Family Day

Every spring my school has Family Day for children in the lower school. This is J.T.'s 4th year in the school and we've been to Family Day twice before; two years ago we skipped because we were moving into a new home. Twice before when Lisa joined us for Family Day, she was cranky and unpleasant, as if being part of a family was a burden. As if she had someplace else to be.

So this year I did Family Day on my own because it turns out that Lisa did have someplace else to be. And the funny part was not that I felt lonely (I didn't really) but that I realized how much of my time in my old life had been taken up by Lisa's anger and unhappiness.

She would have me believe that her anger and her unhappiness were caused by me, but the truth is something beyond that. She never enjoyed being a parent and was forever impatient with JT. It was easier for her to walk out on a child and pretend that I forced her into it than it is to admit the sad truth that a child loves her with all of his heart but she doesn't love him back, not in the way that she must have known a parent should.

So I watched the show and we had our picnic and cotton candy. JT took his turn on the big puffy slide. It was loud and there was plenty of crazy laughter. And JT and I were happy to be a family all on our own today.