Sunday, March 16, 2014

Someone Got a New Thesaurus

In his 8th grade English class, every few weeks JT is confronted by a new vocabulary list and the task at hand is to identify the different conjugations of a word.  We like words at Sassafras House but we hate these vocabulary lists because parts of speech are annoying.  That is to say we find conjugation an annoyance.  The task annoys us.  You get the idea.

I think that we should outsource the job to Pantone, because the people over there clearly have a big fat SAT-worthy vocabulary and they are eager to use it.  Case in point: the description of the color of the year for 2014.  I am speaking of Radiant Orchid.  Of course.  In their press release, Pantone reports that the color is a “captivating purple.  One that draws you in with its beguiling charm.”  It “inspires confidence and emanates great joy, love and health.”  Dang, I need to get me some of that.

As usual when it comes to the new Pantone color, last year’s color takes a hit.  Pantone writes of the 2013 color, Emerald, that it “served as a symbol of growth, renewal and prosperity.”  Given the state of the economy and the craptastic nature of Congress, Pantone isn’t going to make that claim again.  See you later, greedy Emerald.  Our new friend, that always-captivating Radiant Orchid, "...reaches across the color wheel to intrigue the eye and spark the imagination.  An invitation to innovation, Radiant Orchid encourages expanded creativity and originality, which is increasingly valued in today’s society.”

Well okay.  You go, Radiant Orchid.  Bring it.  Radiant Orchid (light purple if you never got beyond the basic Crayola colors) is “captivating, magical, and enigmatic.”  It sounds impressive but I think that’s actually code for doesn’t match a single fucking thing in your closet.

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