Valentine’s Day can be a sucker punch if you are single, a reminder of one’s solitary status and a gate opening into some potentially difficult and unforgiving feelings. Some years I have dreaded the day. The last few months have been, ahem, eventful in my life so I approached the 2023 Valentine season with some wariness.
When I was a kid, my mom treated it as a family holiday and I can remember special suppers and getting a Valentine card. I determined to create that vibe this year and made it a day about sending love into the universe while being kind to myself.
I am still in California helping my mom after the death of my dad and so I made sure to bring her a Valentine and a treat. We made a special supper together and because playing cards is our love language, we played cards. I saved the heart earrings I received for Christmas to wear this month, a tiny reminder that I am worthy and loved.
I made donations to causes I believe in, including Partners in Health and Doctors Without Borders, to support their efforts at easing the difficulties of people around the world. A few weeks ago, I made Valentines for some friends. I planned to deliver them yesterday but I will drop them off for friends when I get home later this month.
Daily, I issue a reminder to be as kind toward myself as I try to be toward the people I love. That's a self-care a skill I’ve had to nurture over the years. I can’t say that the day passed with no regrets but I can write that the day landed gently. Given the last year in my world, I’ll take it.
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