Saturday, December 31, 2011

In Praise of Uncertainty

A few days ago, I pulled together a collection of my favorite photos from 2011; pictures that marked the year that was.  I set it to a soundtrack of my favorite song of all time and then I watched it over and over again.  And I'm me, so I cried as I watched the pictures.  JT came across me, sitting on the sofa with tears coursing down my cheeks.  This is not an unfamiliar sight to my boy; but he still stopped in his tracks, "Are you okay?" he asked.

I'm just fine.  In fact, I'm better than ever.

Six years ago, when my life went to hell in one day, I kept insisting that I could cope better with the adversity if I could just read ahead to the final chapters in the book of my life.  That's not how it works, of course, and I spent a lot of time over those years making peace with uncertainty.  I'm me, of course, so I made my way toward peace reluctantly, sometimes merely dragging my feet and sometimes kicking and screaming.

I started 2011 on the most even footing I've ever been on and that feeling of standing on a solid surface gave me the courage to once again venture into the world of uncertainty.  And then uncertainty brought me love and contentment the likes of which I could have never imagined.  For me, that is the happy story of 2011.  I'd still like to read ahead to see a glimpse of how my story will end, but the foreshadowing of this year has me convinced that there are some happy chapters in the future.  I'll take it.  

Happy 2012, everyone.  May you know blessings and good cheer.

1 comment:

Nichole said...

When you have someone you love by your side, uncertainty isn't so bad. Wishing you immeasurable happiness this year!!