Sunday, September 02, 2007

Busted

After a full day of eating cupcakes from M and a few minutes of crutches practice while D looked on, JT was tired last night. He went to sleep easily and I was relieved. But he awoke a little after 10 pm and was clearly in pain. He cried and was inconsolable for over an hour before he finally fell back asleep and stayed that way.

I've heard plenty of people say that one of the good things about being a single mama is that you get to make all the decisions. That's true and it is sometimes easier to just make the parental call, sans negotiation with another parent.

But the power to decide what to do is a solitary and lonely power when your baby is crying and in pain. And that's when I miss the help and love of another parent. With a partner, you may have to negotiate differences in decision-making, but you also have a companion when the going gets rough. I've said this before but I was reminded of its truth again last night. When my partner and I and JT were a family of three, I felt invincible. There was nothing we couldn't handle. But as a two-some of a mama and a boy, I feel like I'm on less stable footing.

Especially now that JT has broken his leg.

1 comment:

ALM said...

Oh my goodness. I so, so know how you feel. Oftentimes I wish my Ex would just disappear so I could do everything on my own... but then the times they're sick, or scared, or worried... It's hard. YOu're doing an amazing job, though. Keep on plugging!