Saturday, July 28, 2012

Making My House a Home

Though JT lives with me full-time, he sees his other mom every other weekend and on the occasional afternoon.  Those breaks in our life together are tolerable and, after 6 years of this arrangement, I've come to expect them.  But twice a year, he's away from home for a whole week.  I wonder if I will ever get used to that.

I help him pack his things, I assure him that he will have a good time, I dearly hope that he doesn't miss me.  But my house is a little quieter in his absence and my days lack the anchor of a child.  It feels like a void; a sore spot in my daily existence.  I fill the time and keep busy; there are plenty of things I can get done, of course.  That I have no choice in this arrangement is also worth noting.  I don't like it but I can't change it so I try my level best not to be sucked down into the grief of what-might-have-beens.  Instead, I concentrate on being grateful for the fact that he lives with me for the other 50 weeks of the year.  The sure knowledge that my house is his home is a comfort.

Still, my house doesn't quite feel like home without the boy in the mix.  He returns this morning, and then we head west in a few days.  He'll be off for a second week with his other mom in August and I'll face that week when it happens.  Today, I'm just glad to have my boy back where he belongs.  

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