College, an outdated and undemocratic system that we have ignored for far too long despite the fact that we’ve been burned by it before (looking at you, 2000).

Nothing Robert Mueller reports on will change these facts.  Ridding ourself of the disaster that is Donald Trump and his racist political party was never going to be as easy as one report.  It requires that we organize and motivate ourselves to do the hard work of recognizing how we got here and making the systematic changes that will position us to move forward with competitive political parties and a functional and democratic system of government of which we can be justifiably proud.  It’s necessary work; it won’t come easy.  But it is the only path forward.


Friday, March 22, 2019

Some Inspiration When I Need It


I enjoy Twitter.

There, I’ve admitted it.

I don’t read it for celebrity gossip or political conspiracies.  I mostly follow a combination of political leaders whom I respect, academics, and humorists.  I follow a few sources of reliable news and I’m not afraid to unfollow someone who I deem unkind or stupid.  I don’t have a lot of expectations about Twitter but over the last few years I have discovered this: some tweets have the power to make me think, to make my daily life nicer; to make me nicer.  Foremost among the sources of the sorts of gems which make life better is Lin-Manuel Miranda.

His tweets are invariably kind.  I like them and I especially like the world view they demonstrate.  He often frames his gems as morning greetings or a close to the evening.  They are sweet and thoughtful poetry that read as genuine and real.  When I need a pep talk, they are just a few clicks away on Twitter and that makes my world brighter.   A sampling from Miranda’s tweets in the past few weeks is as reflective as any other.

“Be a little nicer than maybe you feel like being.”

“Be who you are.  
Do what you can. 
Know you are beloved.”

“Take what you need.  
Give what you can. 
Know you are loved beyond measure.”

“Gmorning to your dreams, joyous and modest and terrifying and guilt-inducing and liberating and maybe as simple as “easier than yesterday” which is plenty for a dream, absorb what you can use and let’s go.”

“Loving you today.  
Believing in the possibility of a more peaceful, just and humane world.  
Each of us has a part.  
Let’s get to it!”

“Gnight. 
If you love ‘em, tell ‘em you love ‘em. 
Love you. 
Rest up.”

“Gnight.  
That imaginary fight you keep having in your head…call if off.
You’ve gone so many rounds.
You need your head and your heart for bigger things.
WE need your head and your heart for bigger things.
Rest up champ.”

“Gnight.
Sing out in the key that feels right for you.”

Some messages are a refrain he repeats because they are worth repeating.  On the morning of the horrible shooting in New Zealand, he tweeted:

“Gmorning.  If you love ‘em, tell ‘em you love ‘em.  As the world keep making heartbreakingly clear, tomorrow’s schedule is always in pencil.  Tell ‘em you love ‘em while they’re here.  Tell ‘em you love ‘em while you’re here.  Love you. Let’s go.”

Lin-Manuel Miranda surely doesn’t need me to boost his already enormous signal.  He gets this.  His words are modest and heartfelt and they should be echoed.  They are invariably kind; they are often funny; they cheer us on as they lean toward hope.  They are a reminder of our common humanity; of how much comfort, happiness, and progress can multiply when they are shared.  Through his words, it feels like I know the man.  I cheer him on because I feel like he cheers us on.  In a world that can sometimes disappoint, his words lift us up.  

That’s happy; really happy.


Thursday, March 21, 2019

Doppelgänger


When he was 4, JT picked up a picture of me as a child and asked me why he was wearing a dress.  That memory came to mind this week when I was cleaning out closets and cubbies and came across a collection of school pictures from my childhood.  It would seem that kindergarten was no laughing matter.


I’ve always known that JT looks like me but this picture really drove the point home.  When I set it alongside a picture of JT at the same age I was amused, even if age 4 JT was simply tolerating having his picture made.


A much larger boy than this has been home from college this week and we’ve hung out, watched (and judged!) endless episodes of House Hunters, played cards, and generally relaxed.  He’s let me feed him and I’ve used his strength to get some house chores done.  On Sunday, he heads back to school for the outdoor track season and the last 8 weeks of classes.  Then his first year of college will be in the books.  And my mind will still be spinning, wondering at the rapid passage of time.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Spring!


Though I like all of Mother Nature’s seasons, I greet the arrival of Spring with a giddy happiness that surprises me each year. When the days lengthen and my spirits pick up, I’m reminded anew that Spring really is my favorite season.  It’s chirping birds, sunlight, blooms in a cheery array of colors, trees with unfurling leaves, and fresh green everywhere I look. We're just at the start of the season and I have to look carefully to see the signs, but they are present everywhere, as in the tight buds of my backyard dogwood tree.


Last year, Spring arrived on schedule but with it came the ever-more-sure realization that my time as a full-time mama was coming to a close.  That development filled me with anxiety; at times it was hard for me to enjoy the season, which felt less like a beginning than an end.  I feared that I wasn’t ready.  Fast forward a year and I’ve had the time to adjust to my new status as mama of a college boy.  Better than that, it turns out that anticipation of his departure was far worse than the actual departure.  The year has been good.  He’s been happy at school; I’ve been happy at home.  So this Spring, I’m determined to embrace the season with no lingering anxiety about the changes coming my way.   Living in the moment is my biggest challenge and I’m prepared to take it on.

We’ve had a nice patch of sunshine and more signs of Spring arrive each day.  The peach tree is getting ready.


It is a treat to step out in the sunlight and see what the day’s sunshine and warmth has brought forth.  Welcome Spring!



Monday, March 18, 2019

It’s the White Nationalism, of Course


From the moment I heard news of Friday’s mosque violence in New Zealand, I assumed that the shooting was driven by white nationalism.  Information about the shooter’s manifesto confirmed that suspicion.  Nothing has subsequently shaken it.

We have a problem with white nationalism in this world and especially in the United States.  It’s dangerous and made far worse by those with a stubborn unwillingness to recognize it.  Racism and the preferences of privilege permeate so many of our institutions and we struggle to consistently recognize and confront it.  When we do that, we place those institutions and our nation at risk.  In that atmosphere, white nationalism flourishes and increasingly explodes, as it did in Friday's mosque shooting.

For New Zealand, the shooting seems to be a moment of cultural epiphany; a chance for that nation to have an honest conversation about guns and nationalism.  Good for them.  The United States has had plenty of opportunities to also have an honest conversation about the power of right-wing white nationalism in our politics, but we steadfastly refuse to have that conversation.  From Timothy McVeigh in Oklahoma, to the Emanuel AME Church shooting in South Carolina, to last fall’s Tree of Life Synagogue shooting, the overwhelming evidence that white nationalism is alive and well in this nation is there. When we refuse to recognize it and call it out, we set ourselves up for more of this ugly and racist violence.

So let’s call it what it is, confront white nationalism every time we see it, and condemn it without qualification.  Only then can we move forward to do the work and fulfill the promise of the equality we claim for ourselves.  It’s not too late for us to do this work but every time we refuse to acknowledge the truth we put ourselves ever closer to a tipping point from which we cannot recover.

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Signs of the Season


As soon as March arrives, I am on the search for signs of Spring in my garden and yard.  I wouldn’t say it’s obsessive, but I check every day, so……

The benefit of this daily search for new growth is that eventually a happy 24 hours will arrive.  One day I look and see nothing peaking through the soil. And then the next day…….


The next day brings tulips peaking through a patch of grass in the front yard.  I planted these bulbs several years ago and they will bloom with splendid yellow tulips sometime in April.  In the flowerbed by the driveway, there is more evidence of life.



The ivy still looks cold and tired but it won’t be long before it turns a lush and brilliant green.  


Over my Spring Break, I will clean out flowerbeds all over my garden to prepare them for the coming warm season.  Soon enough, there will be floral treats to behold each morning.  That’s happy!

Friday, March 15, 2019

Bring Me the Spring Break


It’s been a busy week, as the week before Spring Break always seems to be.  It’s easier to cram days full when I know a break is coming and though I always vow to myself that next year will be different, here we are.

JT gets on a train later today and will be home tonight to sleep in his own bed.  The cats know something is up because I’ve made sure his bed is ready to receive him.  The day promises to be busy but I’m looking forward to a week off so I have a happy spirit and when 3:05 arrives, my spirit will be even lighter.

Here we go………

Monday, March 11, 2019

Sunlight


On the heels of my Friday declaration of Spring, Saturday brought a mild day.  There was sunlight and temperatures in the 50s; the sort of day that makes me believe in good in this world.  All over my town, people went out for a walk.  We were like bears emerging from our Winter dens, blinking in the sunlight and tentatively willing to believe that we could leave our scarves and mittens inside.

The time change followed on the heels of the sunny Saturday and while I don’t enjoy the inky mornings, I do rather enjoy the longer afternoons.  The knowledge that sunlight is being added to each day brings me such a feeling of promise and hope.  Spring is always lovely this way; a blessing earned simply because I’m alive.

That’s happy!


Friday, March 08, 2019

I Declare Spring!


I woke up giddy this morning and not just because it was Friday.  Friday is nice, of course, but the real source of my happiness is the arrival of my personal Spring.  It starts today because today I have had enough of Winter tights, and dark colors, and wool sweaters.  Just a few months ago, those wool sweaters were cozy and warm.  Now they are scratchy and bulky and all things horrible.

Because I have declared the arrival of Spring. 

Today, I’m wearing Spring clothes because I have had enough of Winter.  I’m not a complete fool, so I have a sweater (but it's lilac and feels like Spring), but Spring clothes are in the closet and I’m not going back to Winter.  It’s Spring for me and it will remain Spring until Summer chases it away.  By then there will be blooms, green leaves, a garden to plant, a warm front porch, and flip flops. But all of that can wait because Spring is at hand.

Spring is proof we are alive.  Spring is the reward for all the indignities of the other seasons.  It is birds chirping, flower bulbs peaking through the cold soil, dogwood blooms, blue skies, unbound joy, and a reason to love the universe.  And for me it starts today.

The forecast, by the way, calls for temperatures to just hint at 40.  So it’s mainly my pride that will keep me warm.

Spring Bedding


The arrival of March always signals the transition to Spring for me.  Invariably, the weather doesn’t cooperate with these fantasies but I pay it no mind and busily engage in my happy Spring traditions.  Among these is the swap from my Winter duvet to something more welcoming of the coming blooms.


I’m not a complete idiot and I know that the cold will linger (it was 9 degrees last night!) so the heavy down comforter is still tucked inside.  But it somehow feels more like Spring when I sleep under the ferns.


That’s happy!

Wednesday, March 06, 2019

The Daffodil Season


The year that JT was born, I treated myself to a $2 bunch of daffodils after I took him to the pediatrician’s office in the town next door.  When I see daffodils in the store I am reminded of those early days of motherhood.  They seemed to pass just as quickly as the daffodil season and though nights in the company of a baby who was wide awake can seem long, these days the memories of those weeks is precious.  I remembered them as I treated myself to a bouquet of sunny flowers when I was getting my groceries for this week.  The buds were tightly closed when I brought them home. But the flowers have all opened and the bouquet greets me in the dark and cold morning, a reminder that Spring is on its way.  



Monday, March 04, 2019

Lion Mode, Part 2


Despite my very deep desire to say goodbye to Winter, it’s clear that Mother Nature doesn’t feel the same.  


It snowed last night and though the temperature has inched above freezing, there is plenty of snow for me to shovel this morning.  School has a late start, which is nice.  


It would be nicer if Winter would take herself elsewhere.

Sunday, March 03, 2019

March Front Porch


Later this month, Spring officially begins.  I have already started to celebrate.  This month’s wreath is one I made from a paper flower kit and I have been so excited to set it out.  It went on the door on the morning of March 1st  


My plan was to finish the March front porch on Saturday.  I woke up to find that rather more snow than expected had fallen.  But that’s no deterence to a woman like me, governed as I am by more will than good sense.  Saturday brought the March porch out to play.  There is a table with Flopsy and Zip, a basket of greenery, and my silly Spring sheep.


There are fairy lights here that I turn on in the evening when I need a spot of good cheer.  Baaaa!


The flag welcomes warmer days and sunlight, Winter’s last gasps be damned.


I long to sit out on this porch and read a book.  Today is not that day; there is more snow forecast for the overnight hours.


But time is on my seasonal side and I will repeat that like it’s my mantra.

Saturday, March 02, 2019

In Like a Lion, Indeed


When I settled under the covers last night, it was thoughts of Spring that lulled me off to sleep: setting out a new month’s decor on the front porch, organizing my garden seed order for the starter plants I will put in the window later this month, Spring scarves and sweaters to organize in the closet, daffodil shoots just starting the slip out of the cold ground.  I drifted off with warm thoughts in my mind.


Fast forward 8 short hours later and Mother Nature and I are clearly not on the same page.


Not even a bit.

Friday, March 01, 2019

March 1: Fairy Garden


The weather may still be cold but the arrival of March is a most exciting development in this gardener’s imagination.  By the end of the month, there will be signs of Spring blooms everywhere and no matter what, Spring is always thrilling to behold.  At the moment, of course, there isn’t much to behold.


By the end of this month, I will have set out the mulch and the iron fence that marks off my Fairy Garden; the houses will follow in April.  In the meantime, March is an expectant month and I will keep watch for even the smallest sign of Spring.


That’s happy!