Of Course I Cried

Early yesterday morning we piled into the car and drove JT 3 hours north to Springfield College, where he will spend the next four years.  There was a pile of things one needs for college…..soft sheets and towels, a fan, laundry supplies, electronics, a metric ton of Cliff bars, running shoes and the paraphernalia of a runner, all of it surrounding my precious boy.  

The last few months have been a roller coaster of emotions as I prepared to send him off.  For the past month, I would look at him and find myself breathless with joy and pride in the young man he’s become.  These emotions were compounded by the realization that my daily life as a parent was about to change; this boy of mine will no longer rest his head in my home each night. In the last weeks, as the moments together grew more precious, I felt like holding on to every moment.

I cried at the very thought of separating from him and, as the day of departure grew near, I could no longer hide those tears from him.  Just looking at him was enough to make me cry.  But neither could I put those tears into words.  I’ll be sad not to see him every day, I will miss him (though, perhaps, not his voluminous laundry needs).  My house will be much more quiet. The cats will be at a loss for his presence.  I’ll miss making his supper and sitting together over that supper to share our days.  I’ll miss his presence.

But it’s time and he’s ready. He’s chosen a school with a community he’s excited to join, with academics that appeal to him, and a cross country coach who is pleased to have him on her team.  And if I had any doubts, they were answered on Sunday.  We unpacked his things and I made his bed (because of course I did) and then we hugged him and went on our way.  Two hours later he texted me this picture.

It's a photo of his running watch.  At college less than two hours, he’d gone on a a ten mile run with some of his new teammates.  He’s found his tribe and that is so very, very happy.