Gratitude Journal: Making It Count

I’ve fallen dreadfully behind in my writing goals for this month and the only excuse I can offer is that thanks to my bum hip, I am behind on everything.  It is no joke to live with pain like I am experiencing and the discomfort blends into every part of life.  For starters, though it’s predictable that my hip will hurt, how it will ache is not predictable at all.  Will the pain be on my right?  In  my groin?  Radiating down my thigh?  Will a formerly comfortable chair now be absolute torture?  Can I stand up easily or will such an action be accompanied by excruciating discomfort?    It is both frustrating and terrifying to be limited in this fashion.  It’s also made my daily gratitude practice more essential than ever.  

Finding gratitude in the rhythm of the day helps to ease my fears as I wait for medical science to help me navigate a solution.  It reminds me that even if things are harder right now, it’s still worth my time to try and do them.  So I cut the grass when I feel up to it; I reorganize the front porch plants at the start of the month; I make time for home-cooked suppers eaten on the back deck.  I keep trying and I am grateful for the support of the people who love me and are helping me to find my way.  For that show of affection and support, I am as grateful as I can be.

Relieved

T and I spent the week nursing her stitched and casted arm and, as the days passed, nervously awaiting the doctor’s call with the pathology news.  Our expectation was that the removed tumor was benign but confirmation of that confidence was much-desired.  By Thursday, we were nervous whenever her phone beeped.  As Friday closed with no news, we steeled ourselves for a weekend of uncertainty.  Then her phone rang on Saturday and the news was good — all benign.

Saturday was a lovely day, with milder temperatures, lower humidity, and the kind of breeze that suggests fall in the air.  The good news made a lovely day even better.  It felt - it feels - like we can take a deep breath and plan the coming months.  We are relieved and glad, of course, and all the more aware of blessings received.  That's happy, so very happy.

Nervous Energy

Right after we dropped JT off, T had surgery on her left arm to remove an unwelcome lump.  It’s likely to be a benign lipoma, but while we await the pathology report and she recovers from the surgery (complete with a nearly 4 inch incision and a left arm totally casted for the first week of recovery), I have a lot of nervous energy to burn off while I serve as her nurse.

Enter cooking, my traditional task for showing my affection.

I’ve roasted chicken for T.  I baked a tomato pie with garden tomatoes and made zucchini pancakes with local produce.  This afternoon, I’ve stirred together an amazing summer corn chowder recipe that cooks in the crock pot.  We’ll have that for supper alongside some grilled bacon-wrapped shrimp.  Later this afternoon, I’ll bake some brownies.

Tomorrow, I plan to make toasts with chèvre, radish, and scallions, one of those easy combinations that tastes far more amazing than the time that goes into it.  We’ll enjoy it with leftovers from the week and the taste will remind me to stop and enjoy these last days of summer.  

I always enjoy cooking.  Unlike most things in my life, it’s work that usually ends in a finished product, which I suspect is much of the enjoyment I derive from it.   It’s something I can do while T heals and we try not to fret.  It’s my way of showing love and burning off energy.

It’s also delicious and that’s happy!

Real Life Texts with KO: Latin edition

The backstory: A few weeks ago, my sister KO took an unfortunate spill.  The result is a pretty serious foot and ankle injury.  It happened at work, which means workmen's comp (an alternate universe whereby your suffering is greeted by a giant medical "meh" while the medical folks drag their feet and you contemplate life with permanent pain).   Two painful weeks into the injury, she's finally gotten closer to a diagnosis, though not a cure.  Pain not withstanding, she has retained her sense of humor.

KO: Broken navicular and talus. You can look that up and send me a Google treatment plan.

Me:  Talus sounds like an STD. Is there something you aren't telling me?

KO:  It's in the same STD family as clematis and shimera.

Note: Every time I mention my clematis vine, my sister makes a disparaging remark about the word clematis, suggesting that I live a less than clean lifestyle.  And shimera is a brand of undies carried by Nordstrom that I have been known to both purchase and disparage. 

Here's hoping that the good-humored KO gets a decent doctor and the repairs necessary to take those new shoes in her closet for a spin. 

Sassafras Ivy

When I showed JT the poison ivy rash I've acquired in the crook of my elbow, his response pretty well summed it up, "It sucks to be you."

As any mother would be, I'm touched by his level of concern.  The rash seems to be confined to one spot and is just the sort of reward I should have expected for my efforts to remove weeds from the overgrown flower bed in the backyard.  Someone pass me the cortisone.

Hive Central

For the past week, JT has had a case of hives every day.  Memorably, if not happily, on one day he got hives twice.  They always respond to Mama's little helper: Benedryl.  Though as a long-term strategy, the sleep-inducing effects of Mama's little helper may be less than helpful.

I've wracked my brain and created a hive journal, tracking their development, in an effort to figure things out.  He's gotten them at home, at school, and out-on-the-town; during the day and at night; around pets and without pets at hand; in times of stress and relaxation.  There is no obvious trigger.  The doctor shrugged and called them "idiopathic" which I gather is Latin for "I have no f*&%ing clue."

For now, he'll take a low-level antihistamine that should help to keep the hives at bay. If the hives turn up uninvited we'll send them packing with Mama's little helper (and a nap).  And I'll continue to rack my brain for clues to this little mystery. 

Friday morning hives update: Thanks for the tips and support; we're still searching for the trigger.  But JT has been on the Zyrtec for 48 hours......and no hives since Wednesday morning. And now that I've put that in print, the hives they will return.