July Style Journal: Easy Sandals

It is a well-known fact that I love flip flop sandals and, given the chance, I would wear them all year long.  However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve found that the standard flip flop sandal doesn’t offer nearly enough arch support for my aging feet.  Can I wear sub-standard flip flops?  Yes, yes I can.  Will I pay the price for this decision?  That is also a yes.  I have a few pairs of high-quality (read: pricey) flip flops but when my most favorite pair suffered a worn out toe post, panic ensued. 

Then, I discovered these sandals.  

They aren’t flip flops, though they share the ease of flip flops and I love wearing them.  I've began to wonder if my love of flip flops is the fact of the toe post or is simply the ease of putting them on…….mind blown, Internet.  Here’s to the ease of summer sandals without an ankle strap.  It doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like flip flops, but I can’t have everything.

Style Journal: In Praise of Gauze Everything

Last week - the last week of the school year - we had some blazing hot afternoons.  I have recess duty every day after lunch and the kids play and hang out on the school’s turf field.  The temperature of a turf field in the full sun of a hot day approximates what I imagine the surface of the sun feels like.  Thank the heavens for my gauze skirt, a recent acquisition that has become my go-everywhere; do-everything favorite piece of clothing.  It’s lightweight, it’s slightly textured but still a single color, it’s navy blue, and it has pockets. *Hallelujah! *I wear my gauze skirt nearly every week and my mind has already packed it for all of my Summer travel plans.  I see gauze clothes everywhere these days and I find myself wondering how we ever lived without this warm-weather essential.  While the days are hot, bring me all the gauze clothes.

Style Journal: Making My Peace with Pants

 As an adolescent - really as a tween - I learned that some clothes and styles were off-limits because of my weight.  Once the dreaded "not flattering" concern was uttered by my mom and grandmother, extreme self-consciousness set in.  A fear of being too fat, and therefore unworthy, took hold.  I remember dieting at the age of 12 when I weighed all of 125 pounds and was 5’3”.  After age 12, I didn’t go to public places where swimsuits were being worn.  Rather than reject the message that I was unworthy because of my body, I molded my life around the limits sent by that message.  For more than 25 years, I mostly refused to wear pants or shorts because I could not stand my appearance in them.  This avoidance continued long after a therapist explained to me that I have body dysmorphia.  She helped me to develop the tools to manage the feelings brought on by the dysmorphia and though I still experience an inaccurate view of my physical appearance, I understand it to be a thing that I don’t have to believe or accept.  So the dysmorphia exists away from my sense of self.  

All of this is relevant because my current disabled status has made pants a rather valuable asset in my world.  In the Winter, I wear tights with skirts and dresses.  But as my hip disability has worsened, the process of putting on tights in the morning became difficult and then unbearable.  This  weekend, I gave up Winter tights in exchange for pants.  They are loose-fitting pants - in a size too large, as is my way - but putting them on is manageable and doesn’t aggravate my crummy hip.  I think that the transition to pants has been made easier by the abundance of wide-leg styles.  I regularly buy clothes that are too big (see: coping with body dysmorphia) and wide-leg pants are a style gift.  I like them in various forms, though especially soft, flowy knits — pants my sister has named “dress sweats.” I think I will love them even after my hip has been fixed.  I’ll not call that the silver lining of the misery - there is not silver lining enough for what I’ve been through - but it is something.  

Style Journal: Sassafras Shelf

My first house, in Nebraska, had a beautiful fireplace with a mission-style oak mantle.  I loved the mantle and enjoyed decorating it.  The items on it reflected all sorts of seasonal decor: flowers in the Summer, pumpkins in the Fall, Christmas stockings and greenery, my collection of hand-carved bunnies in the Spring.  My first house in New Jersey did not have a fireplace or a mantle and an antique table in the living room served as an improvised mantle of sorts.  Sassafras House, which has been home since 2006, has beautiful chestnut wood work and oak floors but there is not a fireplace or mantle.  The antique table wouldn’t fit in the living room and over the years I have improvised a place for seasonal decor.  Sometimes I used the wood radiator cover in the living room front window.  For a few years, I had a mantle shelf.  But I have been on the hunt for a better set up.  For years, the shelf below the TV held the cable box and DVR.  When I gave those up for Roku streaming, it freed up the shelf.  And just like that I had my mantle equivalent.  This month, it has some of the wooden houses in my collection and light from a digital candle that flickers in a hobnail glass jar.  As the seasons change, I enjoy planning a new display for the shelf, which has become a little corner of happy in my world.

Style Journal: The Bullpen

For as long as I can remember, I’ve used part of my Sunday to set me up for success in the week ahead.  On Sunday, I change my sheets, plan for the suppers I’ll make in the week ahead, and organize my calendar for the week.  Each of these tasks is helpful but the best of my Sunday traditions is setting up the bullpen.  Each Sunday, I plan the clothes I will wear in the coming week.  I organize, steam or iron as necessary, and then hang them up on my closet door, ready for the early mornings that the week will bring.  Sweaters are hung up or folded and set at the ready on my dresser.  On Sundays, I tuck into bed grateful that the bullpen will steer me right come morning. 

As the week progresses, and the bullpen is less full, I know that the weekend is getting closer, which is also a pleasing side effect of my bullpen tradition.  This habit has served me well over the years, and I especially like this element of my organized life.

Style Journal: Soft Nightgowns

As the weather begins to cool, my need for cozy nightwear grows.  In keeping with my preference to never wear pants, I am not the pajama type.  But I love a nightgown.  When I was a little girl, my grandma would give me a Lanz flannel nightgown for Christmas.  They had ruffles and pretty prints and I loved them.  Though I still have a soft spot for flannel, the idea of sleeping in flannel makes me sweat.  These days, I love Lands End long-sleeved cotton nightgowns.  They are soft and cozy, and each year has at least a few prints that I like.  I especially like small prints and my current favorite has all the trappings of a cozy morning.  

The nightgowns wash like a dream.  Just the thought of putting mine on at the end of a busy day makes me happy.  Here’s to feeling cozy.

Style Journal: The Close of the Flip Flop Season

As warm weather gradually comes to an end, I am reluctantly packing up my flip flops for the season.  This is a transition I never really enjoy, not only because the ease of flip flops are gone but because now my feel must be encased in shoes.  The first few weeks of this transition are not easy for me and as soon as I get home from school, I immediately remove my shoes.  This year’s transition is more complicated than usual because of my wonky hip, which really demands that I wear sneakers or some other very practical shoe.  I am not averse to comfortable shoes - far from it - but I do love a slip-on mule or sandal.  Suffice it to say last’s weeks tumble demonstrated that slip-on shoes and I must take a break from one another.  And so I have mostly been wearing sneakers and - naturally - resenting that reality.  Nearly everything about my wonky hip is a challenge to my sense of self.  From its limits on my ability to walk around and do as I please to its requirement that I ask for help, the constraints placed upon me have been a challenge that I am still finding my way around.  I’ll note that my progress is slow and not always tinted with kindness toward myself.  Everything about this hopefully temporary disability feels that way and I long for a return to some kind of pain-free normal.

Style Journal: In Praise of Cardigan Sweaters

I love a cardigan sweater.  There is something about them that meets all my style requirements: Casual, dressy, and everything in-between, the cardigan sweater has your back.  Literally.  

Worn buttoned up with just the top button undone and a necklace peeking through: classic and dressy enough for most occasions.  Worn over a matching shell:  a twin set will never be wrong.  Tossed over a t-shirt with a casual denim skirt: cute and casual to meet the day’s requirements.  When you grow up in California, the idea of sweaters feels like a choice that will see you through one short season: Winter. But in my East Coast world, a cardigan is a four-season affair.  I have several, in colors and fabric weights to meet whatever demands I make of them.  

I thought of this when I was in Vermont for a few days off earlier this week.  At the last minute, I threw my light blue three-quarter sleeve cotton cardigan in my bag.  It was handy in the evenings on the back deck of the cabin we stayed; cozy over my nightgown in the morning, and welcome during our rainy day adventures in town.  This sweater is the utility infielder of my Spring and Summer closet.  The color goes with anything - plain and simple without being boring.  I feel just a smidge more put-together when it’s in my bag or draped over my shoulders.  My inner preppy is always best-pleased by its tidy, stylish presence. 

That's happy!

Style Journal: My Summer Shoe of Choice

 I love flip flops.  

I know that love is a big word and I mean every bit of it.  Between-the-toe flip flop sandals (known to me as “thongs” when I was a child...and that word is a story for another day) are literally a source of never-ending joy to me.  Everything about them is splendid - the way they are casual; the way that they ensure my feet get maximum sunlight and outdoor space; the fact that they are so easy to slip on, the way they stay on as because of the toe post…I could go on and on.  

I wear them all year, though in Winter I only wear them inside.  Come warmer weather - and for me that is any day forecast to bring temperatures over 60 - I wear them indoors and outdoors for as much time as possible.  In the Summer, they are my style of choice and my diverse collection ensures that I am have a pair that match every outfit I choose to wear.  And in my estimation, that is the very definition of happiness.   

Style Journal: Morning Coffee Service at Sassafras House

I am a big fan of doing the little things that make life objectively nicer.  There are plenty of examples of this habit of mine, but none stands out as much as morning coffee service at Sassafras House.  

Every night, I grind coffee beans and set up the coffee pot for the next morning’s coffee service.  That includes a coffee mug and a pitcher or jug for cream, both set on a pretty table linen next to the coffee pot which is programmed to brew the coffee right before I come downstairs in the morning.  This month’s service is a flag-themed mug set on a chambray linen.  

I change linens and mugs seasonally and over the years I’ve collected linens for every season; many of them are from second-hand stores.  They are always accompanied by a generously-sized mug. I enjoy making my mornings just a little nicer, and this habit does that quite well, making my daily life just a little prettier in the process.  

Style Journal: Outdoor Living

Come May, I begin to organize the front porch and back deck for the outdoor living season.  Well before May, I am daydreaming about being outside with my face turned toward the light and warmth.  Both the porch and the deck expand the reach of my home and offer a comfortable place to read and relax.  

I have a collection of house flags and I decorate the table on my front porch for every season.  But I pull out all the stops for Summer, which starts when I choose two hanging baskets for the iron hooks on the porch pillars.   

Then I fill the plant stand by the front door with flowers.  This year, I’ve a collection of bright pink geraniums and lighter pink impatiens.  The hanging baskets have heartier New Guinea impatient in a shade of purple.  The front porch is large enough to house all of my houseplants for the summer and they thrive in the warmth and shaded sunlight of the Summer season.  There’s a rocking chair and I will spend hours here in the next few months, reading, resting, and generally enjoying the company of my flowers and houseplants.  

The back deck looks out onto my lush backyard and the fairy garden.  Under the limbs of old man tree, the deck has shade enough to remain cool for big chunks of the day.  

A few years ago, I used my Covid teaching bonus to buy some Polywood chairs and they get a lot of use in the Summer, tucked into the corner and perfect for napping in the sunshine.  

We eat many a grilled meal at this table.  

The back deck also gets flowers.  This year, I started with some pots of begonias to keep me company as I wait for the canna bulbs and zinnia flowers to bloom.  This year, I have five pots of zinnias…..it’s probably too many but I have daydreams of being surrounded by the flowers and I’m looking forward to Mason jars full of zinnia bouquets.

The older I get, the more I love outdoor living.  For most of the cold weather season, I look forward to the days when I can sleep with the windows open and sip my morning coffee outside, where I find peace.  I'm determined to soak up that peace this Summer and that is very happy to contemplate.

Style Journal: Sassafras Spring

I always welcome Winter when it shows its cards.  I value the reminder to pause and rest, tucked inside away from the cold.  I eagerly take up the invitation to haul out my Winter goods.  I have enough Winter clothing to keep me cozy and warm on the coldest of days, even outdoor recess with temps below 35.  Inside, I have warm bedding, an abundance of throw blankets, and a wealth of twinkling lights to greet the season of darkness and cold.  

But no matter how much cozy I can summon and enjoy, the arrival of February has me thinking about Spring.  Sometimes I blame the cold and the darkness for my recurring daydreams of warmth; sometimes I blame the Spring garden catalogs that fill my mailbox come mid-January.  Sometimes it’s just a longing for the ease of stepping outdoors without the advance-planning of shoes, coats, mittens, hats, scarves and the knowledge that despite the layers, the cold will still take my breath away. 

Come the last days of February, I scan the 10-day weather forecast with a keen eye, looking for two or three days in a row above 45 degrees to warrant an announcement that Spring has arrived.  This will be an announcement that only I will make and only I will embrace.  I call it Sassafras Spring and, like Spring itself, it will be both arbitrary and capricious.*Dark Winter coats and sweaters and warm Winter tights are banished and packed away, replaced by pink and coral sweaters, canvas sneakers, and a sky blue coat…all warm enough to get me through the cold of early Spring but bright enough for me to pretend that Winter is over.  I’ll haul out an abundance of Spring scarves, in colors bright enough to signal the season of growth but still warm enough to keep me from shivering.

This year, Sassafras Spring was declared on March 1, far too early to be sensible, of course.  But just in time to cheer me up.  

Style Journal - Living Room Update

My living room furniture was already well-used when the pandemic struck.  The extra time at home hastened its demise.  T didn’t want to buy new furniture while we still had a cat in the home and there was some logic to that argument, though it left us with worn out and increasingly uncomfortable furniture.  When she left, so did the logic that kept me from nice furniture in my living room.  To me, a home needs to be comfortable and cozy and the furniture should help to create that vibe.  So it is that I have a new sofa, chair, and ottoman. 

The old sofa was chocolate brown, which was warm and cozy in the Winter but felt rather dark in the Summer.  

The new furniture is in shades of blue - my favorite color - and I am incredibly pleased with how it fits in the room.  Things are still cozy for the Winter and in the Summer I think that the room will feel more cool.

I will spend a whole lot of time reading in this comfortable corner of the room, surrounded by my books and the light from the windows. 

There are new pillow covers and window treatments to accompany the furniture.  My mom made the valences out of fabric from Rifle Paper, which I love.  There was enough left over for some extra pillow covers, and my handy seamstress ran those up for me. 

Lucy’s window corner got an updated rug that brings me a smile every time I pass by. 

This room is very much an expression of me and it makes me glad to be at home.  I am best pleased by it all. 

Style Journal: Believing in Myself

 I like silver jewelry and wear a few pieces on the regular.  A few years after I became a single parent, as my grief receded and I settled into a routine that I enjoyed, I bought myself a chunky silver ring that was inscribed “believe in yourself.”  It was a timely reminder both of how far I had come and the path ahead.  I wore it all the time, on whatever finger I wanted, but often on my left hand ring finger, as if to signal to the world that I belonged to someone.  

Over time, I grew more comfortable with an empty left hand ring finger and I moved the “believe in yourself” ring to my right hand.  I wear it always and feel half-dressed and unprepared to face the world if I somehow forget to slip it on my finger. 

A few years into my relationship with T, we picked out matching silver bands that we each wore on our left hand.  I never took my ring off and liked both the feel and the look of the glinting silver band.  It was a sign that I mattered to someone; that I was chosen.  I liked the feeling and signal of the ring, even as the relationship began to crumble and no longer offered a sense of unconditional love or being chosen.  It had become a symbol of what once was and what I hoped might return.  With a combination of sadness and relief, I took the ring off when we separated. 

My now-bare finger showed the groove of the ring I had worn for so long.  The empty finger was more than I could bear and I wondered what I should do next.  For my birthday,  I had bought myself a curated mystery box from GLDN.  It arrived on November 7, the day after the blow-up.  Among the surprises was a silver band stamped with bumble bees, the kind that pollinate the flowers that make life so glorious in the Spring and Summer.  Those bees and that band seemed like a sign from the universe.  Reasoning that all the fingers on my hands belong to me, I slipped the ring onto my left hand and I’ve worn it ever since. *On my left hand, the bees keep watch.  On my right hand, I am reminded to believe in myself.  What the rings symbolize to the world, I can’t say.  What they symbolize to me is that I am strong and worthy; that I deserve to exist and that I am enough.