Power and Independence in my Pocket

JT and I ran errands today and now I have a new cell phone. Not going to post the number for all of the world to call but it is a Jersey number.....and wow, taking that step makes me feel so independent, so powerful. I've had a cell phone for years but this is the first I've gotten myself. Loving this feeling and wishing I had the new phone before today.

Cheese Bread

I took a break from my vacation preparations to make lunch this afternoon. It's a dreary rainy day here and so I was looking for some comfort food. Then I remembered cheese bread, which I haven't made for years. Perfect with a salad for me. And JT has found another new food that he likes.

Yummy!

Shut Down

The non-essential government services here in New Jersey have been shut down for a fifth day while the governor and the state legislature wrangle over the state's budget. No one in the legislature wants to admit it, but New Jersey has been on a bit of a spending spree in the last few years, and the time has come to get the state's financial house in order.

The bottom line with the new budget that Governor Corzine proposed is that sales tax will go from 6% to 7%, though it still won't apply to food or clothing. We won't get any property tax relief, which is a pain because property taxes here are pretty high. But for now, while the government staring contest continues, the casinos and state lottery have been shut down and people seem annoyed.

I think of all of this as so much grand-standing, so I am amused. And, if the truth be told, I think that the Governor is trying to do right by the state. I figured that the legislature would cave last night so I am surprised that the fracas continues this morning. Now I wonder if the Governor may start making concessions to the legislature.

I mostly view state politics as a fly in the room ----- you gotta pay attention, but it isn't the really big deal of life. But this week, NJ has stepped up and I'm interested.

Independence Day

My neighbors shut off the street for a 4th of July party every year. This is my second year at the party, but it's been going on for 8 years, a really nice tradition. The neighborhood kids play with squirt guns and water balloons and run and run and run. The grown-ups sit and talk and enjoy catching up with one another.

I made a fruit salad ---- casaba melon and blueberries ---- and grilled some hot dogs for my friends S & T when they came over to check out our tandem-bike and do some vacation planning.

I had a good talk with a friend this morning (a happy surprise that she called) and I made plans for my vacation this afternoon. It's independence day and I'm feeling that way: independent, strong, happy, and good.

Hanging Out with JT's Fairy Godmothers

A and M invited us to their house for the afternoon. They grilled burgers and London Broil, boiled some corn, and A made her yummy cucumber and tomato salad. But the more important thing tonight was the good company. These women are funny and kind, often at the same time. They keep me sane. They make my boy laugh.

The 4th of July was always a family day for me and they made sure that it still is. JT played in the jacuzzi (so did Mama) and we all got to see his now-infamous 'pop goes the weasel' display (where he grabs his backside, shouts "pop goes the weasel" and then laughs like this is the funniest thing ever). I see this display 4 or 5 times a day and most of the time I still laugh.

We ended the night by watching the fireworks over Veteran's Park and when I was a bit crabby with the boy, A took over, keeping him amused and helping to remind me that I can do this single mom job and do it well.

Honestly, they've rescued us so many times in the last month that it seems fair to say that they have become our personal Fairy Godmothers.

All-American Lunch

JT comes home from swimming lessons with a seriously hollow leg. While I made him this sandwich, he ate salsa and chips because he just couldn't wait. I like grilled cheese with a cold glass of milk, but JT just wants "water with ice, Mama."

He inhaled this sandwich, ate half of mine, and then had two mini-cupcakes. He's upstairs now, working off the carbo load with his pirate toys.

Election Time

Although it was never part of my formal scholarship, I have always been interested in Mexican politics. The interest comes from growing up in California and from Professor Gonzales' class in Mexican politics at UCLA. My friend M is reading this and saying to herself that I slept through that class, but I didn't.......

Lately, I've been much more interested in Latin American elections because of the recent rise of a class of leaders who are suspicious of U.S. policies and motives. It's one of the ironies of American foreign policy that we talk a lot about the need to create democracy around the world. We talk the talk, but when those democracies begin to question American policies, we find it much harder to walk the walk. Thus the Bush Administration is worried about the governments of Peru, Venezuela, and Brazil. Will Mexico be next on the list?

First off, it's worth noting that the victory of Vincente Fox's National Action Party seven years ago really did move Mexico into the ranks of nations with a functional two –party system. The PRI no longer runs the show, and that's good for Mexican democracy. Fox's chosen successor, Felipe Calderon, promises to build on Fox's policies, which everyone agrees helped to grow Mexico's middle class. Populist candidate Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, running for the Democratic Revolutionary Party that he helped to found, has been openly critical of Fox and he's taken up a populist cry: that the poor are still being left behind. He's right of course: in Mexico as in the rest of the world, the gap between the rich and the poor is growing, not narrowing.

This morning, the BBC is reporting that the election is to close to call. But I have a good feeling for Lopez Obrador, who was great on the campaign trail and who seems to truly understand the plight of Mexico's underclass, without dismissing the needs of the middle class. I think that is a winning scenario. It's a tough job that he inherits if he wins. But he seems to understand that, which is really half the battle of leading well.

Month One

One month ago today, my partner of 9 years walked out on our life together. For the first 72 hours, I was on auto-pilot, trying to take care of JT and just keep things together. But then I fell apart and there were a lot of tears and there was a lot of sadness. I couldn't imagine how I would get through the day, let alone the week, or the month.

But I have gotten through and honestly I've done so much better than I expected. My friends have been a rock, reminding me that I am a good person, that I am strong, and that she is selfish and a fool. I needed to hear these things. I did my best to make the relationship succeed but she quit trying. I know that's not my fault and when my boy is a man, I will be able to look him in the eye and say I tried my best. I didn't leave him. I will never leave him.

My friend E pointed out to me that a child's life is about firsts. So in this first month, it seems fitting to mark a few of the first things that JT and I have done as we navigate the landscape of our new life together. I rather think that this posting is a celebration of sorts. Because while there has been sadness and anger and tears in this past month, I think that he and I are stronger than ever. And one thing hasn't changed: we are a family founded on love.

JT lost his first (and second!) tooth this month and I got to be the Tooth Fairy both times. We went out to supper without her for the first and second time. I changed the locks on my house (actually T and A changed the locks, but I did make supper afterward). I took JT to the movies by myself. We went to the beach without her for the first time. I have cut the grass (several times) and taken care of my house. JT and I have made plans for our first vacation without her. I fixed the training wheels on JT's bicycle.

Life goes on and time does seem to be healing our hearts. We are having a good summer together and my boy still smiles and laughs every day and I am here to witness it all. JT knows that he is a much-loved child, I've made sure of that. For now, that's more than enough.

A Multi-Faceted Girl

I had a couple of errands to run today. My first stop was the sporting store, to get sleeping mats and a new camp lamp for the upcoming trip to the Cape. Then I stopped by Ulta to get some pony-tail holders (for camping and general pleasure). I strolled the aisles of nail polish and other shiny things and then decided that I needed a new glitter lip gloss (yes, loyal readers, it will go nicely with the glitter eyeliner).

When I got back in the car to come home, I had to laugh. Some kind of lesbian I am: scoring camping supplies and makeup on the same outing.

Mama's Pancake Breakfast

Saturday morning is made for sleeping in. For me, it's about being relaxed, with cartoons on the television and the New York Times spread all over the table. If I'm lucky, I get to listen to NPR for a few minutes. And Saturday morning absolutely demands a good breakfast.

I delivered the goods this morning with pancakes and bacon and a nice big pot of hot coffee (the last was not for the boy). I even warmed up the syrup. JT loves pancakes and bacon and so he was happy. I was happy too ---- it feels good to be taking care of my boy.