A Writing Habit

To ease the swirling thoughts in my mind, I have always written in a journal, a habit begun when I was in the fifth grade.  Over the years, some of those journal thoughts became this blog, which I have loved.  Postings fell off in the last two years, at first because in the early days of the Covid quarantine (remember when we hoped to flatten the curve?) I began a hand-written Covid journal.  I closed out the Covid journals in June of 2021 but never quite returned to the blog. 

I think that’s because my journal was filled with growing anxiety about my relationship with T and though I could identify and acknowledge that truth there, I was still hiding it from the world.  I never wanted the blog to be dishonest and so it was mostly neglected in 2021 and 2022. 

Since our breakup, I’ve made an effort to return to the blog, cultivating ideas to write about and share in this place that I consider a digital record of my life since 2006, when the blog first began.  For me, writing is like any other habit worth having: it needs to be intentional.  

One way I’ve organized that intention is by setting up regular monthly things to write about.  Since the blog began, the “About Me” section has been updated monthly, a habit that helped me to identify a list of the things that made me happy.  When the habit began, I was combatting an excruciating depression by looking for small sources of happiness.  That monthly list has paid me dividends over the years and I credit it with helping me through a very dark patch.  Early on, I used the 1st of the month to write a monthly post about something growing in my yard.  Later, the last day of the month became a book review.  Cooking and gardening became regular, if not always monthly features; so did postings about my front porch.  In 2023, I’ve made a plan for other monthly posts: Monthly Nature, Style, Gratitude, and Cooking posts will join the first and last of the month regulars.  In this way, I set myself up with things to write about as I once again manage life as a singleton.  I am a creature of habits; I take pleasure in the ways they structure my days, months, and years.  I expect these new habits to provide a framework for me as I search for peace and gratitude in this next chapter of my life.

Close of the First Week

The first week of school is always a whirlwind of busy halls and energetic students; exciting competing with anxiety to determine who will rule the day.  At my school, the faculty are nearly as excited and that makes for happy and hopeful hallways.  A new school year always feels fresh and full of promise and in this way, I always welcome its arrival.  I am ready for something new.

Right on schedule, Mother Nature brought signs of Fall change.  On Monday, I sat on the back deck and when I looked up at the sky, I saw that old man tree has already begun to change his leaf colors.

Seasonal change is always pretty in my corner of New Jersey and this year is no exception.  Changing colors will help me to embrace the transition to school (and the need to wear shoes!).  Classes started on Tuesday; last night was Back to School Night, and today is Friday.  Sweet, blissful Friday.  That the weekend will be followed by more school is good news.  We’re back and that’s happy!

Civilized Mornings

One of my most cherished habits is my morning coffee.  I grind beans the night before and set my coffee pot on a timer so that fresh-brewed coffee awaits me when I come downstairs in the morning.  I get up early each day to allow time for a leisurely cup or two of coffee.  During the school year, I use the time to get started on the day’s work, while I drink coffee and eat my breakfast.

Each evening, I set up the morning’s mug and creamer.  When I come downstairs, things are ready for me and it feels like a treat.  It’s an easily organized treat that makes my morning pleasing.  It helps me to sustain a quiet space at the start of my day.  Between work and JT’s sports seasons, that day may very well last 12 hours.  I feel civilized when I start my day this way.  That’s happy!