Cooking Journal: Thanksgiving Supper

Normally, I post a Cooking Journal reflection on the 20th of the month.  But I am behind with everything these days, and this blog is no exception.  I figured a few days late with a Thanksgiving supper post was perfectly acceptable and so here we are.  I am deeply enmeshed in food restriction these days, looking to achieve the arbitrary BMI number that will get me the new hip I so desperately need.  I took a break from that on Thanksgiving and allowed myself to eat for the day.  

So it was that JT and I had a delicious Thanksgiving supper.

There was turkey and a potato casserole (neither of us loves mashed potatoes).  I roasted Brussels sprouts and made a posh cheese tray.  There was homemade cranberry sauce and  hot yeast rolls with butter.  We had pumpkin pie for dessert - JT loves pumpkin pie and I’ve also been known to enjoy a slice or two.  Mostly, we enjoyed the day and felt gratitude for the time off this week, the company of one another, and the happy home that we share.    

Monthly Book Report: Delicious! by Ruth Reichl

Like every other cook in the world, I have read a good deal about Ruth Reichl and here and there, I’ve read Reichl herself, in Gourmet and elsewhere.  I’ve enjoyed her humor and joy in the day-to-day and I’ve always admired her appreciation of a well-cooked meal.  I picked up Delicious! from the library and it was a fun read as I transitioned from summer into the start of school.  

It’s the story of a young woman, Billie, who lands a dream job at Delicious magazine in NYC.  Just as Billie is settling into this quirky workplace, the magazine suddenly shuts down.  The rest of the novel is devoted to Billie finding her way forward, solving a mystery in the letter archives at Delicious and finding her self along the way.  

The story was filled with quirky - but believable - characters and I could feel the happy ending that I always enjoy in a book.  I worried that the recipes and food would be too much for me to enjoy as I am trying to lose weight so I can have a hip replacement, but that turned out not to be the case.  It was a happy little read and I’ll be back for more of Reichl’s work.

Cooking Journal: Home Cooking for One

During my time off this month, I took the opportunity to make some truly delicious meals for myself, something that was lost in the shuffle of the last few years.  

I made a caprese-inspired brunch.  

There were plenty of sandwiches, especially BLTs and grilled caprese sandwiches with fresh tomatoes.   

I made corn chowder with some just-picked Jersey corn.  

There were zucchini bites. 

 I am a great cook and I always enjoy cooking for other people.  Since I became single again, I’ve also taken the time to cook for myself.  It’s a form of self-care that puts my needs at the center of my efforts and that it also tastes delicious is icing on the cake.

An Independent Woman

 In our last year together, T and I faced some home improvement challenges that we did not handle well as a couple.  My sense at the time - and even more so now - is that in both circumstances she was weirdly unreasonable.  I never said that to her because it would not have helped things in the moment.  Though I held my tongue, in both cases, she was mighty angry with me anyway.  It proved a can’t-win-for-losing-proposition.

 I thought of these challenges on Tuesday afternoon, when I popped into the basement and discovered that my water heater had dumped a whole bunch of water on the floor.  A cursory feel below the tank revealed that it had sprung a leak.  I have a service contract on home appliances like the water heater and I called the repair service.  They came out that night to confirm what was already clear:  I need a new hot water heater.  I made arrangements for installation the next day.  Then I reported on the situation to a couple of friends and prepared to finish out the evening. 

I did all this confidently, in full command of the facts, and by myself.  I was organized and decisive and grateful that there was no one to doubt me or raise barriers to the obviously simple solution at hand.  Because that’s the thing about me: I am capable and independent and I know it.  I ask for help when I need it; I do not doubt what I know to be true and I don’t dilly-dally around because that makes an already- challenging circumstance harder.  That was what made the last two home improvement repairs with T so difficult: she made everything much harder than it needed to be, doubting my judgement in the absence of any valid reason to do so.

Once the repairman left on Tuesday evening,  I made myself a delicious late-night BLT supper (it’s Jersey tomato season, after all) and texted my sister that the hot water heater and I had a good run together.  ”14 years,” I texted, “longer than any adult relationship I’ve ever had.”  She gave the appropriate "ha, ha" response.

I know there is something sad about that claim - it’s no secret that in my darker moments I wonder if it’s something wrong with me that explains why both of my long term relationships have failed.  I sometimes fear that my independence is something that partners find threatening.  But there is also this:  I am damn good at looking after myself.  I always have been and over the years I’ve gotten better at it because I’ve had to do so.  While I wouldn't mind someone taking care of me every once in a while, I suspect that is not in the cards for me.  So I recognize the blessing my independence has proven to be.  I don't apologize for it and I never will.  

April Cooking Journal: Quick Suppers

I’ve taken to making frittatas and quiches quite a bit in the last year.  Sometimes, I plan ahead and get particular ingredients at the market.  Just as often, I stir together a frittata with whatever veggies I have on hand.  Both frittatas and quiches are forgiving of disorganization and both involve delicious leftovers, which is perhaps their appeal of late.

A warm homemade supper that comes together easily is a very nice way to look after myself and JT in these busy days of the final quarter of the school year. I'm glad that I am the sort of home cook that can summon the energy to make supper happen.

Cooking Journal - January

 I love to set a table for dining.  I like dishes and linens (and have more of them than is reasonable or necessary in my small home); I like the look of my antique farm table when it’s set for daily supper; I like sitting down to eat a homemade meal in the dining room.  I’m a good cook and over the years I’ve learned to make elaborate and time-consuming dishes for weekend dining.  But I’m just as likely to put a tasty supper on the table at the end of a busy work day.  I am grateful for both skills; cooking is one of the main ways that I care for myself and my family. 

When T and I were together, she preferred to eat while watching television.  But for the occasional Friday night pizza and a movie, I found this habit appalling.  But I told myself that relationships are about compromise and I ate in front of the TV.  In the months since we parted, I am also able to recognize that it was easier to eat on a TV tray than deal with the passive aggression that would greet a meal served at the table. That is - perhaps - a story for another day.

Since T departed, meals are now served at the dining room table.  I’ve made quite a few new recipes as well, which is also a source of pleasure to me.  I gave myself Jen Hatmaker’s, “Feed These People” for my birthday and so far every recipe I’ve made from the cookbook has been a winner.  That is certainly the case for this pork banh mi sandwich that has become a delicious favorite. 

It’s easy to make and smells amazing.  It’s as good in leftover form as it is when served fresh, thanks to the pickled veg served on top.  Most of the work to make it comes together in the morning (or even the night before) and that is also pleasing, as it sets me up for a quick meal to be on the table on a busy night.  Home-cooked meals served on a nicely set table are one of the easiest pleasures in life and that’s happy, indeed.

Self-Care and Kindness

In the aftermath of the break-up with T, I looked for ways to be kind to myself.   This is not a trait that comes easily to me but if ever a year called for kindness to myself, it is 2022.  I vowed to remember the little niceties that make my days better.  So it was that even when JT was out of the house, I set the dining room table and made supper for myself.  

Over the last few months, holding to this habit has paid dividends.  I sit with candlelight, music, something to read and I enjoy an evening meal.  There’s nothing quite like a cloth napkin, a home-cooked meal, and a seat at the table to remind myself that though I may feel bewildered and bruised by the last few months, I am still worthy.  

And I’ve the soup to prove it.