Real Life Conversations at School: Middle School Wisdom edition

The backstory: As we wind down the school year, my 8th grade class had an in-class work day for their final project.  Long ago, I learned that workdays are more functional with a soundtrack of music and so I loaded up a playlist.  The first song that came on was my most favorite song of all time, “More Than This” by Roxy Music. I put the class on warning. 

Me:  This is my favorite song of all time.  If you hate it, keep that opinion to your self. 

Student K: Do you remember when you first heard it?  

Me:  I do.  I was in college in my frosh dorm and someone played the album.  I’d heard the song once before but hadn’t heard it since on the radio….my hometown did not have a radio station that played that kind of music and so I wasn’t sure who sang the song.  When I heard it the second time, I wrote down the name of the band and the album and I bought a copy.  I’ve loved it ever since.

Student K: It’s your soulmate song.  That’s such a nice feeling, isn’t it? 

Me: What a wonderful phrase.  I will think of it forever.  Well said, K. 

Internet, don’t believe that Middle Schoolers are moody and difficult.  They are amazing, delightful, and brilliant.

Real Life Conversations with Middle Schoolers, Bullying edition

The backstory:  We are studying George Washington’s presidency and I explained to my class the issues that drove the Jay Treaty.  Discussing British refusal to evacuate the West or stop impressment of American sailors, I characterized British actions as if they were a bully.

Me:  So it’s like England was giving a young United States a wedgie and then jamming the U.S. into a locker.

Student R:  Oh man….America needs to tell an adult.

At that, we all burst into laughter.  And, as a happy aside….we all understand the problems and perils of the Jay Treaty.

Real Life Conversations with M: Historical edition

The backstory:  We are using a new (and incredibly powerful!) computer program to draft Middle School class assignments for the next school year.  As we learn how it works, the school’s tech support staff has been instrumental.  My boss and I know kids and parents; our tech guy, the very patient and clever M, knows the computer program.  Together we are sorting out what needs to happen.  Reflecting on a particular scheduling conundrum that might be a challenge to explain to a parent, I made a suggestion that I have made before:

Me:  Children should be raised by wolves.

Mike: It worked for Romulus & Remus.

Boom.  Also: new plan.

Real Life Conversations with 7th Graders: Priorities edition

The backstory: One of my Assistant Principal responsibilities is to be a presence at school events.  Sometimes that means cheering on the cross country runners; on other days that means sitting with the Middle School choir during the Spring Choir Concert, as I did on Thursday evening.  The event is at an old chapel on campus at Rutgers University.  Our Middle School Choir sings and also watches as various Upper School Choirs perform.  The performance is one thing and in their starched white shirts and black skirts and pants they are both cute and nervous as they sing.  Afterward, when their portion of the concert is complete, they file back into the church pews on the side of the chapel.  Then the madness really begins.  They know they should sit still, keep quiet, and be a good audience but they find it nearly impossible to do so.  On Thursday, in addition to the more-than-occasional shush, I seized a few cell phones.  After the event, 7th grader A asked if he could have his phone back.  I invited him for a conversation.

Me:  Buddy, there were students perfuming as their families watched.  It’s rude to be on your phone.  What were you doing?

A (in earnest assurance):  I was checking the NFL draft to see who the Cleveland Browns got to pick.  

In my mind, I wanted to say, “You’re a 7th grader, not the fucking president of the Cleveland Browns.”  But I know this child and I especially know the concerns of 7th grade boys.  Chief among them are their sports teams.  I know that A is not the president of the Cleveland Browns but A, all of 4’7” of him, well, he isn’t quite so sure.  So rather than shout or offer the obvious, we ended our conversation in a different fashion.

Me:  I get it, but checking your phone while students perform is rude.  You need to be a good audience and keep your fingers crossed that things go well for the Browns.

7th grade is often the the most difficult part of adolescence, a churning sea of anxiety and frustration.  Voices and bodies are rapidly changing (or they aren’t and that’s a burden of a different sort), emotions swing wildly, and insensitivity abounds.  My job is to be the steady anchor on this ship of fools, to be compassionate and empathetic, and to kindly direct them as we sail through it together.  Lucky for me, there are plenty of opportunities to laugh and smile as we navigate the storms.  As for the Cleveland Browns, well, A is on the job.  They should be just fine.  

Real Life Conversations at School: Politics edition

The backstory:  I have a collection of political buttons dating back to the 1940s and they hang in my office.  Each year, I pull out a few to display on my bulletin board.  I also add current buttons to the collection and recently, some 2016 Hillary Clinton buttons were added to the bulletin board.  Looking at the board, my colleague S had some questions.

S:  Is the JFK button valuable?

Me:  Yes, though my most valuable button is “Pretty Girls for Nixon.”  

(oh, culture wars)

Me:  I won’t buy any Trump buttons, so I’m using Goldwater as a stand-in.

S:  Goldwater?  I was 10 when Goldwater ran and he was not popular in my house.  But in comparison to Trump, Goldwater is a delight.

I can’t argue with that.

Real Life Conversations at School: the Strength of Hope edition

The backstory:  7th grade history class is closing in on the start of the Civil War and the students are exploring the events of the 1850s.  We started with the Compromise of 1850 and then marched our way forward: publication of Uncle Tom’s Cabin; the Kansas-Nebraska Act; Bloody Kansas; the beating of Senator Sumner on the floor of the U.S. Senate; and yesterday’s topic, the Dred Scott ruling. The words of Justice Taney in that ruling, declaring enslaved people to be property and not citizens and invalidating the right of Congress to end slavery, are racist and profoundly unsettling to an audience of diverse and tolerant 7th graders.  They were not amused and sought to wrap their minds around the details and its consequences.  

Student D:  Did enslaved people ever lose hope and take their own lives?  

Me:  I don’t know of any stories of people taking their own lives.  Remember that we’ve talked about the fact that faith was a profound comfort to many people living in slavery.

Student D:  They were so strong, weren’t they?  Talk about living in hope!

We’re headed to a short-term happy ending of sorts in the form of emancipation.  But I suspect there’s a longer term happy ending also in sight in the form of twelve and thirteen year olds prepared to truly understand the very complicated history of race in the United States.  

I’ll take it.

Real Life Conversations at School: Searching for Hope edition

The backstory:  7th grade history curriculum covers the first half of U.S. history, from colonial settlement to the Battle of Gettysburg, which is the turning point of the Civil War.  8th grade starts with the Gettysburg Address, finishes out the Civil War and explores into the 20th century.  The 8th grade teacher and I planned our courses together so that mine informs what follows.  We identified a handful of central themes for the courses; race in the United States is central to our studies..

The period I teach is fully involved with slavery and though we will end just after the Emancipation Proclamation, that’s in May and it’s a very long time for 12 and 13 year olds to wait for some kind of happy ending to a pretty unpleasant story.  Moreover, the arc of the slavery story isn’t one that is always headed to the light.  From the moment I introduce the topic to the point where we explore the outbreak of the Civil War I remind my classes that, “slavery gets worse before it gets better.”

We’re currently studying the early Industrial Revolution (1820s or so) and the widespread use of the cotton gin.  That’s the point where both the institution of slavery and the rhetoric in support of it get a lot more hateful; the “worse” part of the story.  7th graders are notoriously self-absorbed and nearly all of their emotions are intense.  But they are also capable of stepping outside themselves to understand the world and because of this they are well-poised to spend some time with some very uncomfortable realities of our American story.    Last week, we were looking at the growth of slavery in the United States.  During this period, the population of enslaved people grew from 750,000 in 1789 to nearly 4 million by 1860 and this at a time when foreign importation of enslaved people had stopped.    Enter uncomfortable realities and my explanation, including the fact that children born to enslaved women were automatically considered slaves themselves.  And then I issued my usual reminder….

Me:  Remember, slavery gets worse before it gets better.

Student E (with annoyance in her voice):  You know, I’m just getting really tired of that phrase.

We all paused and smiled; E had spoken our collective mind.  Upon reflection I realized that E’s mixed race family, including a younger sister who is a different race than E, makes her especially aware of the nuances of race, birth, and identity.  Her honesty informed all of us and provided a much-needed moment of levity as we explored a painful topic.  But for me, it’s also a reminder that 12 and 13 year olds are looking for signs of hope.  They’ve yet to fully realize that they are the people who will get to write many of those hopeful and happy endings.  But I realize it and with young people like E in charge of our destiny, I know we’re going to be just fine.

Real Life Conversations at School: Girl Power edition

The backstory:  My 7th graders are working with historical documents from the Louisiana Purchase era, including a series of letters President Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Senate about the purchase.  They are reading and analyzing the documents and trying to understand both how the documents  help us to understand the time period we’re studying and its differences with our own time period.  The letters are addressed to “Gentlemen of the Senate,” and one of the groups (3 boys and 1 girl, student M) were perplexed…..were there not “Ladies of the Senate” in 1803?

Me:  No.  Remember, women were not permitted to vote and they would not have been allowed to serve in the Senate had they sought to do so.  Women got the right to vote in 1920 (I opted not to explain Jeanette Rankin…..this group was already rather stunned).

M:  How many women are in the Senate now?

Me:  Well, how about you take a guess?  How many Senators are there?

Quick math revealed that there are 100 senators.

M:  50.  I think there are 50 women in the Senate.

Me (gently now, because this bright girl has no earthly notion of sexism or discrimination against women because of their gender):  There are 20 women in the Senate.

At this point, all the air left the room, as M looked at me and considered what she had just been told.

Me (still gentle but feeling like this reality must be understood):  That’s the most women who have ever served in the Senate.

M (looks at me intently):  Well, that’s a reason to support Hillary Clinton for president, isn’t it?

Me:  Yes, M, it is indeed.  It is indeed.

Real Life Conversations at School: Career Advice from a Four Year Old edition

The backstory:  You have read before about my friend S’s daughter P, known to me and the world she will shortly conquer as Baby Hot Sauce.  Earlier this week, she stopped by my office on her way home from school and gave me some career advice.

P:  You should get a TV in here (points to the wall).

Me:  A TV?  Why?

P:  Then you can watch what the kids are doing all the time from a camera.

Me:  I don’t need a camera.  I can just look through the doorway, down the hall.  

P:  Yeah, but if you had a camera you’d also be able to see my class.

Me:  I’m sure that your teacher has that covered, sweet pea.

P:  Maybe.

In hindsight, she might have been giving me a warning about the handful headed my way in a few years  I can’t say I wasn’t warned.

Real Life Conversations at School: Laugh More Often edition

The backstory:  My 7th graders are creating American history-themed amusement parks as their final class project.  By necessity, this means discussions of their favorite amusement park rides.  Student G has even greater ambitions.

G:  You can rent all of Hurricane Harbor (a local water park) for yourself and I’d like to do that some day.

S:  For yourself?  Wouldn’t that be….(and here I pause to consider my word choice…..I’m thinking of lonely or overwhelming or quiet or something but G quickly filled the gap).

G:  Awesome?

At which point I burst into laughter and the startled class started laughing along with me.  When we caught our breath R said, “You’ve never laughed like that before.”  I think that I laugh like that all the time but now I’ve made a mental note: laugh more often with the 7th grade.

Real Life Conversations at School: Cyber Security edition

The backstory:  I’ve a colleague who is a dad-on-his own with two kids: G, a clever 1st grader, and P, a handful of a three year old, also known in our hallways as Baby Hot Sauce, a name that nicely conveys the whirlwind that is P.  I see them often, storming the halls of the Middle School on their way to their Lower School classrooms and generally wreaking havoc as 3 and 7 year olds are wont to do.  I find them charming.  Yesterday, they were in their car seats and ready to roll out for the evening when their dad realized he needed a ruler for G’s homework.  He ran back inside to fetch the ruler and I kept watch of P and her brother.  I leaned into the car and we talked.

Me:  How was your day?

G:  Good (involved with some toy and not all that interested in me).

P:  Good (playing with an outdated cell phone and plenty willing to chat).

Me:  Who do you talk to on your phone, P?

P:  My dad.  My mom.  You.  (Note that P and I don’t talk on the phone with one another).

Me:  Oh yeah?  What do you talk about?

P (looks at me intently):  What’s your password?

The NSA has some competition from Baby Hot Sauce.  And the safe money is on Agent BHS.

Real Life Conversations with the 7th Grade: Swarm edition

The backstory: Typically, our Middle School students wait outside the classroom if their teacher isn’t in the room.  Since 12 and 13 year olds are notoriously loud and self-absorbed, if a teacher isn’t careful, that means a swarm of kids jammed at the door, blocking the hallway.  Most teachers encourage the kids to line up instead and by universal agreement, Mr. S, who teaches math, is the best at managing this process.  Earlier this week, my 7th graders were waiting for me,  loudly blocking the entire hallway, as they are wont to do.  I greeted them and sought order.

Me:  Line up, folks, I want to be just like Mr. S.

(assorted students scramble into a sadly disorganized line).

Me:  Seriously, why can’t my lines be like Mr. S’s lines?  I want to be like S!

JZ (quiet student at the front of the line):  So, more math homework?

I laughed out loud as the class filed in.  There’s worse ways to spend my days.

Real Life Conversations at School: Bankers edition

The backstory:  My 6th graders are studying Medieval Europe and are designing their own coat of arms.  As part of that process, we learned about the symbols, colors, and themes of medieval heraldry.  This entailed exposure to some new words.

Student K:  What does fidelity mean?

Me:  It means that someone is honest, faithful, and trustworthy.

Student T:  Oh, that’s why banks use it in their names.

Student M:  Banks?  They aren’t trustworthy at all.  They shouldn’t use that word to describe themselves.

This declaration was accepted as fact by the class.  Banks, take note: the 6th grade knows what you have done and they don’t approve.

Real Life Conversations in Middle School: Accurate Assessment edition

The backstory:  7th graders at my school learn the first half of U.S. History and are seeking to understand some pretty complicated subjects, including slavery.  Two 7th graders were at work on understanding the Three-Fifths Compromise when I was in class with them earlier this week.

Student M:  I don't get the Three-Fifths Compromise.  What is it again?

Student C:  What it is is MESSED UP.

The language may not be sophisticated but the understanding is pretty damn spot on.

Real Life Conversations in 6th grade: Nuances edition

The backstory:  In a Middle School creative writing class, 6th graders were being reminded that their stories may feature lots of imaginary elements but no violence and no death.  Characters may be creatively removed, but it ain't gonna happen by force.  

Student J:  Ms. B, can my story have someone being chased by a chainsaw?  He won't die.

Ms. B:  No.  No chainsaw.

Student J:  Okay.  No chainsaw.  

Then he paused and tilted his head before he spoke…..

Student J:  Crowbar?

We all erupted with laughter.  Because, crowbar?  Turns out no crowbars are allowed either.

Dang it.

Real Life Conversation with the Sixth Grade: Ambitions edition

The backstory:  My 6th graders offer a whole new world view, as was the case in this conversation I had with student V about time management in class.

Me:  Why aren't you working on the worksheet, V?

Student V:  I'd rather do it at home.

Me:  But then you aren't doing anything in class.  You should use class time to complete class work.  Then you can review it at home.

V:  Why?

Me:  Because that's how you learn to manage your time and work effectively and because that's when I am her to help you.  One day, when you go to work, you'll need to use your work time efficiently and do your work during the work day, not at home.  We should practice now.

While V thought over this gem of wisdom, Student H chimed in with a tone of great confidence:  I don't need to worry about this because I am going to be a pop star when I grow up.

In which case, all these lessons about Roman civilization might not be all that useful.

Real Life Conversations at School: Digital Age edition

The backstory:  Last year, I began to teach my classes using an iPad and Apple TV.  I learned how to manage the equipment in my classroom and even with the steep learning curve, the process went well.  This year, I teach in three different classrooms, rather upping the ante for use of my high tech devices.  And this year it's 6th graders who watch as I remember how to trouble-shoot the tech issues.  A little more patience and problem solving are the order of the day as I adjust, as it was one morning this past week.

Me (to the class):  While your write your answer to the Do Now exercise, I will try to solve this with the Apple TV problem.  Let's all be patient.

Student X:  What if it doesn't work?

Me:  Well, I think it I can solve the problem, so let's not worry about that quite yet.

Student Y, speaking with the wisdom of youth:  If it doesn't work, you can write on the board.  That won't let us down.

Internet, the digital generation knows a few things.

Real Life Conversations at School: Sodomy edition

The backstory:  In my American Government classes, we study a couple of textbook chapters that cover civil liberties and civil rights.  They cover Supreme Court cases on a number of controversial issues, including the separation of church and state, criminal rights, and the death penalty.  It also includes the right to privacy and ultimately lands us in a discussion of abortion and sodomy laws.  It's not every woman who can look forward to going to school to talk sodomy with teenagers.  Over the years I've come to realize that a fact-based discussion of sodomy laws is the only way to play this lesson.  I've done it for so long, that I thought nothing would surprise me.  And then along came Student D.

Student D:  You know, Ms. M, until you told me, I had no idea what sodomy was.

Me:  Well, D, I confess, I'm not really sure how to respond to this revelation.

Student D:  Yeah, I went home and told my mom.  I don't think that she knew either.

Me:  Let the record reflect that I just passed up the best lead ever for a "your mama" joke.  I'm bigger than that, D.

Upon reflection, I'm wondering just what this mom thought when her boy came home to discuss sodomy and other things he's learned at school.  I'm hopful it didn't happen at the supper table.  

Real Life Conversations at School: Laughter edition

The backstory:  My daily job entails spending time with 9 through 12th graders. In the  flow of those days, I'm working with students who are approaching adulthood.  My 11th and 12th grade classes are enjoyable (at least I find them enjoyable), but they are also a serious business, because they are about complicated ideas and the preparation of students for the demands of college and the world beyond.  And mine is not the only class making demands on their time and intellect.  There's english, math, science, foreign language, art, music, and the extra-curricular activities that allow them to prove to colleges that they are good time-managers and well-rounded students.  Among these sometimes exhausting obligations, it's far too easy to lose sight of laughter and joy in learning.  So I turn to the 2nd grade for a reminder.  For the last 5 years, each week, I walk over to the Lower School and read a book to the 2nd grade.  This year, I choose to read two books from Beverly Cleary's Ramona series.

On Friday afternoon, as I wrapped up the 2nd grade's weekly Ramona, I told my 2nd grade buddies that I had to walk back up the hill and teach my 12th graders.  

2nd grader:  Will you read them the Ramona book?  I think they would like it.

Me:  No, I won't be able to read about Ramona.  We are studying the Supreme Court, so I will tell them some stories about the Supreme Court.

2nd grader (in a tone of solemn knowledge):   I know about that.  It's the BIG building.

I said good bye and walked back to my classroom and the last class of the week, where I promptly repeated the conversation.  We all laughed, and though the 12th grade made an unsuccessful bid for Ramona, we returned our attention to the matter of free speech in the big building with smiles on our faces.  Not a bad way to end the week.

Real Life Conversations at School: Checking Out edition

The backstory: I teach an Advanced Placement Government course to 12th graders who are students in a school with grades running from pre-school to the 12th grade.  Each year, a select group of our graduates are receiving diplomas from the only school they've ever attended.  They first began pre-school here at the age of 3 and now, at the age of 18, they will leave for college.  That's a long time to be in one place and we call these kids "lifers."  Like every other AP Government student in the nation, my students will take their big test on May 15.  I must finish teaching all the course material before then (and I do) and after that test date, the class is on a slow slide to the end of the school year (the last day of classes for us is May 25).  The other day, the students wanted to know what we would be doing in class when the AP test was over.  Experience has taught me that I should be vague about this period of the course, mostly so that they have some incentive to show up and avoid checking out.

Me: "We'll do something that I think will be fun.  And whatever we do, you must at least pretend to care."

Student K: "Don't worry.  I've been doing that for 15 years."

It might be time for K to move on.