January on the Porch

Evergreens are among the more vibrant outdoor color to be found in the winter and they are the theme for my porch in January.  While the Christmas lights are gone, the snowman flag remains because snow is still fun in January.  We’re not likely to sit out here this month and so the rest of the decorations are simple, in keeping with winter’s austerity.

On the table is an Etsy-find tablecloth with some baskets of pine cones and evergreens.

By the table next to the rocker, the place where I keep my iced tea and book in the warm weather season,  is another basket of evergreens.   It’s feels like a place marker for the outdoor-sitting months that will surely arrive.

The snow shovels, broom, and salt bin are less decorations and more practical items for the season’s snow and ice removal chores.  They stick around because so far we’ve needed them a lot this winter.  The front door is cheerful with a red berry wreath, calling us inside to the the warmth.  

That’s happy!

The Front Porch

A few years ago, I made it a goal to have a front porch worthy of the cover of Country Living magazine.  Though the magazine's photographer doesn't seem headed to my neighborhood any time soon, I think that my porch is a pleasantly welcoming entrance to Sassafras House and that's exactly what I had in mind, so the project is feeling like a success.  Each month, I change up some details of the porch because that sort of thing makes me happy.  This year, I have decided that I will post photos of the month's porch.  Today, you see the porch in a (mostly) bare form.  These pictures were made on January 2nd, in the bitter cold (it was 25 degrees with a breeze) and just in advance of a major snowstorm.  I wanted to leave the holiday lights up for the snow because twinkling lights and falling snow are an awesome combination.  Also, my labor force for light removal has a mouth and a Twitter account and might very well expose my labor practices if I ordered him out in such conditions.  But the lights are seasonal for Christmas and aren't always present.  The porch measures about 15x8 at its widest.  Below is the view to the right from the front steps.

The flag pole to the left is used most months of the year, sporting a different seasonal flag.

One side of the porch has a cast iron pedestal table that I inherited from a neighbor who was moving to Florida and didn't want to carry away her heavy front porch table.   The top of the table is lino (I have no idea who did that), but the bottom is lovely.  I cover it with round tablecloths that I find on sale racks and at Etsy shops.  I have quite a collection and, depending on the season, I add additional items to the table.

Near the table is a weatherproof box that I use for storing outdoor shoes and assorted porch detritus.  I used to use an open basket but for Christmas my parents gave me this tidy box and it’s a welcome addition to the porch.  This view also give you a sense of the expanse of the space.

Just by the front door is a built in cabinet for milk deliveries.  We don’t get milk at the front door anymore, so I use it for garden detritus.

The other side of the porch has a weathered rocker and a little table.  When the weather is nice, I sit out here to enjoy the outdoors.  For the winter, this corner of the porch also has my front yard flower boxes.  I have planted them with pink tulip bulbs and later this year they will be a first happy sign of spring.

We enter our home through an old-fashioned paned glass door that charmed me from the moment I first saw this house.   It's painted a smoky blue (Benjamin Moore's Alfresco) to match the shutters and trim on the house.  I hang a seasonal wreath on the door, but here is the blank canvas with the mailbox by its side.

The bare bones of the space now established, later this week I will post pictures of the porch decked out for January.  Then, each month, I'll post pictures of the month's porch updates.  Before we know it, outdoor sitting weather will have arrived.

My Ongoing Laura Ingalls Fantasy

One of the the things that T and I have in common is an interest in canning and food preservation.  Earlier this summer, we made strawberry jam.  It was delicious and we were hooked.  Soon after that, I bought some jar labels from Etsy and added mastery of home canning to my life list.  This past weekend, T and I made up a batch of peach jam.

Then we tried our hand at dilled green beans.

Jars of dill pickles followed.

Apricot jam was next.

If this commitment to homemade continues, it won't be long before I'm building my own log cabin and driving my horse and buggy to teach school in a one-room schoolhouse.  Somewhere in the attic, I can surely find the sunbonnet my mom made me for Halloween in the third grade.  Basically, I'm good to go.

Real Life Conversations with JT: Vote of No Confidence edition

The backstory: On Thursday evening, JT, T, and I were making plans for our Mega Millions lottery win (Update: we didn't win) and we agreed that we would buy an RV and hit the road for the year, driving to bunches of places that we would like to see.  JT was enthusiastic about the plan but concerned about his education.  I attempted to provide reassurance.

Mama:  Don't worry about the 7th grade buddy, I can home school you for the year.

JT (in a tone of great doubt):  You?  I think that we'd better bring along a tutor.

Nine years of college.  Nearly twenty years as a teacher at the high school and college level.  But my own son thinks I'm not quite up to the challenge.  Ouch.

Matters of the Heart

In the first years after the break-up of my relationship with JT's other mom, I floundered and struggled to find and like myself; to find meaning in this new life that was thrust upon me.  There were landmines everywhere, often when I least expected them, and I learned to be on guard against new ways of being hurt.  It was a game of sorts, one I had to play whether I wanted to or not.    I longed for a share of happiness in the love of another.  In equal measure I feared taking a chance to find it.  Such fears are pernicious and hard; they make no room for taking a risk to find joy.  So I built a life that walled off the prospect of a great love; a life that pretended such a love didn't matter to me.  It was a happy enough life, if not a fulfilled one.  I was managing.

Deep in my heart, I never gave up hope that love could find me.  I kept that wish under cover.  I'd experience a longing for it at such funny moments.   I'd see something and wish I had a sweetie to give such a token.  I'd ignore memories of places I loved because there was no one to share the laughter and joy of the place.  I'd avoid favorite stories of my past because they featured a jarring reminder of a life now gone.  I'd fill my own Christmas stocking with great care, knowing that I really wanted to fill one for a sweetie.  I'd plan out my childless weekend hours and have fun with friends.  I'd think that I had this new life mastered.  But then I'd come home to a quiet house and wonder if I could ever really master the emptiness.  I hoped to find a connection that clicked; the one that would allow me to the freedom to love back unrestrained, whole-heartedly, and with abandon.  I knew such things rarely fall into one's hands; I'd have to go looking.  But that was a scary prospect, one filled with risk I wasn't sure I could endure.  How much more happiness could I expect from life? 

Earlier this year, as spring made its annual claims on my heart's longings, I took the plunge and gave meeting people a try.  It would be fair to say that I was terrified and elated in equal measure.  And now I'm so very glad that I took that risk.  I've found her, the girl who makes my heart full.  She's amazing….funny, kind-hearted, happy, handy and with an amazing smile and a capacity to love back that leaves me breathless.  She brings me more joy than I ever imagined could exist for me.  And the biggest wonder of it all is that she loves me right back.   Her name is T and she'll be around life at Sassafras House a lot more often as fall arrives.  I'm looking forward to more laughter, more happiness, and a life that feels full and complete.

That's very, very happy.

Leaning Into Joy

One of the hazards of life for me has been the idea of uncertainty.  I'm not a pessimist, per se, but events of my past and my sadness about them conspired to encourage me to regard uncertainty more as potential danger than potential happiness.  I've worked hard on addressing that world view in the past two years.  Just putting living with less fear on my life list constituted progress because it meant I was able to openly acknowledge that specter's influence in my life.  A few months ago, I watched this Brene Brown TED talk and then used her words and ideas as a sort of talisman of personal bravery; of being whole-hearted.

I don't wish to live with fear as much as embrace the opportunity implicit in uncertainty.  I've used the regular features of my life as a way to take on that fear.  Planting a few different plants in the garden, picking up a book outside my usual interests, trying a new style of clothes, re-organizing a successful lesson to aspire for even greater success…….all relatively small acts that nonetheless felt like acts of bravery for me. 

It's amazing how far a little courage can take me.  It's lovely to see the prospect of uncertainly, associate it with potential good in my life, and then contemplate how far good can take me.  I still have doubts, of course.  That's human.  But I've gotten a lot more comfortable about the fact that I don't know how these chapters will end.  And these days I'm okay with that.

Living Room Re-Design

I've been putting off a final posting on my living room re-design because I'm not sure that the room is complete.  But while I consider some very small finishing touches, we're living in the room (appropriate, considering the name and all) and the more that I live with it, the more that I like it.

Feminist art not with-standing, the room is not overly girlish, which I like.  The new sofa is the most comfortable seat in the house, which I love.  The new chairs are scaled to suit me; also very comfortable.  The new curtains (thanks, Mom) add color to the wood blinds at the windows, but they don't overwhelm, which I like.

I did not get an ottoman, thinking that I'd give that change a try.  It did not suit, and I went to Ikea for an ottoman with a washable cover (essential under the circumstances).  While I like the color, I'm not convinced that it's perfect for the room.  I'd like another ottoman of sorts and am toying with my options.

The room is warm in tone, especially suitable for this year's very cold winter.  But it doesn't feel oppressive, so I think the room will make the adjustment to the warmer seasons quite nicely.  The room is welcoming and comfortable, which was my original goal.   I am pleased with the outcome, so I am declaring the project a great success. 

Household Happiness: Black and White Photos

 Black and white photos have always captured my interest.  When JT was born I set out to make black and white photos of him on a regular basis.  Over the years, my black and whites of JT have mostly been taken in the moment, when he's busy being himself.  Half of the collection hangs at the base of the stairs in the living room; 9 more photos made over a six year period hang in the stairway in sets of three, facing the living room.  The set taken this year is a happily completed goal on my life list. Making the photos wasn't the problem; I seem to manage that chore fairly easily.  The goal was to get a set developed, framed and finally hung on the wall.  I managed that last month.

 I love these pictures because I can stand in one corner of my living room and watch my baby grow up.  They are snapshots of a boy who is much-loved and each day when I walk up and down these stairs they are a daily reminder of just how fleeting time can be.

Life List Update

According to the calendar, summer isn't quite over.  But school starts next week.  This morning, JT and I head off for our last summer 2010 adventure.  So seasonal change is upon us and that always gets me thinking.  I spent a good portion of my summer thinking about my life list and doing some of the things on that list (completed items are in bold).  And in June, I added some things to my list.  While I am by no means close to completing the whole list (and that's the point, actually), I am still very proud of myself for thinking ahead. 

1. Have my own hot tub.
2. Hold my grandchild.
3. Take a cruise.
4. Visit all 50 states; current total: 43.
5. Find the perfect quilt for my bed.
6. Drive across country.....with JT behind the wheel.
7. Take JT to Europe.
8. Get a new bicycle.
9. Share my love of the Little House books with my child.
10. Have a front porch so incredible it could be on the cover of Country Living magazine.
11. Live in the South (again).
12. Throw terrific parties again…..I've gotten a start with dinner parties.
13. Train a vining plant to grow on a trellis in my backyard.
14. Learn to make a tasty white wine sangria.
15. Take a class in experimental philosophy at Rutgers University.
16. Finish the upgrade of the upstairs hallway....and then put up a cool wall decal from an etsy shop.
17. Teach JT to appreciate eating a variety of fresh fruits & vegetables.
18. Teach a course in American Foreign Policy (again....I taught it years ago, when I was a college professor).
19. Own a kick-ass black cashmere cardigan sweater.  Thanks KO!
20. Find the perfect dress. Wear it someplace special. Feel amazing.
21. Make (and eat!) a fruit pie made from apples and pears I grew myself.
22. Endow a scholarship at my alma mater, UCLA.
23. Clean up the boxes in the basement.
24. Visit Montreal, Canada.
25. Re-furbish the wood Adirondack chairs in the back yard.
26.  Acquire more plants for the back deck and then…..
27.  Clean out the useless computer in the study and turn the desk there into a place to winter over weather-sensitive plants.
28.  Re-model the bathroom.
29.  Take a new set of photos of JT to join the two black and white trios that hang in the stairway.
30.  Acquire a new sofa and chair for the living room.
31.  And while I'm at it, finding new comfortable chairs for the dining room would also come in most handy.
32.  All ceiling, all the time: Paint the kitchen, dining room, and bathroom ceilings.

It's been really nice to daydream about some things that might could really happen; things that would be very happy indeed.  And with that in mind, I'm adding a lot more items to my list. 

33.  Hike a portion of the Appalachian Trail.
34.  See more of Alaska……Denali, the Northern Lights…..you're on my list.
35.  Throw an old-fashioned English tea party.
36.  Truly heal my broken heart.
37.  Visit St. Petersburg, Russia
38.  Take JT to visit every ballpark in America.
39.  Index and organize my recipes.
40.  Take a weekend trip to New England in the fall.
41.  Wear some boots and feel stylish, not foolish.
42.  Replace the kitchen windows.
43.  Show JT Yosemite National Park.
44.  Visit Rocky Ridge Farm in Mansfield, Missouri
45.  Eat at Eno Terra restaurant in Kingston, New Jersey.
46.  See the Grand Teton Mountains.
47.  Visit Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
48.  Eat she-crab soup and then tour historical houses in Charleston, South Carolina.
49.  Choose my next car, get it bought, drive someplace fun.
50.  Plan and take a trip to Savannah, Georgia.
51.  Take JT to visit UCLA.
52.  Get caught up in my scrapbooks.
53.  Meet Smoky the Bear.
54.  Go to Williamsport to watch some College World Series games.
55.  Visit Cooperstown with the boy.
56.  Now that the elliptical is dead, turn the study into an actual study (so that all of JT's homework dreams can come true....ha).
57.  Wear a tank top to the gym without feeling dreadfully self-conscious.
58.  And on that note, live with less fear in my life.
59.  Find a way to enjoy Friday evenings again.
60.  Drive a Porsche on a very fast driving course.
61.  Attend a Country Living antiques fair.
62.  Find the perfect dresser for my bedroom.

Whew! This ought to keep me busy for a while.

Upstairs Hallway: Week Two

I've been steadily at work on my upstairs hallway project and the past week's labors were plenty rewarding, if sometimes exhausting.  Working at an hour a day for one solid week, I stripped wallpaper until Monday, when that messy, sticky, tiresome job was finally complete.

On Tuesday, I went to work repairing holes in the plaster, cleaning the woodwork and sanding out the chips and cracks so that the woodwork was ready for a new coat of paint.

On Wednesday, after issuing stern warnings to all life forms in the house that they weren't to touch anything, I set out to paint the woodwork.  Armed with my stepladder, a small bowl of paint, and my brush, I painted all six of the upstairs doors and doorways as well as the woodwork trim. 

On Thursday, I took a much-deserved break from painting.  JT and I devoted ourselves to selecting a final paint color for the hallway and stairwell.  We settled on a shade that is just a little lighter than the living room's.  The color is called sandstone cove, which seems like the perfect name for a hallway meant to be a restful place. 

On Friday, I finished setting down the painter's tape and got organized to apply the first coat of actual paint.  A quick look at the back wall in the living room; the one that runs upstairs, revealed that it was awash in handprints and the like.  I decided that it deserved a fresh coat of paint.  So that wall came first.  I followed up with the first coat of paint in the upstairs hallway.  Four hours later, I manned up for coat number two in the hallway.   

And now the job is done.  Later today, Sharkbutt, who gets credit for project motivation, is coming for supper.  I plan to solicit her help hanging up some pictures.  In the next few months, I plan to put up some wall decals from Elephannie's Etsy shop.  Then the job will be fully complete.  But things look pretty awesome right now.

In terms of doing most of the work myself, this hall is by far the most involved project I've taken on in my house.  Though it was sometimes frustrating, I am  proud of myself for seeing the project through to completion.   More than two years ago, when I first took after the wallpaper, I quickly removed the switch plate in the hall, a sure-sign of a work in progress.  Then as a combination of gentle rebuke and motivation, we lived switch plate-free while the project was waiting for completion.  Last night, I screwed on a new switch plate, the final act of the renovation.  I'm not sure that I'll ever turn the light on up here without thinking about this project and the fact that I got the job done.

It's a very happy thing.

Upstairs Hallway Project: Week One

More than two years ago, my friend Sharkbutt urged encouraged me to get started on fixing the upstairs hallway.  The stairwell and the hallway were papered in old wallpaper; nothing dreadful (which is why it had lasted so long) but the corners had been tattered by certain cats of my acquaintance.  The Shark knew that drove me crazy.

The project was much more difficult and messy than I expected and I quickly lost my will to finish the job.  In my defense, it wasn't exactly as if I was sitting around eating bon bons while the hallway was resplendent in its shabbiness.  And the unsightly hall was upstairs, so anyone who saw it either lived in the house or was invited upstairs, meaning they were expected to love us enough to overlook our disfigured hallway.  As the photos demonstrate, that was a tall order.

The task is on my Life List (#16) and as the rest of the house has started to look better and better, it was time for me to take on the hallway and mean it.  A wallpaper expert taught me that the removal would be easier if it was accomplished in two stages.  Stage one was to strip off the wallpaper; stage two was to then remove the adhesive underneath, using a wet rag and wielding a putty knife, to scrape it away.  It makes for an easier job, though it still requires patience and perseverance.  I could certainly set aside a couple of days to power through it, but I decided to instead take it slow and easy, devoting 60 minutes a day to the work with the hope that I could finish the project before school starts at the end of August.

One reason to complete the project in chunks is the sheer mess of the job.  Even if I had set aside a few days to just get it done, I'd still have to stop every hour or so and sweep away the mess.  For one thing, the detritus makes the stairs slippery.  For another, the wet wallpaper adhesive remains sticky and will easily adhere itself to the floors.  A drop sheet would help, though a slippery sheet of anything on the stairs seems like a very bad idea.

 This past week, while JT was away, I took on the job in a slow and steady fashion.  The first step is to remove the wallpaper and adhesive.  When that is done, I will patch and sand the plaster walls.  Then I will paint the hallway trim and then the walls.  Finally, I will hang some art up at the stairway landing and add an etsy wall decal in the upstairs hallway.  Laid out like this, the chores begin to look rather daunting.  So I'm just going to stick my head in the sand and methodically repeat "slow and steady wins the race."  Eventually, that will get the job done.  The week's progress is pretty good; I'm more than half way through the wallpaper removal job at this point.

Look for weekly updates as the rest of the summer unfolds.  And if you're in town, be careful before you come over.  You could be drafted to help out.

Life List #27: Table in the Study

 There is a room located just beyond French doors in the corner of my living room that we call the study because it has bookcases and was originally intended to have a desk with the computer on it.  But JT and I are laptop junkies who prefer a wireless life.  And the room was the only place in the house with space to house the elliptical (and therefore preserve my tenuous sanity).  So instead of being an actual study, where we would sit in a wooden desk chair while reading the great works, it's just the room we call the study.

Last summer, during my August cleaning frenzy, I organized the book shelves.  That has been a most happy development.  But the desk in here was stacked with an old desktop computer and printer, the phone, cable, and computer cords plus a whole bunch of other things which had no natural home.  Each winter, I would rescue a few outdoor plants and wedge them into the room to winter over.  And this unsightly, dusty mess was the view for my daily workout. 

Over the spring, as I looked over the desk and out the windows at my blooming lilac tree, I started to think about putting the desk surface to use as a place for plants to winter over and cats to sun.  A pail for pens, the phone, and the wireless router could stay but the rest of the desk would be a much neater (and nicer) host for actual things that I enjoy looking at.  I thought about this often, but there was no progress toward actually getting the done.  Finally, last week I was inspired to take action.  The job was nearly done before I thought to take any photos so you'll just have to trust me when I say that the table was a slattern's dream.  Because all you get to see is this much-improved view:

I've got a tidy, organized table (with a new wireless router…thanks for the assistance, C).  It's now ready for some happy plants (that would be life list item number 28) and cats to come and hang out.   And this is another job checked off on my life list.  I am a life list cleaning machine, people.