Tricks, Treats, & a Tiny Sliver of Hope

Halloween is a big deal in my town.  We have wide streets and sidewalks and that brings in the trick-or-treaters.  I keep track and this year T and I handed out candy to 168 trick-or-treaters.  I suspect that many of the kids at my door are out-of-towners but I don’t care.  There is something old-fashioned about a few hours in the evening when kids come to the door (most of them in costumes) and we give them candy.  It’s sweet, literally, and as the door closes to echos of “thank you” and “Happy Halloween” I feel happy.  It gives me faith that we can rise about our worst selves and be a good nation once again.

And if not, there are a few left over Kit Kats to get us through.

Dogwood Monday: October 29

I feel more anticipation for the November 6 election than I have every felt about an election in my lifetime.  It feels like so much is on the line, with daily reminders of just what a tiny, venal, mean-spirited, man we’ve placed in the White House.  Then an incident like the shooting in Pittsburgh occurs and I feel powerless.  

It seems silly to step on the back deck and admire my trees when the world feels like it’s on fire.  But these trees and this garden are my hope in the world.  And hope, however tenuous, is the only way forward.  So today I will celebrate the changing leaves on my dogwood and remind myself that when we can find hope we can survive.

Throwback Year 10

In the past week, I’ve been watching baseball playoffs and the World Series.  I’ve missed JT as I watch these games, because watching (and commenting, oh the commentary) was one of our nicest traditions.  In 2010, the year he was in 4th and 5th grade, JT’s baseball interest obsession really took off.

That year, we talked baseball a lot.  We’re a National League family and JT’s teams are the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants.  For Halloween, he was Pablo Sandoval, then a player for the San Francisco Giants and known by the fans as The Panda.

In grades 4 and 5 at the age of 10, he was sometimes silly.

He was often affectionate.

For a brief period he cared about his hair style.

We took a family trip to Alaska and had some summer adventures.

This past summer, as I made all the plans that would send 18 year-old JT off to college, I was so anxious about this change.  I knew that JT was ready but I didn’t know if I was.  There were days when I missed him acutely and he hadn’t yet left.  This fall has been an epiphany of sorts for me.  I’ve missed my boy but have shed few tears (and if you know me you know how rare that is).  I’ve been content and happy as I discover myself as a person again; sometimes it feels like the 18 years of being a full-time mama with a child at home were just an interlude in my life, as I suppose they eventually will be.  I love and miss him but we are both content, busy, and well.  That’s happy!

October Front Porch

Fall and Halloween are in command on the October front porch.

Halloween decorations are the reason I first got into a seasonal display on the porch and it remains one of my favorite months.

For the first part of the month, the weather was warm enough for me to sit outside on some afternoons and enjoy the crunchy leaves.  Since I got back from my trip to Massachusetts, there’s been quite a cool down and sitting outside on the porch requires a cozy sweater.  

There are fairy lights on the table and I light them for some of the evenings.  I’m looking forward to trick-or-treaters at the door and may very well answer the door in my witch costume.  Visitors have been warned.  

Dogwood Monday: October 22

After a warmer than usual September and early October, sometime last week, Fall took firm hold of our days.  Sweaters came out in abundance as a decisive chill took hold.  I turned off the air conditioner on Tuesday and turned on the furnace in the same week, an unusual development.  The dogwood’s changes have really taken off thanks to the cool nights in the past week.

These pictures were made this morning, in the dim sunlight.  Each day features a bit less sunlight and as we march toward the time change, I look forward to the sunlight in the morning, the only consolation for the dark afternoons that are coming our way soon.

There will be some leaf-raking in my future, likely plenty of it.  I don’t mind because Fall means hot tea, homemade soups, cinnamon apples, pumpkin everything, and cozy blankets.  That’s happy!

Throwback Year 9

At the age of 9, JT was in 3rd and 4th grade.  I loved this age because there was enough maturity to make for some interesting conversations and enough of a boy to make life a persistent adventure.  We played a lot of baseball that year and watched even more.

I thought of this earlier in the week, when 18 year old JT acknowledged that he would need a coat for the coming Winter in Massachusetts.  Age 9 JT disliked wearing a coat and only did so when there was enough snow to warrant such insulation.

For Halloween that year, JT organized Grandma to make him a Scottish kilt, complete with 18th century men’s blouse and a tam o’shanter-style hat.  He felt quite fancy and was so very pleased with the costume.

These days, I plan my own Halloween costume and look forward to handing out candy to the neighborhood trick-or-treaters.  It’s fun, though not quite the same level of excitement as having my own trick-or-treater.  

Fall in Massachusetts

 

Last week I was up north in central Massachusetts with my school’s sixth graders, who sent the week at The Farm School in Athol.  The weather was mostly warm but it’s clear that Massachusetts is a few weeks ahead of us when it comes to Fall leaves.

I made a load of pictures and enjoyed my time in the countryside.

Fall light can often be splendid and as the days grow shorter, I am always more aware of the sunlight and warmth that remains.

These days, the mornings are dark as the sun takes its sweet time slipping over the horizon.

As Fall takes hold, the twilight is shorter.  Everywhere I look, there is evidence of Winter plans being made, whether that’s stacks of firewood or sedum flowers starting to dry out.

One of the things my students most enjoy about the Farm School is working with the animals and enjoying the company of the elusive barn cats.  

The days at the Farm School at busy and loud; these pictures were made in the quiet moments in between when the students were completing farm chores.

I came home to Fall chores of my own.  I’ve already moved my plants inside for the season.  The Fairy Garden has been stored away.  Soon, there will be leaves to rake and bulbs to plant.  Mother Nature’s drive toward a resting season reminds me to plan for Winter myself.  Warmer quilts are on the bed; throw blankets are washed and ready to tuck under in the evening.  I’m making plans for cozy Winter evenings.

Dogwood Monday: October 15

Last week was humid and warm until Thursday, when a storm blew through and left Fall in its wake.  So though I started the week with the air conditioner turned on, by the end of the week, I had started the furnace for the season.   Fall is here.

The dogwood is getting after its seasonal change assignment.  Rain and cold temperatures are forecast for the week and that should accelerate the transformation.

Changing leaves, pumpkins, mums, fall soups, cozy sweaters…..all of Fall is on tap!

Throwback Year 8

By the time he was 8, JT was a charming companion.  He loved visits with his grandparents.

His devotion to baseball had taken hold by then, and he watched games and then called his grandfather to discuss their beloved St. Louis Cardinals and San Francisco Giants.  In the summer of 2008, he talked his grandfather into taking him to a game played.

He’d come home from school and get started on his homework while I worked out or made supper.

He was always up for an adventure, including pumpkin carving.

And snowball fights.

I’m in Massachusetts this week, hanging out with my school’s sixth graders at The Farm School.  This afternoon, I’ll visit JT at college.  I’ll take him shopping to stock up on Cliff Bars and snacks, take him to supper, and catch up on life in college.  Chances seem good that I will also marvel at the quick passing of time.  I’m sure that he’s be a pleasing companion.  He has been for years.

Dogwood Monday: October 8

My dogwood is one of the first things I see each morning and its seasonal changes are always enjoyable for me to observe.  

So far, it’s been a warm Fall, so warm that it’s rather hard to believe that seasonal change is at hand.  But there have been enough cool evenings to notify the dogwood that it’s time for the leaves to change color; berries and a slight red of the leaves have emerged.

Each Monday for the next few weeks, I’ll mark the progression of the dogwood leaves until the branches are bare for the Winter.  

It’s Done…Now What?

Last night, Justices Kagan and Sotomayor spoke at Princeton University where they reminded the audience of the importance of the Supreme Court as a trusted institution of American government. Historically, the Court has been trusted by the people.  In a period when neither the Congress nor the Presidency is trusted, it’s essential not to lose this third branch.

The conformation and seating of Brett Kavanaugh is dangerous on a number of fronts.  For starters, it sends an ugly message to survivors of sexual assault.  In the best light, it’s something along the lines of “I believe you but I don’t care.”  In the worst, it’s “I don’t believe you and I don’t care.”  That’s dangerous in a world in which women and men must live together.  It also lays bare a political divide in which the Republican party is willing to do anything in order to win a short-term political battle.  I fear that many Democrats will take up that challenge.  I caution against it because we must believe in our ability to be a republic that tolerates political disagreements without descending into ugliness and violence.  

Though Democratic frustration will likely bring a surge of voters to the November midterm elections, that won’t fix the damage of the Kavanaugh conformation.  Historically, Chief Justices have worked to build consensus in order to guarantee the credibility of the Court.  I’m no fan of Chief Justice Roberts but there is some evidence that he is aware of the role he can play in the longterm credibility of the Court.  Justice Roberts has spoken of this very issue and has, on occasion, voted in a way that suggests he is able to place consensus over politics.  I’m not optimistic, but neither do I think that all hope is lost on this front.  

In the meantime, there is a path forward:

1.  Believe survivors of sexual assault and work to provide them with the confidence to speak out and the resources and space to heal.

2.  Make clear the importance of consent, that we are and must be the masters of our own bodies, that sexual assault and sexual harassment is wrong and will not be tolerated by any of us.  Raise our sons and daughters to understand this.

3.  Work for candidates who will work on behalf of the causes that matter to us.  For me, that’s civil rights for all of us, gun control, protection of women’s rights to make decisions about their bodies, healthcare, the environment, childcare and child poverty, reform of the criminal justice system, student loan reform……there is no end of work to be done on behalf of a future that we can be proud to create.

4.  Register and vote.  Every time there is an election, vote.  Vote, vote, vote.

I usually end this sort of post by noting that I live in hope.   But it’s a hard time to live in hope, which feels fragile and whimsical in a time of such ugliness in our political divide.  So I will pause, take a deep breath, and once-again refuse to be broken or to lose hope.  Hope is the only way forward and we must find it together.

Judicially Intemperate

My liberal credentials and beliefs s are no secret and for that reason I never supported the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.  His reading of the Constitution is different from mine — he does not favor the right to privacy, which protects both a woman’s right to choose as well as marriage equality.  He favors a reading of the second amendment which permits little restriction of guns, including automatic assault rifles.  In terms of the Voting Rights Act, nothing he has written is promising and the gutting of the VRA will continue if he’s on the Court.  Ditto for the Violence Against Women Act.

These are not negotiable issues for me and my opposition was clear from the outset.

Add in the allegations by Susan Blasey Ford and others and my suspicions that Brett Kavanaugh is not suitable for a Supreme Court lifetime appointment is confirmed.  He could have apologized for the behavior toward Blasey Ford; he could have acknowledged that as a young man he drank to excess and may very well have made some poor decisions.  He did not. Instead, he denied and, quite frankly, lied about his drinking under sworn oath.

Then came his appearance before the Senate Judiciary Committee last week.  There, his anger and vitriol toward Senate Democrats and the half of the nation who identify with that party made very clear that this man is nor prepared to be an unbiased, thoughtful judge.  He is a partisan hack whose naked and ugly ambitions govern his every word and every thought.  The Wall Street Journal editorial he penned yesterday further magnifies his disqualification.  It was a pathetic effort to make amends for his trifling and sniping he showed in his Senate appearance last week.  He was called before the Judiciary Committee as a candidate for judge, not as a man, a father, or a husband.  And if couldn’t set aside his politics then (or even create the appearance that he will do so), then he cannot serve on the Supreme Court, let alone the lower federal judiciary.

Historically, the Supreme Court has been an institution in which the American people have confidence and faith.  If Brett Kavanaugh is confirmed to the Court the Supreme Court will automatically become less credible.  Its ability to protect our rights from a tyrannical government will be in doubt.   Our most trusted institution will stumble, perhaps forever.  The stakes are that significant.  

Kavanaugh must be rejected, if not for his Constitutional views and character, then for his unapologetic partisanship.  He is judicially intemperate and the republic cannot take such risks.

Throwback Year 7

7 year old JT was up for any adventure that came his way.  I remember a lot of laughter that year, accompanied by face-painting, costumes, climbing, and running everywhere he went.  His career goal was to be a Power Ranger.

He was also interested in piracy for his life’s work.

He envisioned himself as fierce but mostly he was cute.

And busy, so very busy.

At the start of second grade, he broke his leg while riding his bike.  Even that he took in stride and through a Fall on crutches, he was a trooper.

He was a cat for Halloween, wearing a costume he designed with the help of his grandmother.  He loved that costume and it is the sweetness of kitty cat JT that most lingers in my mind.

That’s happy!