February 17

JT was born at 12:29 am on February 17, 2000. He was 7 pounds, 9 ounces and 20 and a 1/2 inches long. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He was amazing. He still is.

In the end, I had to have help bringing him into the world. My midwife was joined by an OB/GYN who used something called a vacuum extractor --- it sounds worse than it was. Basically, it pulled while I pushed. Things were exciting at the end, with everybody urging me on. At the time, I just thought births were always like this; I learned later that I was very close to a C-section. But I did it and he was born.

In keeping with the spirit of the enterprise, his first few moments were tense. His first APGAR score was low but soon we heard him cry out and the smiling pediatrician came around to say, "He has 5 and 5 and 5 and 5 and 1 and 2." I laughed. And then I got to hold him for the first time. I cried of course. I had wanted this baby for so long and now he was here. He had enormous dark eyes, my sweet boy, and he was very alert in the middle of the night.

My next goal was to walk back to my room. I had been chained to a bed for nearly 3 days and I wanted to walk. The nurses were hesitant but my midwife knew about my willpower. And so at 2:30 in the morning I walked back to my room. While the baby got the once-over in the nursery, I got a little bit of sleep that night ------- it was so nice to be able to sleep on my belly again.

And as the sun rose, the nurse brought me my son. He and I had matching wristbands to go with our matching dark eyes and the dark hair on our heads. We were a team that morning and we are still a team. We spent the day together, rocking and learning about one another. I talked to him about his world ------- his two mommies, his loyal dog, his home, the many people who loved him already, and the life that we would build for him. I wanted to promise him that he would never ever be sad, but I knew that I couldn't do that. Life does sometimes hurt. But I promised that I would always love him; that I would always be on his side. I looked into his dark shiny eyes and I knew that everything had changed.

And here we are seven years later. My baby is a boy now. Every day he makes me laugh and smile. He has a big heart and a kind smile. His dark eyes still shine like they did on that first day 7 years ago. He's funny and forgiving. When he awakened this morning I could hear him singing, "It's my birthday; it's my birthday." And then he shot downstairs, wearing his pajamas and his birthday crown. He opened his presents ----- and read his cards out loud! ----- and his joy is evident. And 7 years later we are still a brown-eyed team.

Happy Birthday sweet boy. Your mama loves you.