One reason that I chose to participate in the Thing-a-Day urge to creativity is that it happened in February. February is the month in which my son was born, and though it's been 8 years, I still remember the feeling of pregnant waiting in the first half of the month, the joy of his birth on the 17th, and then the trial-by-fire back half of the month, when I was a boy's mama for the very first time.
Perhaps as a result of this experience, I regard February as a transformative month: everything in my life changed in February 2000. February has been good to me and it seemed like a good idea for me to be good to February. Today's creativity is a few thoughts about my life as a parent.
When you're a kid, birthdays are great fun and so exciting. You don't really think about what the birthday means to your mama. JT's birthday means so much to me. It's a chance to celebrate my son and also to think about my first few weeks as a mama, when I was alternately joyous and anxious. I worried about EVERYTHING. These days I'm (mostly) more relaxed about things, more confident in my ability to know what my son needs, more able to trust my parenting instincts.
I think of February 17th as the best day in my life. I know that I am the person that I am today because of my son. He makes me laugh and he reminds me of what truly matters in life. I know that he keeps me strong, even when I don't want to be strong anymore. He reminds me of what matters most in this world.
Happy Birthday, sweet boy. Your mama loves you very much.