For the big sporting weekend, I stocked up on the sort of nourishment one requires to watch endless hours of basketball: Cherry 7-Up. I grabbed a big bottle off the shelf at Target, brought it home to chill, and then served up a glass on Saturday night.
At which point I realized that it did not taste like the fizzy sweet concoction that I had come to expect. It would seem that the nice people at 7-Up loaded up my soda with anti-oxidants, in a bold attempt to make my tasty non-nutritional soda less non-nutritional. And, sadly, less tasty as well.
Memo to 7-Up: When I want antioxidants, I will eat the fruits and vegetables that naturally provide them. And if I am turning to soda for my antioxidants, then let's be completely honest: I'm screwed.
My friends, this is a sign of the Apocalypse.