All year long, I’ve reserved the 5th of each month for a post about the places I go for walks. Mostly, I like to walk in the woods and most frequently, I walk in the woods at Colonial Park. Since my hip took its turn to dreadful in August, I haven’t really been able to go for a walk. As I wait for the hip replacement I so desperately need, I’ve become more and more disabled. These days, I can stand for just a few minutes and only walk very short distances. I haven’t been to Colonial Park since September. I could go, of course, and sit on a bench and admire the nature around me, but I have found doing so very sad, not the source of peace and joy that it once was. Deep inside me, is a fury and anger about the way in which denial of healthcare has served to disable me further. Being forced to sit in a place I once walked in is yet another reminder that my life doesn’t matter because I am fat. It’s hard enough to live as I do right now without that reminder. I’m saving my favorite places for that point in the future when I’ve lost enough weight to be allowed a new hip. But trees are my evidence that the universe is splendid and I do take time to admire them. This month, that came in the form of a trip to select our Christmas tree. JT led the adventure, which enabled me to be confident that I could walk and stand long enough. We visited Home Depot at twilight and the rows of balsams and fir trees smelled amazing.
The house smells amazing and soon enough, this gem will have twinkling lights and ornaments. Choosing a tree is one of my favorite Christmas traditions and I’m grateful that JT helped to make it happen this year.
No comments:
Post a Comment