Indoor/Outdoor Mama

When JT was first born and I had been home with the baby for a couple of weeks, there was a day when I was suddenly overwhelmed by the parenting task at hand. I looked at this tiny baby and thought: I have to teach him to sleep by himself, to give up diapers, to drink from a cup, to read, to ride a bike, to drive a car, to hold down a job.....The list in my head was endless. I was momentarily overwhelmed and paralyzed by the task at hand.

Then I relaxed. At less than 10 pounds and still snuggled in a blanket, it seemed to me that I had some time to get a plan for these things and the zillions more that would surely occur between that moment and some point in the infinite future when then-baby Taylor would be an adult. Plus, I had the benefit of a partner in parenting in the form of JT's other mom. Having a partner in this venture was an enormous comfort.

These days I've been a single parent for more than two years. And in the midst of daily living, I know better than to borrow trouble in the form of worries about the future. Since I was suddenly handed the job of parent, party of one, I have overseen a successful campaign to teach JT to read; I taught him to ride his bike and to swim; to start the washer and dryer; to make his own bed; to get into (and out of!) the shower on his own (without several gallons of water ending up on the bathroom floor). If I put my mind to it, I could create a much longer list. I don't borrow future worries, though I miss having a partner in the parenting venture.
When we were camping, I realized that I have come to think of myself as a multiple-skill parent. The world is JT's oyster and it's my job to make sure that he can manage as much of it as possible. I do that by showing him that I can make things happen for our family of two. I'm proud that I can load the bikes on to the back of the car, drive us 330 miles to camp in the woods, set up our tent, blow up the air mattress, and make some room for fun.

While in those woods, I teach him to respect the beauty and diversity of nature, enjoy a romp in the ocean with his buddy D, relish a meal made at camp, climb to the top of the nearby lighthouse, and to appreciate the serenity of waking up in a tent in the woods each morning.


We've just completed our third summer camping trip and it would be unthinkable without the help and companionship of our good friends the R-K family. They first gave me the courage to try this trip and they are the backbone of my efforts. I couldn't get it done without them.
On the way home from our camping trip, I realized that I now think of myself as an Indoor/Outdoor Mama. I can keep a comfortable and orderly household featuring home-cooked meals and clean laundry. I can also show JT the joys of the outdoor world: our garden, camp in the woods, the feel of washing up with an ocean wave; and even the beauty (and increasingly funky smell) of days without bathing.
I haven't done this all by myself. I have had the help of friends and family who graciously understand my nearly paralyzing inability to ask for help, and then help me anyway. I am a multi-purpose Mama, doing her level best to see that JT masters all the skills needed to have a happy life. I miss the help and quiet support of having a fellow parent. I expect that I always will. But I am getting the job done on a daily basis. And that is a comfort as I face the uncertainties of the future.