Dad

The Backstory: My Dad passed away in February.  Later today, we'll have a celebration of his life and this is the obituary that my sister and I wrote for the celebration.

In the last 20 years of life, pressed to generate a Christmas list, Wayne McMillen sat down at his computer and made some very specific requests.  The things he sought would vary, but often included items like “a small farm in Grafton, Vermont, for Summer living.”  Frequently, he required “effective relief pitching for the St. Louis Cardinals.”  Nearly as often, he advised that he needed “a Democratic victory in the next election.”  On a regular basis, he needed a “headband to keep his hair out of his eyes when gardening.”  The list was a holiday tradition worth opening your e-mail to read.

It was a collection of impossible, intangible, often funny items.  And the intangibles were the point.  Wayne McMillen knew that he was blessed and lucky in this world.  He never forgot that and was forever grateful for it.  His chief blessing came in the form of his grandsons, Cole, Spencer, and JT.  If you asked about those boys, you’d better have some time on your hands.  Wayne was a fiercely, ridiculously proud grandfather and his grandsons know they were loved beyond measure.

With his wife of 58 years, Carol, who spent a good deal of her life being greeted as “his chickadee or his old crow…I can never remember which”, he raised two daughters, Stacy and Kristin.   Born in Louisiana, Missouri, he came west with his family at age 12 and settled in Oak View, California.  He met his wife Carol at Sacramento State – stories vary, but it may very well be that they met when she kicked him out of the women’s dormitory after hours – and they married in 1964.  Together, they lived in Eureka, Hanford, Sacramento, Clovis, and Martinez, California, before settling for good in Clovis in 1975.  Wayne had a fierce affection for Clovis and would hear no words against his adopted hometown.  His family came to believe that he even enjoyed the sweltering heat of a Central Valley summer.  “Good for the tomatoes,” he would remind you.  Wayne had a hobby farm and over the years Carol put up with chickens, an old Alice Chalmers tractor, orange trees, almond groves, and a flock of geese who imprinted on Wayne’s voice and would quack to him when they heard him call “Geese!” in the mornings.  As he spent his first years of life on his grandparents’ farm, his various farming endeavors were a tribute to his true roots.  Wayne loved life on the farm, even the lack of indoor plumbing and electricity.  He did his best to recreate his own, smaller version and we thank Carol for keeping his little farms modern.*In his retirement, Wayne gardened, travelled with Carol, cheered on his grandsons at endless sporting events, and volunteered at HiCAP and the Clovis Senior Center.  He enjoyed his barbeque and smoker, and watched a whole lot of sports and political news.  It is believed that he actually liked to listen to Willie’s Road House on the Sirius XM radio.  Saturday nights were reserved for Molly B’s Polka Party.

Wayne worked in the insurance and risk-management fields for most of his life and had an encyclopedic knowledge of co-pays, co-insurance, deductibles, and all things insurance.  If you had an insurance or Medicare question, he had the answer and he’d happily - and patiently - help you to navigate the red tape.  He never stopped pointing out the errant cord that might trip people, or the poor choices that might expose people to lawsuits.

Wayne passed away in February 2023 after a short illness. He is survived by his wife Carol and daughters Stacy and Kristin and her husband Martin.  His true legacy exists in the form of grandsons JT, Cole and girlfriend Lauren, and Spencer and girlfriend Shyanne.  Also surviving him are his brother John and his sister-in-law Chris, his sister-in-law Valerie, and several nieces and nephews.

Soon after his passing, some peach trees he’d ordered were delivered to the house, additions for this year’s garden.  They were a welcome reminder of the things that mattered to Wayne.  In his memory, his family encourages you to eat a fresh peach, slice a warm tomato, and tell the people you love how much they matter to you.  Wayne would want it that way.