Crush

My first real crush was in high school. I was a senior and A was a friend of my sister (memo to the sister: did you even know this?). She was vibrant and funny and made up her own vocabulary for things. I loved that about her. She was tall ----- taller than me ----- with an angular haircut and a great sense of style. Things were just different when she was around and I liked that.

At the time, I had no idea that I had a crush on her. I just thought that I liked her because she was so funny. I had yet to receive that internal "hey, you're a lesbian memo." And when I went to college and realized that I was gay, it was a slow realization: I just thought that everyone felt like I did.

But ultimately, A was that source of that realization.