A few weeks ago, I wrote about the mixed feelings that I have about turning 50. This morning is the big day. One of the nice things about being 50 is that I am both aware and grateful for the many blessings in my life.
I’ve declared a week’s worth of celebrations because I can. Today, the celebration began before dawn with a book from T and handmade card from JT. There’s news of a surprise breakfast at work. I’m starting off strong!
The rest of the day will include going out to supper and opening more presents with T and JT, the people who are the core of my daily world This year, I treated myself to a present in the form of some Rifle Paper notecards and some books from Bas Bleu, two treats that are in perfect alignment with the bookworm girl I’ve been (and plan to be for my next half century).
I think that’s the best gift of being 50….the gift of knowing just who you are and being okay with your quirks and peculiarities. Not just forgiving them but embracing them as the ingredients that make you who you are. Like many women I know, I haven’t always been persuaded of my self-worth. Having a child nearly 18 years ago involved making a pledge to myself to set aside those self-doubts so that they didn’t poison my child’s sense of his self-worth. Often that’s been acting confident even when I didn’t believe in myself. But all those years of a “fake it ’til you make it” approach have paid off and I’m glad of that.
The last 10 years have taught me that I must find hope and happiness where it is. On my darkest days, I always look about to find a moment of grace. Then I acknowledge it and value it. From that point of view developed my habit of declaring things “that’s happy.” I learned the phrase from a children’s book featuring a brother and sister set of bunnies. The littlest one, Willa, says of all the good things in her day, “That’s happy! What else?” I liked the idea that happiness could be everywhere and that we could still expect even more of it and so I embraced it for my own. I find the happy things in my world and I declare it.
Today I have a family and a job that I love, a soft bed and a house that always feels like home, a celebration to enjoy, a good book to read. I’m wearing shiny shoes and a terrific skirt I scored off the bargain rack. There are presents, sweets, and flowers in my world. I know that I am blessed beyond measure. That’s happy!