Saturday, May 20, 2017

Saturday at Costco: Why Do I Do This to Myself? edition

Whenever possible, I make my Costco run on a weeknight, when the overcrowding potential is low.  But so far May has been too busy for that and this morning found me using the last of the half and half for my coffee, an event that could signal the apocalypse.  Needs must, as they say.  So I headed to Costco.  The parking lot was full and I abandoned my car in the first parking spot I could find, girded myself, and entered America’s favorite shopping warehouse.



The only advantage of Costco on weekend is that you will see some things that amuse.  Usually, it’s in the form of atypical sartorial choices, but today's weirdness came in the form of inexplicable shopping choices.  In list form, then:

1.  A woman with her entire cart filled to the brim with hot dog buns.  There was nothing else, including the actual hotdogs.  Surely she was there with a friend whose cart contained the requisite hotdogs and condiments?  I looked but never saw a companion cart.  I want to know the rest of this story.

2.  A woman with a case of Vienna sausages.  I’ve always assumed no one ever bought these.  Today proved my wrong.

3.  A long line of Indian people looking to try out a Costco-sized display of pre-prepared Indian food.  By the comments, I gather that the chicken tikka masala was pretty good.  This isn’t particularly odd, but there is delicious Indian food everywhere in New Jersey and it’s all available for take out.  I wouldn’t solve that problem for myself via Costco.

4.  An unfortunately detailed conversation between a long-married couple about their need to try a new brand of better-quality toilet paper.  I get it, but maybe have that convo at home and then come to Costco and make a final selection in silence?

And my favorite sighting…..two little boys, about 5 years old, daring one another to enter the cold-storage dairy section, and laughing with delight at their bravery.  They were cute as a minute and a reminder that joy can be found in the mundane.  Today, they were my joy.

In the interests of full disclosure, my cart is pictured below.  The sweet peppers and raspberries were impulse purchases.  Cream for my coffee needs are met through mid-June; thank heavens for the world of ultra-pasteurized dairy.


From start to finish, I was in the store for 30 minutes, which has to rank as impressive on a Saturday and is a testament to list-based shopping.  Parking lot extraction took 7 minutes and reminded me why back-up cameras were invented (JT’s car has one but my wagon does not).  When I started my car, the song on my randomized iPod playlist was Roxy Music’s “More Than This,” which seemed a tad over-enthusiastic about Costco.  But I made it out alive, and for a Saturday at Costco, I’ll take it.

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