One month ago today, my partner of 9 years walked out on our life together. For the first 72 hours, I was on auto-pilot, trying to take care of JT and just keep things together. But then I fell apart and there were a lot of tears and there was a lot of sadness. I couldn't imagine how I would get through the day, let alone the week, or the month.
But I have gotten through and honestly I've done so much better than I expected. My friends have been a rock, reminding me that I am a good person, that I am strong, and that she is selfish and a fool. I needed to hear these things. I did my best to make the relationship succeed but she quit trying. I know that's not my fault and when my boy is a man, I will be able to look him in the eye and say I tried my best. I didn't leave him. I will never leave him.
My friend E pointed out to me that a child's life is about firsts. So in this first month, it seems fitting to mark a few of the first things that JT and I have done as we navigate the landscape of our new life together. I rather think that this posting is a celebration of sorts. Because while there has been sadness and anger and tears in this past month, I think that he and I are stronger than ever. And one thing hasn't changed: we are a family founded on love.
JT lost his first (and second!) tooth this month and I got to be the Tooth Fairy both times. We went out to supper without her for the first and second time. I changed the locks on my house (actually T and A changed the locks, but I did make supper afterward). I took JT to the movies by myself. We went to the beach without her for the first time. I have cut the grass (several times) and taken care of my house. JT and I have made plans for our first vacation without her. I fixed the training wheels on JT's bicycle.
Life goes on and time does seem to be healing our hearts. We are having a good summer together and my boy still smiles and laughs every day and I am here to witness it all. JT knows that he is a much-loved child, I've made sure of that. For now, that's more than enough.
1 comment:
Humans are amazing beings, way more resilient than we usually give ourselves credit. And you are no exception. The grace and general “seize the day and make something good of it” attitude that you and JT exude is an example for all of us. Have an incredible time in MA – I know you will.
Post a Comment