Sugar (cookie) Mama

Last night JT and I made sugar cookies for the 1st grade Halloween party. We'll decorate the cookies tonight and bring them to the festivities tomorrow. JT was excited to help with the baking ---- that boy can crack an egg with the best of them ---- and as he was stealing yet another taste of cookie dough he said, "Everybody loves the cookies I bring, Mama. You always make me cookies." It made my heart sing.

I have this colossal fear that since I'm now the only parent responsible for the day-to-day, I will become stodgy and boring, while Lisa gets to be Captain Fun ---- the 5 hour a week parent. I try my best to make sure that JT and I have fun every day, but some days that's a challenge. There's laundry to wash and homework to get done; supper to be made; trash to take out and any number of the daily chores that make up my life as a single mama. Sometimes it's hard to find the fun.

But last night, up to our elbows in flour, I realized that JT looks to me for everything: stability, rules, responsibility, and, yes, fun. And he knows that I am always going to be here for him. He knows that I'll tuck him into bed each night and be there with clean clothes and a full lunchbox in the morning. And from me he will learn that loving is more than just the fun, it's the whole package of caring for someone else. I may not be Captain Fun but I'm the cookie Mama and a whole lot more.

I'll take it.

Update: A picture of the finished product.