The Frenzy

No matter how often I remind myself that it will feel this way, the end of the school year is always a frenzied rush of activity followed by days of quiet that always feel bewildering to me.  After weeks and weeks of waking early to a seemingly endless to-do list and hours later  heading to bed exhausted with the to-do list still foremost on my mind, it all abruptly ends and a quiet descends.  

Suddenly, I don’t need to check my e-mail in the early morning to get a head start on the day.  I arrive at work to a desk piled high with the detritus of the last weeks and silent, dark hallways.  It’s the summer and I have the leisure to take time and get a plan for the summer to-do list.  Sometimes, we take a long lunch in the office aware that there are no children to watch over.  Instead of the frenzy and noise of slamming lockers and middle schoolers looking for missing items, there is quiet enough to hear the whir of the air conditioner or the scrape of the front door to the school opening.  At the end of the day, in the mid-afternoon instead of 5 pm, I pack my bag to go home but needn’t bring any work with me.  Instead, I have hours to read from my own collection of books or work in the garden.

I’m not complaining; far from it.  I look forward to the summer break all year long.  But I do wonder if there is a way for me to balance out the frenzy.  It’s hard for me to transition from busy 18 hours days to time enough to sleep an extra hour, watch a movie from start to finish, to have a nap.  I quiet my mind by reading and cooking, trying out new recipes that take longer to prepare but offer the promise of time at the table with my family.  In the twilight of the evening, I stretch my legs out on the ottoman so that the cats will settle on my lap as T and I discuss our day and make plans for the days ahead.

June is like two separate and entirely different months.  The first third, busy with the frantic close of the school year.  And then the second two-thirds, lovely with  a sense of leisure and endless time to accompany days that are still adding sunlight with each rotation of the earth.  I’d like to bring some of the relaxation of the second two-thirds to the frenzy that is the first third.  And right now I have the leisure to solve that problem.