On Monday afternoon, after 10 days away, JT returned home. We've been through this routine a few times now and so I know what to expect. The moment we two are alone in the house, he grabs hold of me and starts to cry. For the next 15 minutes, he clings to me while I hold on to him.
We don't really say anything, we just hold one another tight and we both cry. I think it's an expression of the pent up emotions of the time away from one another. There is a strain involved in making do in the midst of the irregularity that life apart brings us. And once we return to one another's company, we can finally exhale. In those moments, our mutual relief is palpable.
Though it happens every time that we are apart for more than a few days, the intensity of the return to our life together always surprises me. That I have deeply missed him while he is away is a given. Life without the boy around is so very different that it feels unrecognizable. I hope that when he is away from me his life doesn't feel uncertain or incomplete. I know that he's not afraid to leave, and I am glad of that. That he's happy to return is equally certain.
In that certainty I can see how blessed I am to be JT's mama. And I am glad for it.
Update: Blogger and I are getting along just slightly better, and I would be pleased except that I don't know what I did to unify the font. Gah.
Update: Blogger and I are getting along just slightly better, and I would be pleased except that I don't know what I did to unify the font. Gah.
1 comment:
What are you gonna do when he goes to college?? Be his roommate? It might be hard to pick up chicks/dudes with your Mama as your roomie. :)
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