Live Blogging the State of the Union

8:55 pm

It's just me and Alberto Gonzales sitting home watching the speech. I've got my jammies on. What about Al? Is he wearing his favorite sweats? Has he popped some popcorn? Gotten out the ice cream? I assume he's sober because jeez, they left him home in case disaster struck.

Decision time is upon me: which channel to watch? I like Bob Schieffer of CBS but I cannot stand listening to Katie Couric. Sure, she's America's sweetheart, but she's not so bright. And for as much money as she makes, you'd think she could get a better cut and color job. CBS is out.

I'm over to NBC. I like Brian Williams but I cannot stand Tim Russert. He's forgotten that he's a journalist here to tell us what's happening, not what to think about what's happening. So unless Williams is going to tape Russert's mouth shut, I can't stay here.

Off to ABC. Still showing America's Funniest Home Videos. Does anyone really watch that show anymore?

Fox? No.

CNN it is, though I have a long-standing objection to watching The Situation Room because, well, it's called The Situation Room. And the fact that Wolf and Paula had a huge diagram of the House chamber where the big event happens, showing us where all the politicians will sit, bored us all. Sadly, I enjoyed the conversation about what Nancy Pelosi was wearing because, well, I'm shallow like that.

9:02
The members of the Supreme Court who drew the short straws have arrived, in their freshly ironed robes: Roberts, Kennedy, Breyer, and Alito.

And now the Cabinet.

Mike Johans is as big a dork as ever. And here's a trivia question: which member of the Senate is Elaine Chao, the Secretary of Labor, married to?

9:13
Very gratifying to hear all these men -- even the president -- refer to Nancy Pelosi's historical presence on the stage tonight. Good for women and damnit, good for little boys to see a woman in this position. Though my boy will have to watch on You Tube tomorrow morning. Madam Speaker sounds good.

9:18
Cheney looks so annoyed. Has he got some place better to be? Has he got a few L-Word episodes on tape that he wants to watch?

9:27
Just caught a glimpse of John Kerry. What I would give to hear his internal dialogue at this moment......"I lost to this moron? Unbelievable."

9:34
Any chance we will reduce our gasoline use by 20% via the method used by every other democracy? Rigourous MPG standards and an increase in the gas tax? Because it's hard for me to see how a bigger emergency petroleum reserve is going to do the trick.

9:39
I like her, But Hilary Clinton has a mullet. That's not very presidential.

9:53
Everyone opposes terrorism and no one thinks that crazed nation states should have nuclear weapons. Got it.

Could George W. Bush find Darfur or Burma on a map?

10:06
All over now. It was a fine speech and he clearly gets the need to reach out for some political compromise. But I don't think these folks will stand by his side for his Iraq plan.