Thursday, January 31, 2019

January 31 Book Report: Caroline: Little House Revisited



My affection for Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House books is unbounded and enduring.  There were the first real books I read for myself as a child and the stories and illustrations formed the backbone of my lifelong joy in books and a good story.  I read them endlessly as a girl, took a bit of a break as a teenager, but returned to them in my 20s.  I read a few of them each year, picking up one or another as one would make plans to see a good friend.  I’ve also read everything else about the Ingalls family that I can find.  From Laura’s newspaper columns to the writings of Rose Wilder Lane, Laura’s daughter, to dozens and dozens of more serious historical understandings of Laura’s life and experiences, I’ve devoured it all.  

Because of that deep interest, I know that while Laura based her children’s stories on her life as a pioneer girl, some of what she wrote was only a shard of the truth of her life and family.  The historian in me understands that the Little House books are both an artifact of their time (they were originally written in the 1930s and 1940s) as well as the post-Civil War America they sought to chronicle.  I know that the story of the Ingalls family that Wilder chose to share was a sanitized version of her past.  As a child, I loved the idea that these stories were “true.”  As an adult, I see that a child’s “true” is much different than an adult’s.  The distinctions and contradictions in the Laura Ingalls Wilder stories don’t bother me so much as engage my inner historian.  No better the truths, there are enduring stories and lessons told in Wilder’s novels about Laura and her family.  Those stories have shaped my life.  

From Laura’s books, I learned so much.  I knew the beauty of the prairie before I even set foot in Nebraska.  Even when life in the rural Midwest was a challenge, I had learned to love and appreciate the landscape.  I learned to appreciate the hardships and hard work of the pioneer settlers who headed west to find land and opportunity.  I learned to take pleasure in things made by hand and created by hard work.  I learned the power of Mother Nature.  I learned the value of kindness and saw the value of patience and grace well before I was able to consistently practice those traits on my own.

This last lesson came from Ma, Laura’s mother, Caroline, who is a prominent in all of Wilder’s stories.  Read from a child’s point of view, Wilder’s books seem to celebrate her father.  As an adult, reading Wilder’s series for my own pleasure and later to my son as he was growing up, it is Laura’s mother, Caroline, known as Ma, who stands out.  She is notable for her patience and grace, for her steadfast care and nurturing of her family, and for a resilience that is really quite remarkable.  From her, I understood the power behind such ideas such as “least said, soonest mended” and “what can’t be changed must be endured.” No matter the hardship, Ma turned toward the light.  I respect that about her.

When I first learned about Sarah Miller’s book, Caroline, I knew that I would read it.  Miller traces the events that Wilder outlined in her second Little House book, Little House on the Prairie, but tells the story entirely from Caroline’s point of view.  The book is simply dazzling, both for the power of the author’s words and for her ability to imagine Caroline, a character at once familiar and still mysterious to her readers.

It’s a tricky task to tell a well-known story from a different point of view, but Miller does it well.  She works with the contours of the Little House on the Prairie story that Laura told, gently inserting historical truths.  As was the case with Wilder’s books for children, Miller’s book is about a close-knit pioneer family.  It is about resilience and hard work; love and family.  

This book was my first read of 2019 and it set the bar high.  It was a treat to return to the world of the Ingalls family.  It will join my collection of Laura Ingalls Wilder books, a story that I will return to again and again.  That’s the highest complement I can pay a book.



Amaryllis Report Week 5: January 31


February is just around the corner.  That means the last full month of Winter, a sunset after 5 pm and days growing longer in chunks of minutes.  In the meantime, we are in the midst of a massive cold snap with temps hovering at zero this morning.  Signaling the coming promise is my intrepid amaryllis bulb, getting after the challenge of combatting Winter’s cold and darkness with the start of what looks to be a red flower.


That’s happy!


Monday, January 28, 2019

In Which Madam Speaker Brings the Heat


I’m an early riser and my Friday started with the news that Trump sycophant Roger Stone was also an early riser that day, this time headed to court thanks to a Mueller indictment.  It’s not Don Jr or Jared Kushner, my preferred indictees, but it was certainly a good start to my day.

By the afternoon, the shutdown was on hold and Trump’s blustery bullshit not withstanding we all know this is a Nancy Pelosi victory.  I have to say that I have long been a fan of Pelosi and since she and the Democrats took over the House she hasn’t disappointed.

In the last six months, I’ve been reading thorough Martin Luther King essays and they’ve convinced me of the need to hold the line with courage and conviction; to believe in the moral arc toward justice and to insist upon it instead of compromise.  I know plenty of Democrats who worried about Pelosi’s return to the speakership, instead favoring some new voices.  I am impressed by many of those new voices but I believed in Pelosi, in part because I felt that much of the criticism of her was simply old-fashioned sexism of the ugliest variety.  

My appetite to tolerate sexism was never high but since Trump won the Electoral College and the White House it’s been non-existent.  So I was best pleased to see Pelosi back in the driver’s seat.  Her steady command of party order and negotiation, her ability to hold the line when matters get tricky, and her willingness to call out the president on his ignorance and lies have been refreshing and empowering.  It’s telling that Friday’s end of the shutdown resulted in a Trump tweet storm of bullshit and name-calling.  Pelosi stated the obvious and moved forward.  There’s work to be done and she’s gonna do it.  

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Paper Flowers


I am not especially artistic but I have a creative streak when it comes to paper and ribbons (or, in any case, I believe that I have a creative streak when it comes to paper and ribbons).  A paper flower craft project caught my eye a few months ago and when I received the kit for Christmas, I was eager to make a start.


The kit came with all the things I need and the paper flowers were precut.  My task was to punch out the paper flowers, trim and fold them as desired, and then stack together the designs that most appealed to me.  I got started last week and I’m pleased with the progress I’ve made.


These flowers will eventually join others and serve as a front door wreath in March. It’s a pleasing project for cold Winter nights, one that reminds me of the promise of Spring blooms.




Thursday, January 24, 2019

Amaryllis Report Week 4: January 24


This little gem is just clicking right along, growing, growing, growing.  When I spy it in the early morning it makes me smile.  That was especially helpful at the start of the week, when Monday morning dawned at 2 degrees with a windchill rather substantially below zero.  Days like that make it hard to believe I will ever casually step outside in flip flops.


Then I see the amaryllis and I am reminded of the promise of Spring.  That’s happy!


Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Shortbread Superpower


For the last few months, T and I have been on a Netflix bender watching the Great British Baking Show.  I am a well-established Anglophile and I’ve been transfixed by the things that the English bake.  While the meat and game pies horrify me, the tarts and shortbreads have been thrilling.  For Christmas, I asked for a shortbread pan.  T gave me one and this past weekend, I got to work.


I made vanilla shortbread.


I made lemon shortbread.


I think it can be safely said that I have now added shortbread to my baking superpowers.  That’s happy and delicious!



Monday, January 21, 2019

Only Love


I find the current Trump-empowered political nightmare frustrating beyond measure and I’m long past responding to Trump’s daily stupidity by thinking that this time he’s truly crossed the line.  He has crossed the line; he does so on a daily basis.  But I have no idea where that boundary is for Mitch McConnell and the Republican party.  And until we get there, we must survive the daily horror that is Donald Trump.

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of Barack Obama’s first inauguration and as I looked at pictures from that day and remembered my own memory of that splendid moment for our nation, I felt a wave of despair.  It feels so far away.  And here I am in 2019 groping in the darkness for a step in the right direction.

Today, Martin Luther King Jr. can once more lead the way for us.  I am frustrated; I am angry; I am mad.  But those emotions will not help our nation to move forward.  As Reverend King reminds us, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” 

Only Light.

Only Love.

Holding firm to Light and Love and the powerful hope that the arc will once again bend toward justice.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Sunrise


The sky over the prairie is enormous and splendid and even when there was 40 miles per hour sustained winds or a tornado-alley storm, the Nebraska sky was often splendid.  

Though I had surely been awake before sunrise on many an occasion, it wasn’t until the first year I lived in Nebraska that I paid attention to the look of the sky at sunrise.  I can still remember the day that I first looked up at sunrise.  I was up early to attend an event in Lincoln, more than 150 miles away.  I was traveling with some other faculty from the school where I was a professor and we left before sunrise.  We were heading south and miles and miles of open prairie were to the east as the sun came up over the horizon.  It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen.  In the 8 years that I lived in Nebraska, the daily prospect of a splendid sunrise and sunset became normal.  To this day, more than 16 years since I left the midwest, I can still see that beauty in my mind.

I thought of all of this on Thursday morning when the sunrise painted the New Jersey sky with a lovely pink glow.  These days, I am often awake before the sunrise and I enjoy the chance to spy a look at the horizon as the sun comes up.  It’s no open prairie but rather a busy horizon filled with trees and houses.  But it is often lovely in its own way.


Winter sunrise light is one of the treats of this cold season and the view I spied on Thursday was a splendid reminder of Mother Nature’s beauty.  

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Amaryllis Report Week 3: January 17



This year’s amaryllis is a go-getter.


Among other things, this means I check it out each morning and smile to see its progress.  T is no longer at risk for a whiny “it’s not growing” text message.  And, best of all from my pint if view, I am coping better with the Winter, thanks to the daily reminder that a bloom is coming.


Monday, January 14, 2019

Shut Him Down


As the federal government’s partial shutdown extends into another week, I am reminded again of the importance of leadership and governing.  I realize that both parties are engaged in a game of chicken, and while I understand the context for both sides (though I am only sympathetic to the Democrats), I worry that the daring experiment that is American government may be damaged in the continued face-off.

I do not wish to spend 5 billion dollars of tax payer money on a racist and unnecessary wall at our southern border. I appreciate and agree with the Democratic leadership’s position against the wall.  I am horrified at the Republican party’s insistence that the government be shut down until they get their way.  

I am increasingly troubled by the sheer number of government employees expected to live (and sometimes work) without pay.  I think that labor is sacred and that workers should be compensated for it. I love my job but I’m not there for community service; a paycheck is an affirmation and in our money economy, a requirement of life.  For workers to face the prospect of hungry families and homelessness in service of the giant ego of an ignorant and mean-spirited man is unthinkable and immoral.

I guess that is my point: Trump makes all of us look bad.  His very presence in political office makes a nation of Americans complicit in his spiteful, venal ways.  I find this profoundly sad.

Sunday, January 13, 2019

January Front Porch


I  got a new front porch flag for Christmas and it’s the perfect fit for January.  I hung it up on the windy day that was the first of this month, ready to greet the thin sunlight of cold mornings and welcome me home in the twilight of the waning day.


There is also a happy new resident on the table to echo the flag.  


I’ve a long history of being charmed by the squirrels in my yard and this little guy is no exception. I may even find him more charming than his brethren, thanks to the fact that he doesn’t try to break into the back yard bird feeder, eat the fruit on my trees, or demolish any of the pumpkins I set out.  His name is Zip, a tribute to T’s pet sugar glider who went to the great eucalyptus-laden beyond last year.


The basket is also new, a Christmas present that I will enjoy all year long, on the porch and for use to collect the produce and flowers I expect to grow this Spring and Summer.  There is greenery, pinecones, and lights to brighten the darkness.
The front door wreath is stark, befitting the season.


This porch and planning the things I will set out to celebrate each month is one of the nicest blessings in my life.  The porch is both my warm weather refuge and my daily welcome-home stop.  I enjoy planning the things I will set out and love the way the porch reflects the changes Mother Nature brings as each months slides into the next.



Saturday, January 12, 2019

For the Birthday Girl


Today is my sister’s birthday.  Her card may arrive in her mailbox on time but her gifts will arrive a bit late.  She’s a talented gift-giver herself, and I think I got things right, even if I didn't get them there on time.

My sister and I are just three years apart and one of my earliest memories is standing in the kitchen of our house talking on the phone with my dad who called from the hospital to share the news that I had a little sister.  It was exciting at the time and she was only a few hours old.  Today, on her birthday, it’s worth noting that KO’s arrival always brings a burst of energy and enthusiasm.  She’s a celebration in human form.  


She’s funny, smart, and beautiful  (the photo above was made at JT’s graduation and if she wasn’t my sister I’d hate her for the fact that she never takes a bad photo).  She’s also loyal and kind-hearted, with the sort of sound judgment and perspective that ensures even the worst days feel manageable.

I always joke that there was a fuck-up in the birth order continuum and that I have no business being the older sister in our family.  When we were little, KO used to vow that she would one day be older than me.  These days, I’m over 50 so she gets the last laugh on that front.  I may be older but is she who sets the example for being in this world.   Happy Birthday, KO!


Thursday, January 10, 2019

Amaryllis Report Week 2: January 10


We’re still in the early stages of the bulb growing season and usually the first few weeks don’t bring much growth.  But the stem is already a tad longer when compared to last week, so that’s pleasing.  I've turned it to even out the sunlight the plant receives.


Keep it up, little amaryllis!


Wednesday, January 09, 2019

Calendar Girl


For many of the events in my life, I’ve made the transition to a digital calendar that I keep on my phone.  But I still like to write things down on a paper calendar, which is both satisfying to use and a good way to mark events in my memory.  As I have done for years, in December I purchased a new calendar to hang on the kitchen bulletin board at home.  When I made that purchase, I also choose a desk calendar for my office.

During Winter Break, I fill both calendars with what I know of the year’s coming events.  I start with the key events in January and before I know it, the days and weeks of the remaining months have an item or two, often more.  Before the sun has even risen on first day of January, I’ve already filled in the end of one school year and the tentative start of another.

These days, time often feels like it passes just that fast.  Today is the 9th and as of tomorrow the new year’s first month will already be in double digit days.  By then it feels like February is pushing its way forward.  This is an over-exaggeration, of course, but it also contains of shard of truth.  Time passes quickly and it’s far too easy for me to plan for the future then it is to pause and embrace and enjoy the present while it is here to be had.

Planning ahead is nice and heaven knows I’m a girl who loves a list of things to be done.  But there is power in being alive and here for the moment happening right now.  I spent so much of 2018 bracing for and fretting about the change of JT heading off to school that I needed a daily reminder to enjoy the here and now and let the future take care of itself.

That’s a message that still resonates with me and in 2019 I am resolved to treat the future as something to anticipate, not fear.  And I remind myself that it is is the here and now in which life must be lived and relished.  So my calendar and I are here and ready to embrace each day that 2019 brings.  

Monday, January 07, 2019

Back to School


JT returned to college on Saturday.  His classes don’t start for another two weeks, but he’s got two-a-day practices for the indoor track season so he’s running.  It was nice having him home and I will miss the sounds of my boy, but he had a good rest and was ready to get back to his teammates and his routines, so it was time.  This morning, I head back to classes myself.

The last two weeks have been a lovely, much-needed rest and I return refreshed and ready for January.  Spring Break is a little over two months away and there is plenty yet to accomplish in the school year.  I expect that this time will pass quickly, as it always does.  I like a life with regular routines at the center of it and this chunk of the school year is good for a girl who enjoys certainty in her habits.  The bustle of the holidays is behind me and the house has been made tidy.  There is an amaryllis to admire each day and seed catalogs to fuel my gardening daydreams.  The days are getting a tiny bit more sunlight with each rise and set of the sun; by February, the day’s light will have extended to 5:45.

This period of the school year is traditionally a point where my 7th graders make tremendous strides in their ability to absorb and understand complicated ideas.  We’ll study Washington, Jefferson, and Jackson and then get into the 1830s to learn about the reform movements that begin to take hold in America.  They’ll learn about Frederick Douglass, Harriet Tubman, the Grimke Sisters, William Lloyd Garrison and others; people whose ideas and actions will help these young minds to set their moral compass for a lifetime.   I always enjoy working with this material.

So I’m ready and it’s time.  Here we go…….

Saturday, January 05, 2019

2019 and a Thread of Hope


At some point in the last week of 2018 I realized that 2019 would bring us one step closer to the end of Donald Trump.  Strictly speaking, I have marked that happy news every day since this inept and cruel man took office.  But 2019 really does feel significant; next year we have a presidential election and we can refuse to re-elect him.  This year, candidates will be ginning up to make the challenge.  Elizabeth Warren has already announced that she will explore a run.  That alone changes the tenor of the political landscape; she’s not going to be quiet while Trump endangers us.  She’s willing to lead and will pull mightily in another direction.  

That’s hopeful.

There is no guarantee that the national discourse will shift and the limits of the Electoral College remain.  But 2019 feels like Trump’s days are limited.  I will certainly do my best to see him lose the White House.  While I eagerly await for the Mueller report, my hopes for the end of Trump don’t rest on that report alone.  For starters, I’ve grown weary of the wait.  In addition, I don’t really expect that any of the Republicans in Congress will stand up for decency and against Trump.  They haven’t thus far, though each week (sometimes each day!) brings new evidence that Trump is not suited to be the nation’s president.  I don’t expect that anything Mueller reports will change the minds of the GOP’s leaders.

But I watched Nancy Pelosi be sworn in as Speaker with an assortment of children around her and I felt pride.  The sheer number of women elected to the House feels like progress; like we are moving in the right direction.  I do have hope about our nation’s voters.  Even accounting for the disaster that is the Electoral College, I feel it.  It seems like a wispy thing, hope in such an era as this.  But it’s all that we have; all that I have.  So I will hold tightly to it and live in hope.

Thursday, January 03, 2019

Amaryllis Report: Week 1


Each Christmas, T gives me an amaryllis bulb.  It’s a happy treat for the quiet Winter season and I eagerly anticipate the year’s bulb.  I planted it last week and now its part of my morning landscape, as I check out the progress each day.


This corner of the living room gets plenty of morning light and the warmth of the  sunrise.  There’s inspiration in the form of the neighborhood plants.  And then there is me, rooting on the bulb as my happy harbinger of the Spring to come.



Wednesday, January 02, 2019

Bird Feeder


A few years ago, T gave me a bird house (and then she helped to install it on a hook at the corner of my garage).  It’s been a treat to watch the visitors, especially in the cold months.  This year, my parents gave me a bird feeder for Christmas.  For now, it’s hanging on a shepherd’s hook in a corner of the yard that I can see quite easily.  In the Spring and Summer, my mornings are filled with the happy sound of chirping birds; a treat I always enjoy.  The feeder is my chance to pay back the birds for the happiness they bring me.


I’m looking forward to admiring the visitors who will come to dine.  


That’s happy!

Tuesday, January 01, 2019

January 1: Fairy Garden


Each year, I pick a spot in the garden that I will make a picture of and write about on the first of the month.  So much of the reason that I love my home is because of the yard and the garden, which provide me with beauty and imagination throughout the year.  These posts help remind me to observe the passage of time and appreciate all the seasons of my garden.  

The first of the month posts in 2019 will be the section of the yard reserved for my Fairy Garden.  Right now, things are quiet in this patch alongside the back fence next to the quiet peach tree.


The mulch is messy with leaves; the climbing clematis at the center of the spot is at rest.  I store the cottages away for the Winter and will set them up again when Spring begins to take hold.  Come late Spring, all of the Summer, and some of the Fall, the fairy houses will be a spot of magic along the fence.  For now, while the cottages and fairies are at rest, the plot has a bird feeder at one end and a bird house at the other.


It is the quiet season for the garden.  But in my mind’s eye I can see the season to come.  While the cold has its days, I will also rest.  But with my rest comes the planning for the coming season.  Soon enough, the fairies will return.