The prompt at Sunday Scribblings is "I get that sinking feeling...."
JT has been gearing up for the school year by learning to spell his last name and thinking about his family. Every school year begins with a discussion of who you are and it always starts with family. When you are the child of a broken family, that's an experience fraught with the prospect of pain. He drew a picture of his family the other day, a drawing that included me, his mama; JT (taller than his mama, which is a little closer to reality than I am prepared to acknowledge); and our cats, Tiger and Lucy. He showed me the picture, which included all of our names, carefully spelled beneath our image.
I am always sad to see this picture of our family because another person used to make these drawings and her absence in his depiction is just a sinking feeling for me. I am reminded of our failure to give JT what I believe he deserves, a two-parent household. And because I worry about his heart, I gently suggested that maybe he could include Lisa in his drawing.
"No," he said decisively. "She left and doesn't live in my house. She's not in my family."
This explains how he feels and I can't tell him that he is wrong. She did leave and he knows it. And it strikes me again that there is a whole lot of wisdom in my brown-eyed boy, probably more than Lisa ever expected.
Update: Thanks to everyone for the supportive comments. I feel very well-loved this Sunday afternoon and that's a really good thing.