Tweets That Weren't

We are back from our annual camping trip, a trip that features a computer-free lifestyle.  That meant no tweets for the past 10 days, which helps to explain that strange sense of peace you've been enjoying.  But your respite is up, Internet.  I'm back.  More to the point, I kept a list of things I would have tweeted if I wasn't lolling about in the woods.  

1.  I cannot take seriously a man wearing a visor.

2.  To the man in P'town driving the ancient Ford Taurus w/ the thumping bass: Sir, that's not making you as sexually attractive as you think.

3.  Sure, judge me for wearing my niteshirt to the restroom in the morning, kid. But remember that I wasn't the one wearing lilac crocs.

4.  Something about camping in the woods makes me think that applying deodorant constitutes quality personal grooming.

5.  You're driving a giant Mercedes SUV…put on a shirt, damnit.

6.  Cost of a campsite for the night: $35. JT, announcing, "we smell bad" in the tent at the end of the day: priceless.

I slept in a sand-free bed last night, just steps from a bathroom featuring air conditioning and a flush toilet.  Today, I'll dig out from the mountain of sandy laundry in my basement, pet some cats of my acquaintance, and download my pictures from camp.  Despite the fact that it's Africa-hot around here, I am happy to be home.