Over the weekend there was a town-wide garage sale in Sassafras Town. Some people even had bright helium balloons out in their yards which read "Garage Sale." I don't wish to spoil anyone's festive decor, but don't you think that the heap of crap you've just piled in your front yard pretty much tells us what we need to know about what's going on?
Other signs of impending garage sale madness can also be identified. Look for people squealing around the corner and pulling their cars to an abrupt halt wherever they can (traffic patterns be damned!), spilling out into the streets and wandering around to check out other people's trash.
Oh, New Jersey.