Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Trouble in My Mailbox

Months ago, back when John McCain was the laughingstock of the GOP presidential candidates, down and out on his luck, I went to his website, looking to buy a couple of bumper stickers for my classroom bulletin board.

To get a McCain sticker, I had to make a campaign donation of $5. I wanted that damn sticker for decorative purposes and so I made the donation. The McCain campaign has since sold my name and address to every Republican organization they can find. I get mail from the Republican National Committee; the Republican Senate Re-election committee, even Grover Norquist and his evil minions have dropped me a personalized letter full of alarming statistics about taxes and the government's desire to eat every last penny of my income and then take my first-born.

But yesterday took the cake: the Heritage Foundation wants to know how I feel about taxes and government spending. What I think is that they wasted their money contacting me. What I further think is that I will waste a few more of their pennies by returning their post-paid envelope. The real question is what I will write inside that envelope. Should I out myself as the progressive liberal that I am? Or should I stay under cover, and claim to be a dyed-in-the-wool Republican who loves unnecessary pork barrel spending?

Either way, it's a delicious choice.


J.Bro said...

If it's a blank check for return postage, I suggest filling out the form as liberally as possible and sending it back attached to a box full of bricks.

Sharkbuttocks said...

My thoughts were also along the lines of getting the most bang for their postage buck whilst sending in your liberally completed form, but I'd suggest sending the collected contents of a weeks worth of litter box.

Chelle said...

I regularly get mail from the Republican Party, including a personalized autographed photo of W and Laura, from Catholic organizations and from the NRA. I am not a Republican, a Catholic or a gun proponent. What I am is a woodworker, and therefore in someone's mind I am a 60ish, white, redneck.

As to what to do with your undesired mail - that's a tough call. Stay connected to the dark side or reveal your true feelings...