Friday, June 23, 2006

The Pain She Inflicts Upon Herself

So Lisa shows up just before 6 pm last night to take JT to supper. I have a vision of the impatience and tension that will characterize this meal. That's certainly what things were like when the three of us used to go out to supper. But she looks eager to see him and he's willing to go.

When they return almost 2 hours later, he bounds into the house in a festive mood. He's happy to see me, shows no grief at her parting. She stands at the door, suddenly left out of the family tableu. This isn't her home and we aren't her family anymore.

She takes the things I have placed in plastic bags for her. I know that I should say something kind, ease her pain, tell her that it will get easier. But I don't need to provide that comfort anymore. In fact, in leaving our family she was saying that she didn't want my kindness, no longer needed my comfort.

So I gently, but firmly, shut the door as I quietly say to her, "This is what you wanted."

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