Today in New Jersey: Shirtless edition

The backstory:  On occasion, I document that strange things people in New Jersey do and say.  I call this happy feature “Today in New Jersey” and if I know New Jersey, these reflections will make frequent appearances on this blog.  Today, we’re talking about shirtless men.

The men in New Jersey like to go shirtless, often in their yards but also while walking down the street, and pretty much any time they are outdoors.  I don’t want to body shame here, but let’s just agree these men seem to have few self-esteem issues.  Certainly none that would cause them to keep their shirt on.

Many is the day that I drive through town to see a hairy shirtless man working in his yard, tuning his car, and otherwise hanging out shirtless.  In my most charitable moods, I assume they are over-heated.  In my less charitable moods I want to shout out the window that they should put a damn shirt on.

Today, shirtless men achieved a new low: shirtless but wearing sweatpants.  I think we can rule out overheating as a cause.  This means we are left with the usual explanation: bad taste.

Oh, New Jersey.

Today in New Jersey: Rainstorm edition

The backstory:  It’s about time that I document that strange things people in New Jersey do and say.  We’ll call this happy feature “Today in New Jersey” and if I know New Jersey, it will be making frequent appearances on this blog.  Today, we’re talking about rain storms.

When I arrived at work today, a colleague and I shared a wry laugh at the morning’s traffic.  We had buckets of rain last night and downed tree limbs and overflowing creeks had caused one of our routes to school to be closed.  That put many more cars on the other route, one which featured a traffic circle.  Traffic circles never bring out the best in people and so in addition to being slow, the traffic was angry.  This is a classic New Jersey response.

On the way home, I drove a different route (that’s also classic New Jersey….one route to work and another route home in a brave but futile effort to avoid traffic) and this took me back over the river.  With 4 lanes on the interstate at 3 pm, one should be able to assume that the traffic would move right along.  But not in New Jersey.  Predictably, everyone slowed to look over the bridge at the muddy river below and so we were briefly jammed up.  This happens after every storm and we have a lot of storms.  The river always looks the same after this sort of event —— swollen with debris, muddy, and fast-flowing.  And still we slow, likely all saying the same damn things…“look at the river”…“we sure got a lot of rain”…”would you look at that.”

Oh, New Jersey.