April Book Report: Mrs Harris Goes to Paris

Earlier this month, I went by the town library and got myself a library card.  When I was growing up, libraries were magical places and everything about them was thrilling.  Filled with the prospect of nearly endless books that I hadn’t yet read, I loved them as a girl.  As a grew up, libraries became places to study and get school work done and I loved them for that.  As a parent, JT and I visited the school library and delighted in a new stack of books to bring home.  It’s been several years since I had a little boy to take to the library but the recent news about book bans and libraries and librarians under attack reminded me of the magic I used to find in libraries.  So I looked up the hours and went to my local library.  

I am best-pleased to report that it is as delightful and happy as the libraries of my girlhood.  I came away with a stack of books and a newfound pleasure in the prospects to be found in this local treasure trove.  

This month’s book report is about a book I found at the local library, a two-volume book by Paul Gallico:  Mrs Harris Goes to Paris & Mrs Harris Goes to New York.  Written in 1958 (and turned into a film last year), the book is about the adventures of an industrious char lady from London.  Mrs Harris, a woman in her 60s, works hard cleaning the homes and tidying up on behalf of posh clients.  She’s been doing so long enough that Mrs Harris may choose her clients and lives a happy, if tiring, life in London.  It’s while she’s cleaning up after Lady Dant that Mrs Harris first sees - and touches - Lady Dant’s beautiful Dior dress.  Mrs Harris is charmed - besotted, really - and the novel is all about the char lady’s effort to acquire her very own Dior dress.  First, she scrimps and saves and finally she sets off to Paris to acquire the gown.  

The novel was a lovely and quick read, funny and clever and the sort of cheering story I love best.  A happy ending is virtually guaranteed from the first page of the novel and the adventure is in the twists and turns that unfold on the way to the inevitable happy conclusion.  Just my sort of book, always, but especially this month which has found me in need of good cheer.  Thanks to the local library (and Mrs Harris!), I found just that.  That's a blessing that will last, I expect and I am grateful for it.

April Showers

My April word graphic includes April showers...which is truly the theme for this last cold, rainy weekend of the month.

A Rough Patch

As I restructure my life and move through this first year without a partner and without my Dad, I’m learning that rough patches will appear without warning.   I do my best to predict and prepare for them, but it’s often an imperfect balance.  The two losses are vastly different and separate but that they are happening within just a few months of one another combines them in my mind.  

For reasons I can’t completely sort out, grocery shopping remains a challenge.  I don’t quite know why, but it’s hard and I often cry on my drive home.  Contemplating my Summer garden is happy right up until the moment I want to ask my Dad a gardening question and then I feel sad that I won’t hear from him that the tomatoes are looking splendid this year.  I’m not fragile or even brittle but I am sometimes sad and I feel tender, as if there is a deeper hurt just under the surface bruise.  

I have this vivid memory of my Dad telling me I was beautiful - it happened years ago, at a moment when I desperately needed the reminder - and though I’ve never forgotten it, it’s not been a memory that resurfaces often.  But it has appeared in my dreams of late and it feels intentional, a message from my sub-conscious,  While it brought me comfort all those years ago when he said it to me, now it stings and I’m not sure why.  

I am gentle and try to be kind to myself but even that is rather a double-edged sword as it reminds me that I am truly on my own.  In my weaker moments, my internal dialogue repeats that I am alone because I am too difficult to be loved and cherished.  I shut down that voice when it speaks, but I can’t quite seem to disable it.

I maintain a pretty blistering pace at work and a lengthy to-do list for the weekends in order to dodge unsettling feelings.  Being busy feels useful.  I enjoy time by myself without feeling lonely - that has always been true for me - but I now I seem to worry this won’t always be the case.  Again, that’s a strange development, since I have always been a loner of sorts.  I would like some easy weeks without an abrupt reminder of what I have lost but I feel like it will be a while before that happens.  Right now I am grateful for a peaceful day.  Loss and grief are like that, I think.  And so I move forward and even when I stumble, I keep my chin up.

April Cooking Journal: Quick Suppers

I’ve taken to making frittatas and quiches quite a bit in the last year.  Sometimes, I plan ahead and get particular ingredients at the market.  Just as often, I stir together a frittata with whatever veggies I have on hand.  Both frittatas and quiches are forgiving of disorganization and both involve delicious leftovers, which is perhaps their appeal of late.

A warm homemade supper that comes together easily is a very nice way to look after myself and JT in these busy days of the final quarter of the school year. I'm glad that I am the sort of home cook that can summon the energy to make supper happen.

Rows and Rows of Tulips

A friend and I made a visit to a local tulip farm on Sunday and the flowers were simply splendid.

Row after row of tulips in all shades greeted us.

I’ve been to the tulip farm before and I knew what to expect.  This visit was better... that in itself was a reminder of how hard 2022 proved itself to be.  This year, we walked through the fields and enjoyed ourselves immensely.  

Gratitude Journal: Spring Flowers

In previous iterations of my life, the search for daily gratitude has been a tool that has helped me to find my way out of darkness.  It’s not overly dramatic to say that gratitude has saved me.  I’ve never given up my daily gratitude practice.  Each night when I turn out the light, I identify something in the day for which I am grateful.  That habit has served me well in the past 18 months, which have been hard.  As I am finding my way forward into a new existence and it is my recognition of gratitude that is helping to light my way.  

April and its abundant blooms ensure that gratitude is easy to locate.  By this point in the month, there is a flower or plant beginning to bloom nearly every day.  First the purple crocuses, then the white and yellow daffodils, the hostas peaking through the soil, the pink magnolia and cherry tree flowers, the redbud and dogwood blooms, phlox preparing to open, the tulips and then the azaleas……the sunshine and these abundant blooms are a daily reminder that there is beauty to be found when I need it most.  April and May are so very lovely and I never take these beautiful days for granted. That’s happy!

Dogwood Blooms

In the dark and cold of the early Spring mornings, I make time to step outside and spy the dogwood tree.  At first, the start of leaves and the small, tight buds that will become flowers take time to come into focus.  As the days grow longer and the sunlight grows warmer, the leaves, which start the size of slender nail clippings, begin to grow larger.  The same is true for the buds.  They start as tiny hard nodules on the end of new growth branches and daily they grow just a smidge bigger.  

Come April, it’s clear there will be flowers in the coming weeks and though I’ve known it all along, known it since the tree shed its leaves in the Fall, I am still overjoyed at the coming blossoms.  Spring is here, the dogwood flowers call to me, and in the chill of the early morning, the chirping birds and I cheer them on.

Style Journal: In Praise of the Bullpen

A few weeks ago, I read an article at The Every Girl about taking steps to make your world look more like a romantic comedy.  The article was directed toward women younger than me but I really love The Every Girl and articles like this is one of the reasons: a lot of it struck home.  I enjoy taking the time to make my daily life pretty.  Whether it’s decorating my house for the seasons or setting the supper table with nice dishes and pretty linens, I am all about making my days just a little nicer.  In that spirit, among many things I do to make things nicer for myself is my Sunday tradition of setting out the clothes I will wear to work in the coming week.  I call it the Sunday bullpen and I set one up every week.  

I have an app that I use to keep track of clothes and shoes and I use it to keep track of clothing and outfit combinations and to otherwise plan ahead.  On Sunday, I iron or steam the clothes I will wear for the week and just like that, every workday morning runs a little more smoothly.  Most mornings, I wake up in the dark and as my eyes adjust to the dim light, the items in the bullpen come into view.  Honestly, they make me glad to be awake.  Planning ahead helps me to both avoid indecision on busy mornings and also to really enjoy my clothes.  Morning Me is always grateful that Sunday Me took her time to plan for the week.  When I was younger, I would have been embarrassed about my desire to make life look nice, almost as if I didn't deserve it.  But 55 year old me is unapologetically glad that I take the time to look after myself.  Here’s to a life that is made nicer because it looks pretty.

The Charms of Easter & Spring

The Easter Bunny fulfilled his yearly obligation by bringing us baskets with chocolate and pajamas, a Spring tradition that I love. 

In the afternoon, JT and I went to Colonial Park and turned our faces toward the sun and blooms.  

I made a delicious supper. 

I worried a great deal about planning holidays in the aftermath of my breakup with T, fearful it would feel lonely. But holidays were sometimes loaded for her and therefore everyone around her.  The freedom to celebrate unapologetically is a welcome change and among the challenges of the last year, that feels good to acknowledge.

Among the Trees: Daffodil Season

It seems that I am always impatient for the arrival of Spring.  Though we had an incredibly mild Winter, this year was no exception.  I have been on the lookout for signs of Spring since I returned from California in February.  That means frequent visits to Colonial Park, where I like to take my walks and look for all the new blooms.  In the past week, the pace of Spring blooms has picked up.  There are daffodils everywhere.  Some are just starting to open their flowers. 

Others have begun to bloom.  

Within the week, more fields of daffodils will emerge everywhere I look.  I'm excited for the blooms.

Every year, I find early Spring to be a balm and a joy.  The sunlight, the warmth, the verdant new life...all of it is lovely.  This year, watching the new leaves and flowers has been bittersweet, as I think of my Dad and the garden chatter we always shared.  It’s a bit of a one-sided conversation these days, though I can hear his voice and I know he’ll be there as I plant my seeds and await the new life.  Spring, I hear you calling and I am here for all of it.

Windows Down, Sound Up

Spring can come on slow around here and then the day arrives when Spring delivers near perfection: sunshine, clear skies, warmth enough to roll down the windows.  I lose my mind on those days.  I drive home from school with the windows down and the music loud.  I feel like 16 again.  And by feel like 16, I mean I am listening to the same music I listened to when I was 16...

I never tire of the feeling.

April 1: Teacup, the Pothos Plant

This pothos plant has been around for a while….at least 15 years by my reckoning.

The plant lives in a giant blue tea cup planter that has white polka dots.  Such a thing is as on-brand for me as humanly possible,  lover of tea cups and polka dots that I am.  

The plant owns this corner of the red bench in the Winter and will take center stage on the front porch table come warmer weather.  Cuttings from this pothos are the foundation for several additional pothos plants that live in my care.  A pothos is easy to care for and unfailingly lovely, which is a happy development for this gardener.  It's worthy of a celebration always, but especially as April makes its appearance.