With luck, one month from today, I will be on the other side of the hip replacement surgery that has occupied my every thought since the pain first became constant last August. When I received a surgery date earlier this month, my heart opened up to the idea that I won’t have to live in the small world of crippling pain forever. The relief I feel at having a surgery date is palpable. Aside from the pain and disability of the last 6 months, the way the situation has untethered my general optimism has been hard to bear. It will be a good long while before I recover from the mental health disaster of draconian food restriction brought on by the requirement that I lose weight to receive medical treatment. Being denied much-needed healthcare because of weight, especially in the absence of scientific research to support such cruelty, is appalling. I don’t expect that I will ever again trust a doctor. When I have seen to my recovery, I intend to speak out about the injustice of the whole situation.
For now, I am focused on getting to my February 14 surgery date. And I am incredibly grateful to my son, my sister, my family members, and the friends who have helped me to get to this point and who will see me through to the other side of surgery. Their help and willingness to celebrate the surgery date have been an incredible bright spot in this very hard patch. My heart is full of gratitude for them, aware that I could not have made it this far alone.
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